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Psychiatrists think I'm "too warm" to be on the spectrum, do you guys think that's a thing, valid?

Discussion in 'Autism Science Discussions' started by Nauti, Dec 4, 2018.

  1. Nauti

    Nauti Well-Known Member

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    So, apparently, because I'm suffered a lot of trauma and neglect, from very young, all the things I'm struggling with can be attributed to that early and ongoing trauma stuff.

    However, my Dad is as Aspie as they come and I fit all the particulars of the female characteristics of HFA, but I've worked extremely intensely to mask and develop myself, so theses two trauma specialist psychiatrists think I might have Dissociative Identity Disorder (I wouldn't have thought that, DD NOS, maybe but not DID) and that I'm "too warm" to be an Aspie/HFA.

    I have a son with low functioning Autism as well.

    I've been.told in.the past that I have "too much empathy" to be on the spectrum, but we now know that is bollocks. So what do you guys think about the "too warm"?

    I am a caring person, that's my personality, but can just as easily be distant and socially avoidant, the problem is, people with a history of developmental trauma are often like that.

    So the co-morbidity of PTSD or complex-ptsd is very hard to separate out of what might (and I believe is) HFA.

    Any thoughts?
     
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  2. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Many females and males on this website are kind, friendly, caring people in their own way. Females on the spectrum differ from males on the spectrum. Were raised differently, socialized from an early age. It seems that your psychiatrist might be applying too narrow guidelines.

    Rather than argue with her diagnosis, it might be better to find someone with more specialization in autism in adult's, if that's possible. That way you'll have the proper tests for diagnosis.

    Females are forever being diagnosed as bi-polar or with ADHD, OCD, unipolar depression, eating disorders. While not always paying attention to the underlying factors of autism in females. PTSD can be co-morbid with autism, it can also be as a result of underlying or early trauma, yet so can bi-polar disorder.

    Recently read an article on Austism in girls, which indicated that they are often misdiagnosed, still. Autism--It's Different in Girls Wish you luck Nauti in finding out and getting to the crux of your difficulties.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2018
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  3. Adora

    Adora Well-Known Member

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    While I don’t know this psychiatrist it seems they have a very narrow view of what being on the spectrum is,I also grew up in a dysfunctional home where I had a lot of mental and emotional abuse happening and even so the psychologist I went to see was able to recognise that I was on the spectrum and also have the comorbid of complex ptsd as well,as for being too warm you can be a warm and even empathic person and still be on the spectrum,also women can look different than guys on the spectrum and if a professional isn’t up to date to this representation than many girls and women will be misdiagnosed with multiple mental illnesses like the one I was misdiagnosed before schizoaffective disorder.
     
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  4. Sara3

    Sara3 Well-Known Member

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    It is unfair to think we can't be warm, that is simply not the truth. It is like a harmful stereotype. There is not just one way to be warm. I found very few people in my city know about autism, including psychologists. What I did was to get a serious professional who knows about ASD, it took a long time but I finally found him and got my level 1 ASD diagnosis, which is accurate because it allowed me to identify all my problems and issues.
    Please, don't be discouraged by your psychiatrists thoughts, there is always a second, third opinion. The important thing is that whatever diagnosis you get, you feel it leads to improve your life and helps you overcome difficulties.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2018
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  5. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

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    Too much empathy?!??!! Too WARM to be autistic?!!??!?!
    What a load of utter balalaikas!!!
    It's sad that there are so called specialists in the field who still are so ignorant of the true diversity of the spectrum. My wife describes me as the warmest and most empathic man she's been close to and yet there's never been any doubt about my being on the spectrum. In some ways I'm very close to the diagnostic criteria but all of us diverge to some degree. Women on the spectrum in particular are known to often have emotional qualities and expression which is more functional than their male equivalents but still share many of the other characteristics.
    Obviously I don't know you personally so I can't make a judgement as to your autism, but I can say without doubt - that specialist needs to pull his head out of his.... books and get up to date on autism before making such ill informed statements.
     
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  6. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It is almost a case of semantics. Do you define the condition with an overall title of break it down into separate symptom conditions?
     
  7. the_tortoise

    the_tortoise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    What's that saying....when you only have a hammer everything looks like a nail? Trauma specialists will pick up on trauma. If they don't know a lot about autism, they won't be as likely to pick up on it.

    I'd say lots of autistics can be described as "warm". Some are able to show it in socially expected/acceptable ways, some are only able to show it in unexpected/unusual ways, some can't show it at all but the feelings are still there. Not all autistic people are warm....but being warm doesn't mean you aren't autistic.
     
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  8. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Next time they say you are 'too warm', tell the shrinks you think them too gelatinous concerning autism. I don't know what that means but it should get their brains spinning.
     
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  9. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    No.
     
  10. TheFreeCat

    TheFreeCat Active Member

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    Shrinks have taken certain gender traits and have used them to exclude people (women) from the diagnosis because it was originally a male disorder.
     
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  11. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    I've been called friendly more than once. To me, every case of Autism is different. We're are friendly, we just show it in different ways.
     
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  12. Nauti

    Nauti Well-Known Member

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    Yes! It's taken me years to learn to be as socially graceful as I am today and sometimes, I know I don't come off that way. Plenty.
    The route I had to take, I believe, is somewhat different to how neurotypical women learn, though.
    I had a breakthrough at about 10, when I had the chance to do drama at school. The idea that I could pretend to be someone else, gave me an opportunity to "come out" of myself.

    Prior to that, school and general socializing had been utterly excruciating and I handled it by being extremely quiet and, in general, a nerdy, book-read-y loner.

    Luckily, I did get support to attend some extra curricullar drama classes too, which I attended, when I could, into my mid teens.

    The parental support was still very lacking and I ended up a homeless, wandering teen at sixteen. At that stage, I was in a very not well state and bad treatment after bad treatment and more neglect and severe exploitation ensured.

    I did get the chance to branch into music, as a back up singer in a band though, and despite the utterly excruciating nature of it, for many, many years, I persevered and became a "good" performer, eventually gaining the courage and know-how to try lead singing and even speaking to the audience!

    So that's how I built my social confidence.

    I think I've always been kind and caring towards others, but when one is anxious (which, as we all know, we are prone to social anxiety) it's harder to convey that friendliness to other's.

    I told the psychiatrist " Well, I've done a good job faking it, haven't I?"

    She didn't think I was faking it, but what she doesn't seem to understand is that I did fake and perform, for years, so that I can now look as socially comfortable as I now am, in my mid forties.

    In actual fact, I'm still not someone who finds socializing easy, at all, but all those performance skills seem to be able to mask that, at least some of the time.

    What is also helping me, is having my own special person, another Aspie, my partner, who I can be myself with, so I can practice being socially free and easy with him, and then branch out and build relationships with other's.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2018
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  13. MrSpock

    MrSpock Live long and prosper

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    That sounds very logical to me, but I don't see that it would contra-indicate HFA, and being warm certainly doesn't!

    This has been a moving thread to read. You seem a very brave person who has had to fight hard, and who is doing okay. Thank you so much for sharing.
     
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  14. LadyBird84

    LadyBird84 Well-Known Member It's My Birthday!

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    Bollocks. For years in therapy I've been told that I must not look people in the eye because I don't trust them and didn't like loud sounds because of bad experiences.. Basically all my autism related symptoms were attributed to PTSD in some way. I'm not saying I didn't have PTSD but there's a difference between flashbacks and autism.

    Also, why can't people with autism have a warm personality?!
     
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  15. tlc

    tlc The Mackinac Bridge and U.P. is my happy place.

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    People can act warm in different ways. People can also perceive warm in different ways. I try to treat everyone well. Some people can figure out when I'm being caring and considerate, and others think I'm cold as a stone. For example I'm good at fixing cars and intuitive with their issues so I often do that for people who are important to me. Like if I go out of my way to fix my mate's car so she can get to work the next day without problems because I can forsee issues. Some think I'm being warm, caring, and considerate which is accurate. Other's think I'm just screwing around to feed my own interests at her expense, and potentially screwing up her ability to get to work. Or for the same conversation, some can read my face and know what I'm trying to express. Others say I'm being manipulative.
     
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