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Questioning if I never had Conduct Disorder Unspecified, but has Bipolar Disorder all my life

O

Oz67

Well-Known Member
What if I don't have Conduct Disorder Unspecified, but it was actually Bipolar Disorder that was not diagnosed until age 15?

I realize and anylyzed my whole childhood and found out that, I had some antisocial traits and then those traits disappeared, and cried for no reason, and that cycles repeatedly and feels chronic. I also had severe hallucinations of imaginary friends. I had anosognosia until I was 13 years old, and that is when I found out that I developed traits of Cyclothymic Disorder.

At the age of 13, I became from too happy to having anger problems and arguing with coaches in sports club, had mild delusion of granduer and thought I was always right.

My symptoms of Cyclothymic Disorder without treatment turned into profound mania, and profound depression and severe delusions of paranoid and grandiose in nature, and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder with psychotic features in ICD-10. As soon I started taking medications, I went from profound mania and profound depression to having symptoms of Cyclothymic Disorder and it became fixed, and stable.
 
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I bet you can talk circles around your MD.

You probably know yourself better than some trained doctors. However you can't simply tell them their job. That would be grandiose. It might be better to ask if this happened as a result of that. The grandiose does taper off the older you get in bipolar for some individuals.

I have some experience in living with a bipolar who suffered from grandiose idealization.

What do they suggest for you regarding this? Can therapy help with grandiose thoughts? Are you able to understand when you start going down this path? I never mentioned it to my spouse. I do recognize it quicker now. It has tapered down but they are a senior citizen.

I understand if you do not wish to talk about this. We all face some type of stigma and this forum is a safe place to discuss and compare notes on just getting thru our days and feeling better about ourselves. :)
 
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With respect,...you seem to be spending a lot of time thinking and questioning about what specific kind of mental health issues you may/may not have. On one hand, it is often helpful to understand oneself,...being self-aware,...putting your thoughts and actions within some context and perspective. On the other hand,...the past several weeks of posts on here, you seem to be in a "stereotypical" autistic repetitive thought pattern where you are highly focused upon it,...perhaps,...maybe at the expense of other important things in your life. Just an observation.
 
Aspychata said:
I bet you can talk circles around your MD.

You probably know yourself better than some trained doctors. However you can't simply tell them their job. That would be grandiose. It might be better to ask if this happened as a result of that. The grandiose does taper off the older you get in bipolar for some individuals.

I have some experience in living with a bipolar who suffered from grandiose idealization.

What do they suggest for you regarding this? Can therapy help with grandiose thoughts? Are you able to understand when you start going down this path? I never mentioned it to my spouse. I do recognize it quicker now. It has tapered down but they are a senior citizen.

I understand if you do not wish to talk about this. We all face some type of stigma and this forum is a safe place to discuss and compare notes on just getting thru our days and feeling better about ourselves. :)
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Of course! I will ask the doctor about my childhood to see if I am correct.
 
Neonatal RRT said:
With respect,...you seem to be spending a lot of time thinking and questioning about what specific kind of mental health issues you may/may not have. On one hand, it is often helpful to understand oneself,...being self-aware,...putting your thoughts and actions within some context and perspective. On the other hand,...the past several weeks of posts on here, you seem to be in a "stereotypical" autistic repetitive thought pattern where you are highly focused upon it,...perhaps,...maybe at the expense of other important things in your life. Just an observation.
Click to expand...

I had burn out from masking too much. I am sorry about that.
 
Quit apologizing. Right now you suoer-focused on getting to the bottom of who and what you are. It's just that we aren't medical professionals and your questions are important, but l haven't been in school 8 years and can't even walk in your shoes. The system is now tailored to get you in and get you out. Your doctor may have 25 mins or less for his scheduled appointments. And psychiatrists are in high demand these days. So l understand if you are frustrated with medical provider. But l am truly grateful that your family has been so responsive in taking care of you. If you did something that you shouldn't do, you would hurt them terribly, they obviously care about you. So perhaps think of them and trying to be the best you can be which means positive thoughts and reach out for help the minute you feel out of control. Let someone know immediately. This would be a parent, police or even better - a medical professional.

Don't stress. You wish to talk about things that are important. And you probably will find something else important. It's okay to go read medical journals. They actually are very interesting. You might enjoy reading texts on psychology. Alot of psychologists and psychiatrists started out like you. Want to know more about themselves, then it became their profession. I was talking a orthopedic surgeon recently, it took breaking something in his foot that steered him into his profession. He was quite young at the time it happened.

So prioritize what questions you want answered and realize your MD may not be able to answer everything. Be respectful of their time. Good luck on next appointment. Maybe ask your doctor what resources he recommends and this shows you are taking charge of your healing.
 
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Aspychata said:
Quit apologizing. Right now you suoer-focused on getting to the bottom of who and what you are. It's just that we aren't medical professionals and your questions are important, but l haven't been in school 8 years and can't even walk in your shoes. The system is now tailored to get you in and get you out. Your doctor may have 25 mins or less for his scheduled appointments. And psychiatrists are in high demand these days. So l understand if you are frustrated with medical provider. But l am truly grateful that your family has been so responsive in taking care of you. If you did something that you shouldn't do, you would hurt them terribly, they obviously care about you. So perhaps think of them and trying to be the best you can be which means positive thoughts and reach out for help the minute you feel out of control. Let someone know immediately. This would be a parent, police or even better - a medical professional.

Don't stress. You wish to talk about things that are important. And you probably will find something else important. It's okay to go read medical journals. They actually are very interesting. You might enjoy reading texts on psychology. Alot of psychologists and psychiatrists started out like you. Want to know more about themselves, then it became their profession. I was talking a orthopedic surgeon recently, it took breaking something in his foot that steered him into his profession. He was quite young at the time it happened.
Click to expand...

I am sorry, for keeping apologizing. Jokes aside, I am too apologetic, what should I say instead?
 
Aspychata said:
Quit apologizing. Right now you suoer-focused on getting to the bottom of who and what you are. It's just that we aren't medical professionals and your questions are important, but l haven't been in school 8 years and can't even walk in your shoes. The system is now tailored to get you in and get you out. Your doctor may have 25 mins or less for his scheduled appointments. And psychiatrists are in high demand these days. So l understand if you are frustrated with medical provider. But l am truly grateful that your family has been so responsive in taking care of you. If you did something that you shouldn't do, you would hurt them terribly, they obviously care about you. So perhaps think of them and trying to be the best you can be which means positive thoughts and reach out for help the minute you feel out of control. Let someone know immediately. This would be a parent, police or even better - a medical professional.

Don't stress. You wish to talk about things that are important. And you probably will find something else important. It's okay to go read medical journals. They actually are very interesting. You might enjoy reading texts on psychology. Alot of psychologists and psychiatrists started out like you. Want to know more about themselves, then it became their profession. I was talking a orthopedic surgeon recently, it took breaking something in his foot that steered him into his profession. He was quite young at the time it happened.

So prioritize what questions you want answered and realize you MD may not be able to answer everything. Be respectful of their time. Good luck on next appointment. Maybe ask your doctor what resources he recommends and this shows you are taking charge of your healing.
Click to expand...

I am not frustrated at anything, I am just a carious man based on my restricted interest about it.
 
You don't need to apologize. You are just you. You are curious and very articulate. And you enjoy being a critical thinker. Don't label yourself, just try to understand yourself better, this helps you make better choices regard your personal health.
 
Aspychata said:
You don't need to apologize. You are just you. You are curious and very articulate. And you enjoy being a critical thinker. Don't label yourself, just try to understand yourself better, this helps you make better choices regard your personal health.
Click to expand...

Hey man, thanks!
 
Neonatal RRT said:
you seem to be in a "stereotypical" autistic repetitive thought pattern where you are highly focused upon it,...perhaps,...maybe at the expense of other important things in your life.
Click to expand...
Damn, Doc! That is me at my worst, when in my mid 20s. I feel now that I must have been mentally ill. It only took an unexpected friendship with an old time hippie couple who accepted me and made me feel that I had worth, to start my healing.
 
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