Reactions at stimming…

[artsygirl_103]

How do you cope or react, when you know, you‘re already in an overload and some people just STRESS you out…
I had a very stressful day today at work, and before I was really tired, started stimming (biting my nails and fidgeting on a ring I have) (it was nearly time to leave)
And I just hate it when somebody says any kind of stupid (sorry) comment like „don‘t bite your nails“…
I‘m reacting quite irritably, because I don‘t have energy anymore and it‘s really not helpful, because i just try to hold it together until I‘m home…
And I‘m really really really trying to find other ways for stimming, but it‘s not always possible for me!

How do you react? Sadly it‘s some kind of thing (the stimming) the people don‘t unterstand, because the situations aren‘t big of deal for them (NT)

I really like my job and most of the time it‘s perfect, because I have a lot of routines and every day is nearly the same!
But somtimes (when they happen) comments like those just stress me out, because I already know, nobody would really unterstand how it feels…

(And yes, I already gave them a Book on Asperger Autism - they haven‘t read it till now and that was months ago)

And now I‘m straight going into a shutdown… Completely overwhelmed, tired, have no more energy and every kind of conversation, bright light indoors, sounds,… stresses me out…

You don‘t even have to react, I just wanted to put my thoughts down here…
Thanks for reading!

 

[kriss72]

I don't know if I can give much advise, I have spend countless meetings sitting on my hands in order to keep them quiet and locking my feet around the legs of my chair to keep them quiet (I'm audhd) and sometimes I realize that I have just been jumping and done hand flapping of pure excitement in front of a whiteboard at work - I have also been told to not bite pencils, finger nails or to look people in the eyes when I was in school...

I talked to a psychologist at one time who told me, maybe it's better for me to not sit on my hands, that it might be better to just do the stimming - I'm also in my 50'ties so might be more easy to not care about what others think... I came to a point, where I thought, yes I'm autistic and I stim, why should I feel bad about it, it's painfull to not move or stim, so now I just do it... but I'm also wearing a sunflower lanyard and have pins on my bag saying I'm ND and audhd.

 

[artsygirl_103]

I came to a point, where I thought, yes I'm autistic and I stim, why should I feel bad about it, it's painfull to not move or stim, so now I just do it...

I can understand you very well, I‘m also Audhd and since my diagnosis I started stimming a lot!

But i notice I feel much better with it so I do it more often now! Sometimes I‘m already doing it for a while and only notice quite a while later THAT I‘m doing it!

Also in my case it‘s gotten „worse“ lately:
If I don‘t stim, I get tics (eye twitching, stuttering,…). So actually it‘s better to stim because i‘m not as stressed out and don‘t get tics as much….

 

[Raggamuffin]

You're 24, whoever is saying don't bite your nails is infantalising you. You're an adult free to do as you please. Although I can understand after a stressful day that social niceties are hard to muster.

Ed

 

[Rodafina]

Sometimes, the best I can do is get myself out of that situation as soon as possible and focus all efforts on recovery.

Recovery = door closed, my comfy chair, hat pulled over my eyes, headphones on, blanket up to my nose just how I like it, and my dog beside me. After a long while of that and slow deep breaths, I can process a little bit of the day and try to soothe any leftover anxiety.

 

[Suzanne]

My husband feels embarrassed with my stimming, which consists of something like playing piano with my fingers and that is mostly when I am calm or even excited or just happy.

I tend to rub my hands viciously when at an appointment and bounce my leg up and down.

Sometimes I do rock and that is to calm myself, when I feel out of control.

I have a friend who teases me when I stim and my husband will also tease me.

 

[Xinyta]

How do you cope or react, when you know, you‘re already in an overload and some people just STRESS you out…
I had a very stressful day today at work, and before I was really tired, started stimming (biting my nails and fidgeting on a ring I have) (it was nearly time to leave)
And I just hate it when somebody says any kind of stupid (sorry) comment like „don‘t bite your nails“…
I‘m reacting quite irritably, because I don‘t have energy anymore and it‘s really not helpful, because i just try to hold it together until I‘m home…
And I‘m really really really trying to find other ways for stimming, but it‘s not always possible for me!

How do you react? Sadly it‘s some kind of thing (the stimming) the people don‘t unterstand, because the situations aren‘t big of deal for them (NT)

I really like my job and most of the time it‘s perfect, because I have a lot of routines and every day is nearly the same!
But somtimes (when they happen) comments like those just stress me out, because I already know, nobody would really unterstand how it feels…

(And yes, I already gave them a Book on Asperger Autism - they haven‘t read it till now and that was months ago)

And now I‘m straight going into a shutdown… Completely overwhelmed, tired, have no more energy and every kind of conversation, bright light indoors, sounds,… stresses me out…

You don‘t even have to react, I just wanted to put my thoughts down here…
Thanks for reading!

Honestly. As a nail biter myself. I feel your pain there. People who don't do it, don't know the comfort it brings from doing it. Or just don't understand why we do it to begin with.

Though I've gotten to the point of being a problem biter. I do it enough that my fingernails are never that long at all.

Is there a object you like, that can be used to stim? Or do you have a fidget spinner?

 

[Judge]

I've come to accept that it's highly unlikely that the first NT you encounter will understand our stimming, let alone most other aspects of autism in any meaningful way.

At least not in my country. Where so often I have the impression that few give any thought to autistic children growing up to become autistic adults.

Inevitably I just leave it at that, though in my case it's not often that I'll sway back an forth while stationary, let alone from pacing in circles in a public place.

 

[vergil96]

But somtimes (when they happen) comments like those just stress me out, because I already know, nobody would really unterstand how it feels…

Are you sure they are nice people? Nice people don't pick on others like that and don't give unwanted advice.

(And yes, I already gave them a Book on Asperger Autism - they haven‘t read it till now and that was months ago)

Did you point it out to them specifically which behaviours bother you?

You're 24, whoever is saying don't bite your nails is infantalising you. You're an adult free to do as you please. Although I can understand after a stressful day that social niceties are hard to muster.

Ed

This

 

[Cutesie]

My stimming increased a lot this year. It's finger twisting, hand flapping, rocking and occasion clapping. There's more, but you don't have to get a full rundown of every organ's movements. No one tells me to stop. Only a couple of times did a relative mention that it's annoying. People do sometimes ask me if I'm okay.

Nail biting, by the way, isn't totally innocuous. My brother does it all the time, then touches everything - including other people's food - without washing his hands.