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Problems with relationships?

Caelix3

Caelix3

Well-Known Member
I tend to have problems maintaining a relationship. It either turns out to be toxic or the other person is too sexual. I identify as Panromantic asexual. I find it hard to have a relationship when most people are sexual and want sex. While I don't. It also doesn't help that my autism, causes me to be bad at socializing.

My ex always wanted to sexually roleplay. I did it at first for her, but eventually I got way too uncomfortable and annoyed with it. When I told her I couldn't do it because it made me uncomfortable, she said: "I'm sorry but I need it.". So I broke up with her. Later on, I found out that she has an addiction to sex, which I did not know at the time. This was a long distance relationship. We lived in the same state, but too far away from each other in terms of location.

I felt invalidated because she was like "I'm sorry but I need it."

I feel like if you need sex every single day, then you have a problem. I was not willing to do something I wasn't comfortable doing, just to please my partner. I'm sorry I'm just really frustrated and annoyed. It is lonely living in a world which is sexual, while I am not.

I feel like I shouldn't have to do something, I'm not comfortable doing. So as you can see, it is hard for me to find a relationship that doesn't involve sex or anything sexual.
 
I had a relationship with someone once put a lot of pressure for sex. It not that I hate sex, but she did made me feel very horrible. The following relationship the person was more understanding with me. Her patience allow one day to have a good time compare to the previous person being too demanding didn't make things good at all.
 
Caelix3 said:
I feel like if you need sex every single day, then you have a problem.
Click to expand...

Well, lots of people want sex every single day (or more often than that) and they are normal -- they don't have a problem, just a high libido.

If someone truly needs sex every day (like they can't function in the world otherwise, are too distressed to do/think about anything else, masturbation doesn't work as a substitute) then I agree, that's a problem.

Caelix3 said:
I feel like I shouldn't have to do something, I'm not comfortable doing.
Click to expand...

I agree.

Have you tried dating sites for asexuals? Maybe there are in-person groups for asexual people to meet up, too. I would do an internet search, if either of those things are something you think might help you find a partner who wouldn't want or need sex to be a part of the relationship.
 
I don't think its fair to say "if you need sex every single day, then you have a problem". Some people like to get some everyday, and thats totally normal and OK, just like its totally normal and OK that you don't.

Everyone has different desires, needs etc. You and that person weren't compatible sexually... There'll be someone who you are compatible with... and think of it this way, at least when that right person comes along, you'll know its because of YOU, not sex :)
 
I was asexual for a very long time. Then I reached a point where I began to change and am now sexual. But I have a very great understanding of people who are asexual because it is an orientation and needs to be understood and respected by potential partners. I used to post on a support network called AVEN.org, but the website seems to be down. You might check it out when it is up and running again.
 
garnetflower13 said:
I was asexual for a very long time. Then I reached a point where I began to change and am now sexual. But I have a very great understanding of people who are asexual because it is an orientation and needs to be understood and respected by potential partners. I used to post on a support network called AVEN.org, but the website seems to be down. You might check it out when it is up and running again.
Click to expand...
I tried joining AVEN but I would never get the verification email. Even when I tried changing emails too.
 
Had to resign up because apparently my old account no longer existed. I finally got the verification email! :D
 
the_tortoise said:
Well, lots of people want sex every single day (or more often than that) and they are normal -- they don't have a problem, just a high libido.

If someone truly needs sex every day (like they can't function in the world otherwise, are too distressed to do/think about anything else, masturbation doesn't work as a substitute) then I agree, that's a problem.



I agree.

Have you tried dating sites for asexuals? Maybe there are in-person groups for asexual people to meet up, too. I would do an internet search, if either of those things are something you think might help you find a partner who wouldn't want or need sex to be a part of the relationship.
Click to expand...
I just joined an asexual forum and they had links to asexual dating sites. I joined two of the asexual dating sites, may join a third one too! Hopefully I have some luck!
 
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