1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Reaction to Diagnosis

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Sasha20, Jan 4, 2021.

  1. Sasha20

    Sasha20 Active Member

    Messages:
    22
    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2020
    Karma:
    +34
    Hi all
    Just wondering how ye all dealt with the news of your diagnosis . My recently diagnosed daughter has become very withdrawn , spending virtually all her time in her room , sleeping or on netflix . Her sleep has got very bad , she has sound and light issues and her sensory issues seems to have got worse since the break from school or her diagnosis . She cant spend much time in other peoples company , even her family as the noises drive her insane . She has stopped interacting on social media , which may be A good thing , im not sure ? as she masks so much , which has led to loads of missed time from school . I am leaving her in her room , bringing her food and having short engagments with her and have encouraged her to get up for small periods during the day but very gentle encouragement . I dont know if she is depressed or shutdown or both but i dont know if my approach is correct ? Will she come out of this reclusive episode herself or should i do something else ? She doesnt want to go back to school or see anyone from school as she dislikes them all. Any prespective on the situation is welcome
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  2. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    216
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2020
    Karma:
    +554
    I think we covered a fair amount of this on your other thread. However, I would like to address the issue of sleep. Upwards of 80% of autistic children appear to have disrupted sleep. As an "older" adult, I continue to have disrupted sleep. This carries over to the waking hours in all sorts of ways. Irritability, mood swings, sensory issues become exaggerated, over eating (dopamine hits), snoring, day-time sleeping (naps), high blood pressure, elevated baseline heart rate, elevated stress hormones (cortisol, ACTH), adrenal exhaustion,...it becomes a serious health issue not only mentally, but physically. More recently, I have found a sleep "cocktail" that works for me,...200mg L-theanine (glutamine blocker), 5mg melatonin (sleep aid), and 1000mg chelated magnesium (lowers heart rate and relaxes muscles). I am 230lbs/104kg,...so, for her, there may need to be some adjustment in the dosing, in terms of mg/kg. Sleep | Autism Speaks
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
  3. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    721
    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2020
    Karma:
    +1,605
    Perhaps ask if they'd want to join this forum. It can be a good outlet. Often people's mind is busiest when they are quiet and withdrawn

    Everyone will process their diagnosis differently. The spectrum affects each person in unique ways. However, there are similarities and solidarity to be found on a forum such as this. It would be beneficial if they were to investigate the spectrum at their own pace, and perhaps gain more of an understanding of the spectrum, which may help them to normalise and adjust to their newfound diagnosis.

    Ed
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2021
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Useful Useful x 2
  4. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    4,611
    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2014
    Karma:
    +7,835
    I was diagnosed as an adult a couple of year's ago now and it felt amazing at first, but then, frightening, because suddenly, there was no "pretending". I am on the spectrum and there is nothing I can do to change that and felt a bit out of control.

    As for your daughter. I agree with Raggamuffin ( fantastic user name lol) that she might do well coming here.

    Coming here is such a relief, from being in the nt ( neurotypical) world and meeting ones who say: wow, I go through the same thing, can be of huge help.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 4
  5. OkRad

    OkRad μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,570
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2013
    Karma:
    +4,693
    There are also support group for parents. Can you find one? There is no easy answer. It's clear she is seeing this as a negative and perhaps a permanent negative. When someone has a cataclysmic shift in their awareness of their very self and being, it's a bigger shock than someone looking in can know.

    Be supportive. Tell her you love her. Leave her little funny notes when you drop off food. Keep telling her you love her. Let her know there a MANY supports for youngsters. She wants to be normal. A lot of us go through that and some want that more than others. Some accept it easily and even like the dx.

    It will be a journey but I agree with @Raggamuffin Try to get her into support so she can see it can be a gift and it means she's probably gifted in many ways.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. Deepthought

    Deepthought Active Member

    Messages:
    298
    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2020
    Karma:
    +92
    In that your daughter has recently spent so much time focusing on her autistic traits and symptoms during the diagnosis process, once confirmed ~ it does tend to trigger them as the old self concept breaks down, and her autistic identity breaks through ~ which takes some getting used to.
    Maybe check 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome' book by Tony Attwood, which costs just under £20, or is available in PDF format on the following link:

    http://www.autismforthvalley.co.uk/...-The-Complete-Guide-to-Aspergers-Syndrome.pdf
    .
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Useful Useful x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  7. Sasha20

    Sasha20 Active Member

    Messages:
    22
    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2020
    Karma:
    +34
    Never thought of it as her sense of self has probably totally caved in on her. Not sure if she ready for the forum suggestion as support just yet
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  8. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

    Messages:
    341
    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2017
    Karma:
    +432
    I was only eight years old when my mother told me the psychiatrist (who had a funny name himself that also ended in "burger" told me I had Asperger's. I wanted to laugh at how funny it sounded.

    My best friends at the time in my first grade class laughed too and when we went out to play at recess, we pretended we were mice. Mice who ate pizza, French fries and hamburgers....and Asperger's. And we gathered up the gravel around the playground (my school was too cheap to fill it with sand) and pretended it was a casserole of all those things.

    I described it was a "disease" because I didn't have any better way to describe it back then. But it didn't bother me. From as young as 2, I was always being told there was something "wrong" with me. I'm also told that before I was born, people assumed there would be something "wrong" with me because my biological mother was what was refereed to in the medical literature as "mentally challenged".
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  9. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

    Messages:
    513
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2020
    Karma:
    +809
    Always known. They just gave me a name for it.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. EeveeFae

    EeveeFae Active Member

    Messages:
    8
    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2021
    Karma:
    +29
    First of all, how young is your daughter? Personally, I'm 18 and was recently diagnosed and have mostly been feeling more self-confident than I was before. I have an excuse for what my mom likes to call being rude and I like to call being honest. And for not noticing social cues and all this other stuff that was kind of always assumed that if I didn't get it right now, I would if I just thought a bit more before I spoke.
    Anyway, it generally made me feel better to find that I didn't have to participate in all the annoying and illogical social niceties that nerotypical people like. As I have asperger's, (which is basically mild autism) I can usually identify those things, even if I don't really understand why people use them.
    As for her not liking her classmates, you should ask her teachers, and then her, if it's because they're loud (and usually much more immature) or if there is some bullying or exclusion going on. If it is that their immature, try getting her into the advanced classes, if there are any, those kids are usually calmer. As for the noise, try getting her noise canceling headphones? The best option to would be the $15 ones on amazon that don't play any music or hook up to anything, they just cancel noise. And the more you can find other autistic or mentally "disabled" kids her age the better, even just the weidly calm and mature ones like I was would probably be hgood for her
     
  11. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    6,457
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2014
    Karma:
    +14,184
    I was diagnosed as an older adult and I felt relieved, because I finally had an explanation for many of the difficulties in my life. If I had been diagnosed as a child, I might have reacted differently, though - might have reacted against it.

    How your daughter will cope or react, I can't say, as I don't know her. Each person is different. What I do know is that there are quite a few people here in a similar position, who found it hard to accept their diagnosis as a child, but then came to accept it later, finding coping mechanisms for their difficulties. Different people react, and then cope in different ways.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2021
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  12. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,647
    Joined:
    May 22, 2017
    Karma:
    +6,672
    I was diagnosed in my fifties and it didn't really depress me.
    It just helped me understand why I was different in many ways all
    my life and now I had a name for the reasons I had a difficulty time
    growing up.

    Staying in my room and sleeping or being on the computer and not wanting to go places, in my case, was depression.
    I'm rather in that mood again due to issues in my life.
    The best thing I found that helps is relaxation tapes and making goals.
    I may not want to get up or go do something, but, at the very least I've
    found making a chosen goal of doing even just one thing accomplishes
    something.

    Being overwhelmed or giving into the staying in the room can lead to
    it completely taking over. That ended me up in a psych ward because
    I quite eating.
    Just try to not let it get that far and know many of us just want that
    alone time and do not want to socialize.
    I never felt guilty for not being social. You can make it your own way in life.
    Get help if problems like anxiety or depression keep you down.

    And welcome here!