Post random stories about yourself here

[UberScout]

It doesn't have to be sensitive information or anything embarrassing, unless you're not afraid to reveal something like that.

But you know, I just thought if anyone feels like socializing, then this would be a nice place to do it. If there's already a thread like this, please let me know so I can edit this one accordingly.

Once when we were still struggling with living arrangements after our house got termites, my stepfather gave me an important errand; I was supposed to ride with them to the government office to let them know our address was about to change, and for some reason I had to be the one to do it, I don't remember why exactly. So I go there, I sign in, grab my waiting ticket, and I sit down. An hour or so passes before I am called up. So I go up to the window and I let them know what went on, I inform them about how we had recently found like three nests of termites eating our house away and part of the wall in our kitchen already had two holes in it and what that would lead to, so on so forth. The guy is confused for a second and he's like "Termites? Where do you even live?" I had to explain to him, the dumb idiot he was, that we lived in a very wooded area that was just across from the outskirts of town, and people were saying it was renowned for having a lot of different pests in that area, eg. hornets, wasps, roaches and of course, in our case termites. I told him we had to move as soon as possible because we didn't want anyone getting hurt from, say, the ceiling caving in or something. Finally a light bulb goes off in his head and he actually understands, and then he asks me where we are going to relocate, and I gave him the first address I remembered. He stamps a few things, asks me to sign another thing, and then he confirms that everything's set, and sends me away. Back on the bus ride to the room I let my mother and stepfather know how it went after they asked me, and told them what address I gave them...

...and then my stepfather tells me that the address I gave was the one for the local post office. I couldn't have felt more stupid. They weren't even mad, they just doubled over in laughter, as well as myself. To be fair, I'm not usually expected to remember things like that, given that I practically live a teenager's life, but it's still kind of my fault.

 

[Pats]

When I was married to my second husband (the gay con artist that was the love of my life ) he never ate anything I cooked. He cooked and he used garlic on everything - scrambled eggs, turkey, you name it (except desserts). My cooking is a bit bland, so that could be why. Anyhow, he had come to visit (after our divorce we still got along good) and he was coming to dinner and would actually be eating what I cooked, so it was a big deal for me. I made chicken pot pie from scratch, including the crust. I had run out of flour but found another container with more flour that I finished with. As we're eating - it was good, but the crust was really sup sweet and I finally realized that the last bit of flour I had used was confectioners sugar. Darn it - the one time he ate my cooking. LOL

 

[Nervous Rex]

When I was twelve years old, I was shopping with my step-mother and she wanted to look at a fabric store. I was totally bored there, so I stood in the window facing the sidewalk and pretended to be a mannequin. Two smaller boys (I'm guessing 10 or younger) walked by on the sidewalk, less than 3 feet way from me. I remained motionless, but tracked them with my head. One of them caught the motion out of the corner of his eye and screamed. He started running and ran into the other kid in front of him, who also screamed and started running. I fell to the floor laughing.

My step-mother heard the screams and I told her what happened. She rolled her eyes and made some comment that I don't remember. I thought that what I had done was "bad", because I thought that any time adults disapproved, it's because I was "bad".

I had told my kids the story a few times so they decided they wanted to try it, too. We were at a small shoe store in the mall - we got shoes for our two older kids and were just trying to find some for our youngest. So the two older kids, both preteens, stood in the store window and played mannequin. I got to watch all the different reactions of surprise, bemusement, etc., from all the passersby. One lady even stopped and pointed it out to her toddler, who stared wide-eyed and mouth open when she realized the mannequins were real people. It was so much fun to see.

Seeing that made me realize that it was totally just innocent fun, and that it wasn't "bad" at all. I was able to re-categorize that memory and my perception of myself. I wasn't as much of a troublemaker as I thought - I was just finding my own ways to keep myself occupied.

 

[Autistamatic]

We probably would have enjoyed his cooking. Our idea of "a little garlic" in a meal for 2 is half a bulb

 

[Mia]

I was about eleven years old, when I saw a mime performing on a talent show on television. Thought that what he did during the show was kind of silly, but I liked the idea of pantomime. The pretending to do things in front of other people.

The next day I was out walking with three friends in my hometown. And it occurred to me that we could attempt to stop cars with an imaginary/invisible rope across the road. Two friends stood on one side, and I and another friend stood on the opposite side, all four of us pretended to be pulling and straining to pull on a invisible rope that blocked the road.

We stopped four cars that way, with our imaginary rope. People in cars stopped, with big eyes, staring at us and then realized that there was no rope and drove away.

 

[Shamar]

Most of the stories I can tell from my childhood are rather traumatic, But I have a lot from my time in exploration geology/geophysics. Some of the best are from a project in New Guinea. I can only tell one story at a time, due to risk of a brain hemorrhage from retroactive stress. This project was the origin of the term "disaster du jour."

The island we were on was in the midst of a drought, lasting 3 weeks. This was unprecedented, well beyond living memory. Usually, it would rain nearly every other day, and rarely went more than 4 days without rain. My crew, consisting of locals in their late teens, discovered something unusual and amusing. They learned that if they lit their lighters under a bush or weed, it would start burning, keep burning, and set other things on fire. They had never experienced this before. The fires often went out of control, and it was frequently a race to finish a set of readings and get out before being engulfed in flames. They damn near burned down the entire island.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Once I got really mad in 3rd grade at school so I decided to go AWOL and take off all my clothes. I caused a fuss and the rest of the classes weren't allowed to go to lunch cuz I was naked outside. Eventually my teachers found me and made me put my clothes back on.

 

[Ginseng]

In collage I was taking a group psychotherapy class. I really liked the teacher. He was a psychologist. I took many of his classes so I was quite familiar with him. Well he had us sit in a circle and he said he wanted us to have group, but he was not the leader. He said he was going to remove himself and be off in the background. He told us “a leader will emerge.” Well, I freaked out! I thought what does he mean a leader will emerge? He is the leader. He needs to come back here and be our teacher. I don’t know why this frightened me so. I tried to argue with him but he was adamant. A leader would emerge. I thought there will be no leader emerging. He needs To come back to group and be ourleader like he is supposed to. I tried to figure out what I could do to
get him to acknowledge he was in charge. So I reached in my purse and pulled out my cigarettes and lit one up. I thought he will have to step in and tell me to put it out and then I could point out that only the leader could tell me that. I smoked the whole cigarette and he was silent. A few minutes went by and this guy lit a cig. After that every few minutes someone was smoking. This went on for several class periods then the teacher stepped forward at the beginning of
class one day with an announcement. He said he was just relaying info and he was not giving us a command. He said the fire marshall or the school personal said the smoking has to stop.

I thought no that will not do. I hated this but I figured he could stop it at any time just by acknowledging he was in charge. So I lit a cigarette. I felt so bad though. I couldn’t smoke all of it. I put it out. No one else lit up after that.

 

[Fino]

An adorable, giggling four-year-old boy said to me today, "You are just the silliest man!"

 

[Nervous Rex]

So I lit a cigarette. I felt so bad though. I couldn’t smoke all of it. I put it out. No one else lit up after that.

They all followed your example to smoke and they all followed your example to stop. You were the leader.

 

[Fino]

They all followed your example to smoke and they all followed your example to stop. You were the leader.

I was waiting for the story to end with the teacher recognizing that and felt so disoriented at its actual ending!

 

[Fino]

LOL @Fridgemagnetman "agree," even that's hilarious, it's like you're pointing at the kid and saying, "He's right, ya know..."

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

LOL @Fridgemagnetman "agree," even that's hilarious, it's like you're pointing at the kid and saying, "He's right, ya know..."

The kid was called ''little fridge"

 

[Fino]

The kid was called ''little fridge"

That's adorable!!!!!

 

[Ginseng]

They all followed your example to smoke and they all followed your example to stop. You were the leader.

I should have used my powers for good.

 

[Nervous Rex]

This seems like as good a place as any to tell what happened tonight.

I ordered some takeout pizza and was told it would take about 10-15 minutes. I told them I would wait in the car for a bit - my wife was sitting in the car face-timing my son in college and I wanted in on the conversation.

So about 10 minutes later, I walk back in the pizza place and there’s some guy at the counter. He turns around, smiles at me and says, “Rex?”

I stop and stare at him. I’m sure I should know him - after all, he knows me. But I can’t place his face at all. This is my nightmare. I’m so bad at names and faces, I’m always afraid of someone recognizing me and me offending them by not recognizing them.

So, after a few seconds awkward pause, I say, ‘Yes.” And the guy, his wife, and two people behind the counter all start laughing. The people behind the counter hand me my pizza, and I realize they had been calling my name, and that’s how everyone there knew my name.

Anyway, I’m glad it’s over. And the pizza was good.

 

[Fino]

I once had a 4-year-old piano student suddenly drop the piano book to the floor, yell, "Bye!" in a happy squeal and just walk out.

I was mostly just impressed. I think it was the first time I witnessed the exact moment of the discovery of free will.

 

[Fino]

Oh, AND, I went to my physical therapist today, and I was wearing a Winnie the Pooh jacket (obviously) and she told me a story (wow, a story within a story) about a guy her and a friend saw at the gym who was "dressed as Winnie the Pooh".

He was wearing a small red shirt that exposed his larger-than-life stomach, and she said it was distinctive in a way that made it clear he intended to look like Winnie the Pooh. Her friend whispered to her in shock, "That guy looks like Winnie the Pooh! What do we do??"

I asked, as I'm sure you are now asking yourself, if the guy was wearing skin-colored pants to appear as if he's as naked as Winnie the Pooh, but, alas, he was not.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I asked, as I'm sure you are now asking yourself, if the guy was wearing skin-colored pants to appear as if he's as naked as Winnie the Pooh, but, alas, he was not.

I wasn't asking myself that I just assumed he wasn't wearing any pants.

 

[Fino]

I wasn't asking myself that I just assumed he wasn't wearing any pants.

LOL that was actually my first thought but I quickly moved to the other because I figured she would have mentioned that first. "This guy with no pants and a Winnie the Pooh shirt"