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Rejection is hard

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Leni-Ali, Jul 17, 2019.

  1. Leni-Ali

    Leni-Ali New Member

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    I don't know if I am autistic. But I just got a call and I've been rejected from I job I really wanted and worked hard to get. The reason is - again - that I am too "out of the box".
    I've been rejected so many times for just being the person I am, and I work in the CREATIVE industry!
    My therapist spent a great deal of time just yesterday trying to convince me I belong, I fit in and I am not a freaky alien.
    It is hard to stop feeling like I don't fit in, and I belong, when I keep being rejected.
    I am ok in being the weird one, I just would like people to accept that, and stop trying to change my feelings.
    Sorry for the rant, I am supposed to enjoy a day out with my kids and I am hiding in a corner and crying.
     
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  2. Baeraad

    Baeraad Well-Known Member

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    The world is a series of regulation-sized slots for regulation-sized tabs. There are some atypical opportunities for atypical people, but the more you deviate, the fewer and more far between they are. :(
     
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  3. Rexi

    Rexi owo uwu owo SlightlyFilterless Atheist Science=<3

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    Maybe you should tell your therapist you wish he would give up convincing you you're not different because it makes you feel sad.

    People don't receive you the way they receive each other, they don't understand your unique perception and reaction to things they perceive differently. Thats too bad.
     
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  4. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    Is "out of the box" a direct quote? Did they explain in what way?

    Being rejected always hurts, but alas it's a part of life for everyone. Applying for jobs is an especially demoralising process, so much effort and it can take ages to get any return. Sorry to hear that it has ruined what should have been a good day.
     
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  5. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Sorry you didn't get the job you wanted.
    And the therapist was probably trying to make you feel better instead of just listening and accepting your feelings. (Can not think of the word for it). I was talking to my psychiatrist when I first wanted a diagnosis and one of the things I told him was that I don't have friends and don't know how to make friends. His response was that sometimes people click and sometimes they don't. Really? I got tearful when he said that and he put me on an antidepressant. It was the therapist that sent me for the diagnosis. But I guess, just like doctors and nurses, some listen and hear what your saying and some don't.
     
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  6. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Frustrating- and confusing.

    That dichotomy of sorts between goods and services requiring that "out-of-box" thinking, where employers may also factor in a perceived need for cooperation and teamwork mentality. And don't necessarily explain it in any real detail.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019
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  7. TopherPwn

    TopherPwn Active Member

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    I feel the same way, I don't really have any advice. If I did I wouldn't be in this spot. Seems like I always stand out. It intimidates people, it gets people angry/jealous, or makes everyone depend on me. You're not alone, that's about all I can say. I do hope things get better for you.
     
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  8. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    Was this after an interview? How would a job know you that well before hiring you? Were you being yourself?? That's not how getting jobs works, for anyone.
     
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  9. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Leni-Ali, Being yourself at an interview is the smartest thing to do. Not all jobs are suited to all people. It's a competition, but what hurts most is recognizing yourself as the best person for that job, but others aren't smart enough to recognize that also. Such is the interview game. You will never know what work at this place might have been like for you. The employer knows the workplace best, but they are not necessarily very good at identifying good talent unless they are very experienced in HR and know how to probe for your extra value. Anyone on the spectrum has extra value.

    Don't feel bad about a missed opportunity. You can only assume that if they didn't see you as the right person, they must have had a good reason. It's always best to be yourself because that is the person you are bringing to the job. Lots of others were also not selected. Stick to your values and be proud of yourself for your honesty. It's always easy to defend honesty. Generate some new opportunities. A good fit will make you much happier.
     
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  10. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    I agree. Still chin up it will get better for you soon.
     
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