The hard part is trying to figure out what to say to the woman. What I don't understand is why some of these women who might be interested in me don't contact me first.
It is not the natural biological way of things for the women to make the first move. It may be off putting at first but it is something you will have to come peace with and accept as "just the way things work." Think to high school if a girl likes a boy. She will not make any more about it. She will drop hints, mildly flirt...etc to try and get his attention and clue him in to do something about it.
Now sometimes women will make contact on dating sites. This is usually because they are very undesirable and men are not contacting them. This consists of single moms, which may not be fair but being a single mom sharply reduces a woman's dating value. Though it is probably the same for men. This also consists of women who are also very physically unattractive, (ugly, shaped like jabba the hut, looks like a man...etc), or are getting rather old. Personally if I were a single dad, I would have no problem going for a single mom. I have seen some that are beautiful.
Don't worry so much about what to say. I usually try for something light hearted and humorous, maybe cheesy, based on their profile, and I am getting better than a 20% response rate I would say. I actually sent 2 messages Thursday night and started 2 conversations. That made a 100% hit rate for that evening,
. Both have sent me more messages today (Saturday).
Examples
Maybe the girl is a nurse
"As a nurse, would you be qualified to put band aids on my cuts? Because I can't stand the sight of my blood"
To a girl who really likes camping
"You like to go camping? How challenging do you like to make it? Camp grounds? Backwoods? Ever talk to squirrels, or maybe try to ride a grizzly bear like a rodeo animal? "
Here is one I used on a girl who likes baking (she said she needed a guinea pig to test her baking).
"A guinea pig for treats? Well I don't know about "guinea pig" but some call me a magpie for my opportunistic scavenging of treats
You might even go as far as to say I have a theoretical degree in treat...tasting. What sort of things do you like to bake?
And so forth. Pick something you know and shoot for it. You have to realize that it's going to fail more often than not. Don't get too tied up in it. Think of it like you are taking an antique rifle to a rifle range. It won't be able to hit a target most of the time, but it's still good fun shooting it.
I'm at a point where finding contacts is not too difficult. Getting a date is hard but not the end of the world. I am stuck at the trying to make a connection and establish anything beyond a date or a few dates, into starting a relationship. However I have come a damn long way. A year ago I couldn't imagine how I would even ever again so much as get a single date in my life time. You know, without reducing myself to going with a jabba the hut doppelganger.
I'll make a fun game of this and a challenge to joe2006.
A hypothetical girl who loves fantasy books (especially "The Lord of The Rings"), cooking, and she works as a receptionist for an insurance company. In one of her pictures she is water skiing. In another picture she is playing frisbee with a dog...
Now, I challenge joe 2006 to write this fictional girl a contact message here. 2-4 sentences is all that's needed.
