Reflecting on My Journey to Independence

[Punchr0ck3r17]

Has anyone else ever looked back at where they've been in life and kind of done a double take when you realize just how much you've accomplished in spite of having Autism? I've been doing that a lot recently, especially with regards to living independently. After spending some time thinking about my personal journey to successfully living independently, I decided to record some of my thoughts in a blog post.https://anxiousautistic.blogspot.com/2020/01/autism-and-independence.html

Check it out if you're interested and leave me some feedback or your thoughts. If you don't want to check it out, I'd still love to hear your thoughts and experiences with learning to be independent with Autism in the mix. Can't wait to read your comments!!

 

[Aspie_With_Attitude]

I couldn't help myself sharing you this video content from my autistic YouTube channel "Aspie With Attitude". First of, I had used opera music for my video content, if you don't like opera, hey don't listen, mute, watch my effects. Once it's over, while I am doing my fidget spinner trick you unmute, then listen to what I have to say up until I do my fidget spinner trick in the end of my video.

Otherwise in this video I discuss what my life is like living all by myself, how I have an apartment all to myself and what it takes to live independently. I briefly discuss that there's a lot of work to do like holding a full time job, having to clean like vacuum and doing your laundry, managing money matters, that you need to cook and wash up afterwards, lastly, understand personal hygiene like brushing your teeth and having a shower.

Living independently is not much of an easy ride, once you understand the work is involved and that you're committed in putting in the work, the workload in your home life may get easier once you stay on top of all these things.

 

[GadAbout]

OK, I read your blog post.

I have only a couple comments. One is that anybody, autistic or not, might have similar experiences their first couple of shots at independence, and end up falling back on their parents for rescue. Secondly, if you accept the need for social support (which you did not, initially), it's no mystery how to build that - the suggestion about church was useful, but there are myriad ways that people establish connection.

All in all, a well written blog!

 

[SusanLR]

Of all the people in the world, your family members are the ones who understand you the best. After all, they've lived with you for your whole life …well, at least your parents have. End Quote.

This is where I really stopped emotional growth.
Unless you enjoy living alone, I never understood needing more people close to you than those who have lived with you your whole life as long as you all get along and are happy with each other. You can live, work, and do what you want in life. It's still an independent decision of who you want to live with and who you want or don't want on a close basis.
I never considered it a rescue. Just the way of life I preferred.

But, I guess that's where if you've never felt the desire for anything else, how can you understand it?
Just because society says this is the way you are supposed to live your life never made me want to.

 

[clg114]

I am very independent and I believe that it is because of my autism. I can do things that others can not. I think this is because of my special interests and my ability to focus on them. If I was neurologically typical, I do not think that I would be able to do these things. I like being a Aspie.

 

[Schism]

I have always been independent. Too much so. My childhood was very isolated so I learnt to cope on my own. My adulthood pretty much the same. When I opened up to people, I found it turned against me so I shut down. I am now totally independent. It's a lonely existence though.

 

[Thinx]

Interesting blog. Personally, I haven't needed or wanted family nearby, I think that would depend on whether you have found your family supportive. Some will have, others less so.

I do enjoy independence, very much so, but I have been lonely at times, and I am very lacking in practical abilities, being quite dyspraxic, which has meant everywhere I ve lived has stayed exactly how it is when I moved in. I never felt I could tackle decorating or cope with the muddle it entails.

I agree that meeting people or making friends in social situations is tough to to the point of impossibility, for me, and I have tended to have social contact with colleagues from work or classes and interest groups I attend.

I think more could be done to facilitate autistic people in this area. We're different, and require different social facilities and constructs. Hopefully this may be better understood as time goes on.

 

[GadAbout]

Don't give in to loneliness. It can kill you.

Loneliness can be lethal.

 

[SusanLR]

Interesting read @GadAbout and science proves this is true for the same with grief, anxiety and depression also.
Search the net and there are also many links to ASD and shorter life span.

The physical basis that all these have in common is #1. depression/ suicide.
#2. A myriad of physical ailments that inflammation brings on.
Inflammation is from cytokines and that effects the immune system.
Living in a prolonged state of depression and fight or flight response so effects the immune system
that common diseases arising from this are heart disease, stroke, diabetes, RA and related illness.
Even cancer.
Also neurological problems run high from nerve/brain inflammation. MS, dementia, epilepsy, etc.

Health problems started happening quickly after loss of my parents.
I could intuitively feel this lonely sense of depression was the reason and started researching the cause and effect.

If you are happy alone and some say they are, that is fine.
Not everyone feels loneliness alone. Wish I knew how to feel that way.
I've made it to 62 and I would say it was because I lived the way I was happy and comfortable.
I didn't force myself through the pressures of trying to be something I wasn't.
And I didn't feel loneliness. Now I do.

I've seen others post on feeling this way also.
Feeling alone in a world of people. Unable to be comfortable with others or connect.
Try, but, if it is uncomfortable and never feel connections to others then that is a stressor also.
And it's back to feeling unattached and lonely even though I can function quite well.
There's no pill either to make you able to feel attachment to others.
I've had CBT for years, but, that doesn't make you feel something you don't either.
Always wondered why I couldn't feel close to anyone except my immediate family.
The only answer psychiatrists and psychologists tell me is because I grew up on the spectrum
in a time when no one knew it and it wasn't noticed.
It's good to see much more early awareness now.