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Puns

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Joshua Aaron, May 17, 2019.

  1. Joshua Aaron

    Joshua Aaron Just a Professional Weirdo w/Autism and ADHD

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    You read the title. Go nuts.

    To start us off:
    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 3
  2. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    The Meta-Pun...
    A man sent ten entries into a local pun writing contest.

    He hoped that, at least, one of them would win, but, alas, no pun in ten did... [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2019
    • Funny Funny x 12
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  3. invisibility003

    invisibility003 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig... It's not a beautiful poem but it's very deep.
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
  4. FreeDiver

    FreeDiver How long can you hold your breath? V.I.P Member

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    Hopefully, we will be able to take all this punishment!! So I will start dishing it out.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2019
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  5. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    There's no point in sharpening your pencil.
     
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  6. Nauti

    Nauti Well-Known Member

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    Very punny!

    I think it's more pointless to try to sharpen a pen!

    It's a punny pen pun with less of a point than the pencil pun.

    No more point to it than that.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
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  7. Joshua Aaron

    Joshua Aaron Just a Professional Weirdo w/Autism and ADHD

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    No. Just no.
     
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  8. AGXStarseed

    AGXStarseed Well-Known Member

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    Speaking of pencils, I heard 1000 pencils were stolen last night.
    Police believe the crime was pointless.
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  9. Joshua Aaron

    Joshua Aaron Just a Professional Weirdo w/Autism and ADHD

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    That pun was even worse than @Nauti's pun.
     
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  10. inkfingers

    inkfingers 19 year old Aspie artist and Jesus follower

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    If someone is looking for someone else, I say, "They appear to have vanished." Or, "They appear to have disappeared." Get it?!?
     
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  11. Joshua Aaron

    Joshua Aaron Just a Professional Weirdo w/Autism and ADHD

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    No. Because it was bad.

    I now just realized this thread just became a competition on who can make the worst pun. Sorry not sorry.
     
    • Like Like x 1
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  12. inkfingers

    inkfingers 19 year old Aspie artist and Jesus follower

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    I'm trying to think of a punny response to what you wrote...
     
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  13. Nauti

    Nauti Well-Known Member

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    There are worse ways to make a punnier day than today.

    Just sayin'
     
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  14. Jojo_LB

    Jojo_LB Brilliant Enigma V.I.P Member

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    A few months ago, one night, I was mindlessly fidgeting with my daughter's bendable Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer figurine, no doubt in the middle of trying to get something productive done, but as usual, I was messing about when I was supposed to be working. Anyway, it was fun 'cause it's bendable and whatever and I started to make it cling on to objects, like my phone, a cup, a book, etc. Then I made it cling to the edge of my bedside table, and I said to my daughter, "Hey, look, Rudolph is hanging on for dear life!"

    I started laughing hysterically. She laughed too, but when she was done and I was still laughing like it was the funniest thing I had ever heard, she just stared at me like I had some serious issues. She started laughing again, but only because she was laughing at me. I left it there and called my husband over so I could show him and repeat what I said. He did laugh, but also couldn't understand why I was laughing so hard at it.

    You had to be there. I thought it was brilliant lmao
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  15. Nauti

    Nauti Well-Known Member

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    Ooo ooo I just thought of one ...:)

    "You look flash" said the thunder bolt to the lightening strike.

    It was a stormy date.
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  16. Nauti

    Nauti Well-Known Member

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    I should be sleeping, coz it's 2.15 but this is way more pun.:)
     
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  17. Nauti

    Nauti Well-Known Member

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    Put the pun down, Nauti, just put the pun down!!!
    I'm just shooting my mouth off now (or am I'm shooting myself in the foot?).

    It's a long shot, but I'll take the latter.

    Shoot, this is getting worse and worse!
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  18. GrownupGirl

    GrownupGirl Tempermental Artist

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    I tried to be a doctor once, but I didn't enough patients.:mask:

    Then I tried to open up a bakery, but I didn't have the dough.

    Then I got a job cleaning out backyard pools. It started out swimmingly, but then it got too draining.:sweat:

    And then finally I tried making clocks for a living, but I just didn't have the time.
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
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  19. tlc

    tlc The Mackinac Bridge and U.P. is my happy place.

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    I spent all day installing a new catalytic converter, pipes, and muffler on my car. I cleaned up and went to bed early, I was exhausted.
     
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  20. AGXStarseed

    AGXStarseed Well-Known Member

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    Jafar lets off a few puns here:

     
    • Like Like x 3