Positive thoughts, do not lead to positive actions, despite what is said.

[Suzanne]

I hear that so often and the only thing I can come up with is that if one has positive energy, then things are positive, even when things can turn negative.

And thus, the opposite happens with negative energy.

I can be positive in some things, but it is always in connection with something separate from myself.

The few times I feel positive, it always ends badly for me, so I feel on many occasions it is SAFER to feel negative, because in fact, a lot of the time, it turns positive for me.

If I feel that I will fall, I do not fall. As soon as I gain confidence.... I fall.

Just my ponderings.

 

[Judge]

That's why I like the notion of being hopeful of things on an individual basis, but not nebulously positive about everything. That strikes me as an illogical state of mind.

Everyone has good days and bad days. After all, I seriously doubt much of anyone's life is one long, continuous journey of bliss.

 

[Suzanne]

That's why I like the notion of being hopeful of things on an individual basis, but not nebulously positive about everything. That strikes me as an illogical state of mind.

Everyone has good days and bad days. After all, I seriously doubt much of anyone's life is one long, continuous journey of bliss.

One of my sisters is an extremely positive person and does not suffer one bit of bad days. I know this, because I have met many who are that way and even if they feel somewhat down, somehow, it is not anywhere near, to how a negative person feels.

Mmm being hopeful is one that I am many times and still goes pearshaped for me.

 

[Judge]

One of my sisters is an extremely positive person and does not suffer one bit of bad days. I know this, because I have met many who are that way and even if they feel somewhat down, somehow, it is not anywhere near, to how a negative person feels.

Mmm being hopeful is one that I am many times and still goes pearshaped for me.

Hope is just that- hope. It is not a condition that has any implied guarantees of a positive outcome.

Perhaps you should reevaluate your own perception of expectations. You may be "setting the bar" too high for yourself. If one lives their life constantly counting on "long shots", it's presumable that they will be constantly disappointed.

You may also want to avoid any dynamics that might reflect doing the same thing over and over again and yet still expecting a different result.

 

[OkRad]

My favourite and most realistic quote about Hope changed the way I think about it . It's by Thucydides in his History of the Peloponnesian War during the Melian Dialog. Book V:103

"Athenians: Hope, danger's comforter, may be indulged in by those who have abundant resources, if not without loss at all events without ruin; but its nature is to be extravagant, and those who go so far as to put their all upon the venture see it in its true colours only when they
are ruined; but so long as the discovery would enable them to
guard against it, it is never found wanting."

I find this to be very true. When I hope for something, I assess if I even have the proper resources to attain that for which I hope. Usually I don't.

Of course, in times of anxiety I engage in useless hoping, to my own destruction. It may give me a few days' peace, but is not sustainable.

If being realistic is being negative then, well, may I be negative rather than deluded.

This does NOT mean all who hope are deluded. We each have to find our own parameters of Hope. Mine just happen to be quite narrow unless I am hoping for realistic things.

 

[Mattymatt]

I hear that so often and the only thing I can come up with is that if one has positive energy, then things are positive, even when things can turn negative.

And thus, the opposite happens with negative energy.

I can be positive in some things, but it is always in connection with something separate from myself.

The few times I feel positive, it always ends badly for me, so I feel on many occasions it is SAFER to feel negative, because in fact, a lot of the time, it turns positive for me.

If I feel that I will fall, I do not fall. As soon as I gain confidence.... I fall.

Just my ponderings.

Yes, I strongly agree. If you recall any sociology classes from college, there was Mertonian Sociology which basically posits the self-fulfilling prophecy. This notion has no real basis in reality. I can think of many times when I tried using positivity that I did not get the desired positive result.

 

[Mattymatt]

My favourite and most realistic quote about Hope changed the way I think about it . It's by Thucydides in his History of the Peloponnesian War during the Melian Dialog. Book V:103

"Athenians: Hope, danger's comforter, may be indulged in by those who have abundant resources, if not without loss at all events without ruin; but its nature is to be extravagant, and those who go so far as to put their all upon the venture see it in its true colours only when they
are ruined; but so long as the discovery would enable them to
guard against it, it is never found wanting."

I find this to be very true. When I hope for something, I assess if I even have the proper resources to attain that for which I hope. Usually I don't.

Of course, in times of anxiety I engage in useless hoping, to my own destruction. It may give me a few days' peace, but is not sustainable.

If being realistic is being negative then, well, may I be negative rather than deluded.

This does NOT mean all who hope are deluded. We each have to find our own parameters of Hope. Mine just happen to be quite narrow unless I am hoping for realistic things.

Realism is not necessarily negative, it's just looking at something objectively for what it is. Realism I would say would be the more accurate look. Realism can be very positive if the situation is positive. Realism really negates the black and white notions of positive and negative - more of a grey area, if you will.

 

[Autistamatic]

Positive thinking doesn't have to mean Disney thinking - "If you wish for something hard enough..."

Hope is an important emotional concept because without it, many things would never change. Without hope, millions of people wouldn't have got on ricketty ships to start a new life in America or Australia. Corrupt governments and monarchs would never have been deposed, and George Lucas wouldn't have had a theme to base Star Wars on.
Hope is healthy as long as it is based on realistic belief. You HAVE to believe you have what it takes to achieve what you hope for, and that belief must be based on a realistic assessment of what you are capable of. If you have to push yourself beyond your limits to a degree to achieve your goal it can be a healthy experience, but setting goals you would have to climb metaphorical mountains to achieve will often lead to frustration and disappointment.
Thinking positively can help you achieve things that are within your grasp, but blind hope or misplaced optimism will usually lead you down a darker path.

IMO

 

[Judge]

Realism is all about probabilities. Hope is about possibilities.

Perhaps the most optimal thing one can do is to keep both in proper perspective no matter how your life is going at any one time.

 

[BraidedPony]

I’ve had people tell me that if I just had a positive attitude things would work out and I wouldn’t be depressed.
That is putting the blame on me when things go wrong or I am depressed.
And then there are those times when I’m trying to be positive and these same people tell me I’m being naive!
So I’m learning to not share too much about how I feel one way or the other and just keep my fears and dreams to myself. I try, but I just can’t NOT share....
P.S. Happy Birthday OkRad!

 

[Progster]

I don't expect too much because I know that I'm likely to be disappointed, but I can always hope.

 

[Streetwise]

Happy birthday

My favourite and most realistic quote about Hope changed the way I think about it . It's by Thucydides in his History of the Peloponnesian War during the Melian Dialog. Book V:103

"Athenians: Hope, danger's comforter, may be indulged in by those who have abundant resources, if not without loss at all events without ruin; but its nature is to be extravagant, and those who go so far as to put their all upon the venture see it in its true colours only when they
are ruined; but so long as the discovery would enable them to
guard against it, it is never found wanting."

I find this to be very true. When I hope for something, I assess if I even have the proper resources to attain that for which I hope. Usually I don't.

Of course, in times of anxiety I engage in useless hoping, to my own destruction. It may give me a few days' peace, but is not sustainable.

If being realistic is being negative then, well, may I be negative rather than deluded.

This does NOT mean all who hope are deluded. We each have to find our own parameters of Hope. Mine just happen to be quite narrow unless I am hoping for realistic things.

 

[Theta.G]

Positive thoughts do lead to positive action... that is, if your dominant frame of mind is positive. This takes more than a few weeks to develop. Usually months of intensive work. A day or two of trying to think positive for selective situations is a lot different from changing your neurological pathways. and when you are finally making meaningful progress it's like little tests are thrown your way to bring you down. That's your brain trying to pull you back to the familiar. The brain loves familiarity even if it's painful. It's actively directing your conscious attention to things or situations that would bring you back to the dominant neuronal pathway. If you fall then your not ready for the change but if you rise above it you can keep what was acquired in that milestone, that checkpoint.

When you're low and numbed out to the worlds atrocities they can have less of an impact when you're high and able to feel.
If you're in moderate pain everyday... cuts, scrapes and bruises are no problem because the greater pain overrides the lesser. If you rarely experience pain... then those same cuts, scrapes and bruises would be way more bothersome.

 

[Aliza]

Never in my life have I read some thing I relate to so much, until now.

 

[OkRad]

View attachment 47679 Happy birthday

Ha! This is perfect! I do declare, it's Thucydides himself! Much appreciated, @Streetwise

 

[Fino]

I think people are too attached to emotions and outcomes. I don't think of the brain as "me," it's just another part of the body I occupy. When the brain is releasing or failing to release whatever chemicals that lead to an uncomfortable feeling, I think it's important to not identify with that feeling. We feel it and then say "I am sad" and you feel it more and tell yourself again and it feeds itself. Instead, when the discomfort begins, just experience it. Don't judge it. It's just as if your hand were aching. It's not a big deal. Just keep living.

Now, sometimes, you're feeling that way as a signal for you to do something, such as sadness caused by a bad relationship and the sadness is instructing you to get out of the relationship. But a lot of the time, it's not so instructional.

And I think when you view emotions this way, you stop striving to "be happy." People always want to "feel good." They want a rush of dopamine. Why? It fades and then you want it again. It's like people's preoccupation with sex. That pleasurable feeling is not objectively better or worse than that sad feeling. They're all just endless physical processes and identifying with them is choosing to get on the rollercoaster.

And the thing about positivity and negativity seems, to me, like an attempt to control. People love control. People want to control the world and they want to control other people. Losing the desire to control makes that whole game vanish. Positive thinking and negative thinking are both judgments. I say we just stop judging. Experience without the world without as little preconception and expectation as possible always suspend judgment on everything for as long as possible, imbue every single thought and action with love, and nothing else is relevant!

Am I a hippie?

 

[Streetwise]

View attachment 47679 Happy birthday

I always think it's Josephus or I Claudius, it's what I base my knowledge on ,the four men that I saw for more than a few minutes in my life !are the types of man oh Its a .... and the man's name , or a Roman slave .

 

[Sid Delicious]

Things like 'hope' and 'positive thoughts' are a bit beyond my level of cognitive ability. To me they just seem like very abstract ideas without much substance. Perhaps they make far more sense to NT thinking patterns, but when weighing up a situation I just list the most probable outcomes based on the information I have and adjust my behaviour accordingly. I don't consider that negative or positive thinking. My dad was diagnosed with cancer a couple of weeks ago and has had three lots of emergency surgery and a bunch of things that went wrong. But the only thought process going through my head the entire time was evaluating all the practical things we could do that would likely alter the end result in a beneficial way. Yes, cancer is pretty horrible for anyone and you can't change that. But you still have some control over things. Being depressed and sitting around whinging about it doesn't help. So instead my cousin and I did a ton of research and brainstorming and came up with ways to improve the situation, and that has massively helped. Yesterday I had a family member tell me I wasn't fully aware of what was happening or wasn't dealing with it, but I believe I have 'dealt' with the situation in a far more realistic and (in the long term) positive way than this family member who has spent the whole time moping about being completely useless.

 

[Bronzelincolns]

there's a difference between positivity and presumption.