Puns

[Joshua the Writer]

You read the title. Go nuts.

To start us off:

 

[Crossbreed]

The Meta-Pun...
A man sent ten entries into a local pun writing contest.

He hoped that, at least, one of them would win, but, alas, no pun in ten did...

 

[invisibility003]

I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig... It's not a beautiful poem but it's very deep.

 

[FreeDiver]

Hopefully, we will be able to take all this punishment!! So I will start dishing it out.

 

[Progster]

There's no point in sharpening your pencil.

 

[Nauti]

Very punny!

I think it's more pointless to try to sharpen a pen!

It's a punny pen pun with less of a point than the pencil pun.

No more point to it than that.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Very punny!

I think it's more pointless to try to sharpen a pen!

It's a punny pen pun with less of a point than the pencil pun.

No more point to it than that.

No. Just no.

 

[AGXStarseed]

There's no point in sharpening your pencil.

Speaking of pencils, I heard 1000 pencils were stolen last night.
Police believe the crime was pointless.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Speaking of pencils, I heard 1000 pencils were stolen last night.
Police believe the crime was pointless.

That pun was even worse than @Nauti's pun.

 

[inkfingers]

If someone is looking for someone else, I say, "They appear to have vanished." Or, "They appear to have disappeared." Get it?!?

 

[Joshua the Writer]

If someone is looking for someone else, I say, "They appear to have vanished." Or, "They appear to have disappeared." Get it?!?

No. Because it was bad.

I now just realized this thread just became a competition on who can make the worst pun. Sorry not sorry.

 

[inkfingers]

No. Because it was bad.

I now just realized this thread just became a competition on who can make the worst pun. Sorry not sorry.

I'm trying to think of a punny response to what you wrote...

 

[Nauti]

There are worse ways to make a punnier day than today.

Just sayin'

 

[Jojo_LB]

A few months ago, one night, I was mindlessly fidgeting with my daughter's bendable Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer figurine, no doubt in the middle of trying to get something productive done, but as usual, I was messing about when I was supposed to be working. Anyway, it was fun 'cause it's bendable and whatever and I started to make it cling on to objects, like my phone, a cup, a book, etc. Then I made it cling to the edge of my bedside table, and I said to my daughter, "Hey, look, Rudolph is hanging on for dear life!"

I started laughing hysterically. She laughed too, but when she was done and I was still laughing like it was the funniest thing I had ever heard, she just stared at me like I had some serious issues. She started laughing again, but only because she was laughing at me. I left it there and called my husband over so I could show him and repeat what I said. He did laugh, but also couldn't understand why I was laughing so hard at it.

You had to be there. I thought it was brilliant lmao

 

[Nauti]

Ooo ooo I just thought of one ...

"You look flash" said the thunder bolt to the lightening strike.

It was a stormy date.

 

[Nauti]

I should be sleeping, coz it's 2.15 but this is way more pun.

 

[Nauti]

Put the pun down, Nauti, just put the pun down!!!
I'm just shooting my mouth off now (or am I'm shooting myself in the foot?).

It's a long shot, but I'll take the latter.

Shoot, this is getting worse and worse!

 

[GrownupGirl]

I tried to be a doctor once, but I didn't enough patients.

Then I tried to open up a bakery, but I didn't have the dough.

Then I got a job cleaning out backyard pools. It started out swimmingly, but then it got too draining.

And then finally I tried making clocks for a living, but I just didn't have the time.

 

[tlc]

I spent all day installing a new catalytic converter, pipes, and muffler on my car. I cleaned up and went to bed early, I was exhausted.

 

[AGXStarseed]

Jafar lets off a few puns here: