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Public toilets

Discussion in 'Parenting & Autism Discussions' started by Cazelle, Jul 23, 2019.

  1. Cazelle

    Cazelle Well-Known Member

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    My ASD son is currently 7 years old and still uses the women's toilets when we are out and about. While he is pretty much independent with toileting, I worry about him using public toilets I can't access (ie men's) because he can easily get distracted and doesn't always know what to do if something unexpected happens, such as running out of toilet paper. If this happens, he may just wait until someone comes to help him.

    I am aware that at around age 7-8 most children would be using the gender appropriate toilets. At what age did parents here allow their child to use public toilets completely independently?
     
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  2. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    As soon as they understood the reason why boys use the Gents and girls use the Ladies.

    I wasn't comfortable with the situation at all.
    I spent alot of my time waiting outside the Gents, fretting over my own young son.

    I also had a rough idea of how long my children could spent on their ablutions at home, when all was as it should be.

    Anything over that in a public toilet and I would check all was okay in there.

    - by opening the outside door slightly and calling in to ask if he was okay,

    not just walking into the Gents toilets to check :)
     
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  3. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    That sounds pretty reasonable under such circumstances given the OP's concerns.
     
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  4. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    I've never liked public toilets and always use a cubicle even now. As to age - as soon as I was old enough to understand gender roles I had to use appropriate facilities.
     
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  5. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    Don't know what it is like in most of the world, but, here in Florida, the past several years have
    seen the popularity of a family or a combination gender creation of public toilets.
    The splitting of the sexes has become mainly a matter of choice where ever you go now.
     
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  6. Cazelle

    Cazelle Well-Known Member

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    I'm in New Zealand and while unisex toilets are becoming more common, there are still plenty of places like shopping malls where there are men's and women's toilets. I do sometimes take him into the disabled persons' toilet when available.

    Thank you for all your replies :). I think I am destined to be that strange woman lurking just outside the men's toilets for the foreseeable future!
     
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  7. GrownupGirl

    GrownupGirl Tempermental Artist

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    I'm female and naturally so is my mother who usually took me out most places, so gender wasn't usually an issue. It was my absolute terror of most public bathrooms that was the issue.:sweatsmile:
    I've seen a "family bathroom" at the mall, along with the male and female ones.
     
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  8. Mary Terry

    Mary Terry Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I started allowing my son to use the men's bathroom alone when he was about 6 years old. I, too, lurked outside the door, listening for anything amiss, and looking at men who entered the bathroom so I could describe their features if something went "wrong" in there. If he spent more time than I thought was needed, I would knock on the door and kind of yell "hey, everything okay in there?" to alert him to the fact that he was taking a long time and to send the message to any perverts in there that a mean mama bear was standing right outside the door.
     
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  9. Schism

    Schism New Member

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    The western world is getting used to''gender neutral " loos now. In the east, it's always been a hole in the floor. I wouldn't stress too much therefore. Go where you need to & feel safe with your children. They don't care. Honestly, they don't. We need to be more like them sometimes. I would rather pee in the woods than a chemical, overused public loo. Hate them.
     
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  10. Wren

    Wren New Member

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    I thought this thread was going to be about those auto-flush toilets. My six-year-old grandson has recently regressed badly in toilet training after being reasonably well trained for two years—he couldn’t tell us he needed to go, but if there was a toilet, he could take himself there and use it. Trips out tended to be a tour of bathrooms because we couldn’t tell if he needed to go or not. The backsliding seemed to start with a fear of auto-flush toilets in public restrooms (also hand dryers), moved on to not wanting to sit on toilets at home, and now he doesn’t want to have anything to do with toilets.
     
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  11. Cazelle

    Cazelle Well-Known Member

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    Wren, that sounds very frustrating!