Places like here

[100skerls]

I’m looking for sites like this one. It’s my belief that there aren’t enough places for autistic people to connect. It’s not that this place isn’t good enough - it’s that I just can’t believe how few places like this there are. Where are they all? I believe autistic people need a stronger sense of community and culture. Please share if there are any sites especially new ones where autistic people are connecting. Reddit? Chatrooms? Obviously there is wrong planet. I’m looking for more.

Thanks
Your friendly skerl

 

[Hylian]

The only other thing I've used besides for Wrong Planet is the Asperger's subreddit, but I never really participated since it seems like a lot of the posts on there are negative ones. I also don't like how subreddits work in the first place.

Besides for that subreddit, this forum, and Wrong Planet I haven't really found anything else that's active though.

 

[Matthias]

I’m looking for sites like this one. It’s my belief that there aren’t enough places for autistic people to connect. It’s not that this place isn’t good enough - it’s that I just can’t believe how few places like this there are. Where are they all? I believe autistic people need a stronger sense of community and culture. Please share if there are any sites especially new ones where autistic people are connecting. Reddit? Chatrooms? Obviously there is wrong planet. I’m looking for more.

Thanks
Your friendly skerl

You could try boards for social anxiety, shyness, and depression to find people in similar situations.

 

[Major Tom]

I've never found a place like here. It's unfortunate. WP really put me off when I checked it out, (before I came here). It almost was off-putting enough to make me not join here. I'm glad I made the leap though.

 

[100skerls]

I've never found a place like here. It's unfortunate. WP really put me off when I checked it out, (before I came here). It almost was off-putting enough to make me not join here. I'm glad I made the leap though.

I’ve checked it out a few times (wrong planet) could never even figure out how to use the site - I found it confusing. Maybe they just have way fewer functions? Found myself asking “how do I search by member? Where is the media page? Member profiles?” Also chat doesn’t work on mobile. I have heard only negative things about it anyway.

 

[Major Tom]

I’ve checked it out a few times (wrong planet) could never even figure out how to use the site - I found it confusing. Maybe they just have way fewer functions? Found myself asking “how do I search by member? Where is the media page? Member profiles?” Also chat doesn’t work on mobile. I have heard only negative things about it anyway.

I had the same issues, with the bonus of reading some of the nearly all negative posts. All in all the place seemed negative to me.

 

[menander]

I agree. I often wondered why there are so few . There was a web site listing a bunch and all were defunct. I do like it here, though

 

[Misery]

I had the same issues, with the bonus of reading some of the nearly all negative posts. All in all the place seemed negative to me.

Sad thing is, it used to be a good place. But unqualified (and often corrupt) mods and out of control users ruined it. The fact that political topics were allowed all over the place really didnt help... politics as a subject is inherently toxic. Also not helping was the sheer amount of venting and complaining that the site was filled with for.... some reason. Users bashing other users was also ignored by the mods. I remember one guy in particular... who I shall not name (and if I did, I suspect most former WP members would instantly know who I mean) who tended to jump into topics strictly to tell others how very wrong they were about... whatever. That was his entire function. That sort of thing... not good on any forum.

AND. And. The site had nearly no security. I cant count the number of times I went there, only to find the main page absolutely DRENCHED in bot posts. As someone who has done actual, PROPER forum moderation before, I can tell you.... it's *very* easy to prevent that crap. Very, very easy. But nobody bothered. That'd have been too much effort.

People on there could be really nasty too, and the idea of essentially weaponizing mods was a thing (no, seriously). I once had someone try to report me simply for being myself (as I didnt behave on there any different than I do on this site). Predicting that he was about to do this, I manipulated another mod into a sort of... preemptive defense position. So, the guy got in trouble, I didnt. The fact that I found myself needing to do that at all spoke volumes, and was the #1 thing that contributed to me deciding to leave the site and go to... absolutely any other freaking place.

Just amazes me, how a site designed to help people ended up being one that only hurts them instead.

 

[Ezra]

It's just this place and Wrong Planet. Even back when forums were more popular and active, that was pretty much the case.

 

[Aspychata]

It's just this place and Wrong Planet. Even back when forums were more popular and active, that was pretty much the case.

Weird that there is only two forums. It makes me think that our abilities may mean that we need to be monitored because of our ability to see outside of things and understand manipulative behavior because a lot of us have lived thru it. So strange. Just a sorta raw guess, or the other thought- austitic people- just don't visit forums.

 

[100skerls]

Sad thing is, it used to be a good place. But unqualified (and often corrupt) mods and out of control users ruined it. The fact that political topics were allowed all over the place really didnt help... politics as a subject is inherently toxic. Also not helping was the sheer amount of venting and complaining that the site was filled with for.... some reason. Users bashing other users was also ignored by the mods. I remember one guy in particular... who I shall not name (and if I did, I suspect most former WP members would instantly know who I mean) who tended to jump into topics strictly to tell others how very wrong they were about... whatever. That was his entire function. That sort of thing... not good on any forum.

AND. And. The site had nearly no security. I cant count the number of times I went there, only to find the main page absolutely DRENCHED in bot posts. As someone who has done actual, PROPER forum moderation before, I can tell you.... it's *very* easy to prevent that crap. Very, very easy. But nobody bothered. That'd have been too much effort.

People on there could be really nasty too, and the idea of essentially weaponizing mods was a thing (no, seriously). I once had someone try to report me simply for being myself (as I didnt behave on there any different than I do on this site). Predicting that he was about to do this, I manipulated another mod into a sort of... preemptive defense position. So, the guy got in trouble, I didnt. The fact that I found myself needing to do that at all spoke volumes, and was the #1 thing that contributed to me deciding to leave the site and go to... absolutely any other freaking place.

Just amazes me, how a site designed to help people ended up being one that only hurts them instead.

Well. The fact of the matter is that no place can be perfect anyway. Some of those things can happen here sometimes. All the more reason why there should be more places like this. I’ve seen a good number of users leave this site after being chastised when they very well could’ve simply been misunderstood. It’s kind of unwelcoming. So if they feel their way of acting doesn’t fit the rules or the environment within the community they might find themselves wondering where they can go alternatively. And we all deserve a community I think. I think that’s the whole point of this place (to me anyway). It’s a place to go where we can feel we aren’t judged and where we can have a sense of understanding and community. No one place can be a perfect fit for everyone.

 

[Misery]

Weird that there is only two forums. It makes me think that our abilities may mean that we need to be monitored because of our ability to see outside of things and understand manipulative behavior because a lot of us have lived thru it. So strange. Just a sorta raw guess, or the other thought- austitic people- just don't visit forums.

My guess is it'd be that second one. So many of us just dont communicate much, if at all. And of course there's those that just arent interested in computers.

 

[100skerls]

My guess is it'd be that second one. So many of us just dont communicate much, if at all. And of course there's those that just arent interested in computers.

But do they not communicate because they’ve learned it isn’t worth it? I still don’t know how likely an average autistic is to truly not desire human contact of any kind vs not want human contact because they’ve learned it doesn’t give them what they want. Maybe many people don’t know which is true for them too. I’m not sure I want any more commitment than friends on here. I also had no clue before I joined on here that I’d stick with it and enjoy this form of social contact as much as I do.


I guess what I’m getting at is how would you know one way or the other if you’ve never experienced that connection? I didn’t think I’d like it here because I’ve never had an experience where I felt a part of a community before. Thought it wasn’t for me. Turns out it is. For all I know I could also enjoy having close friends IRL - maybe even many close friends, if I can find the right people. It’s a logical fallacy I’ve heard mentioned before - people can’t imagine how they might change as a person (change their opinions, preferences) and because they can’t imagine what those changes might be, they assume the change just won’t happen. They underestimate how much they will change in the future. It’s something that seemingly everybody does throughout their life and across all ages, races, and backgrounds - according to research. You can’t really know yourself fully. The things that define who you are - your preferences, opinions, hobbies, etc. Those things are malleable. We are malleable - molded by experiences and how we reflect on those experiences over time. You don’t know what those experiences will be or how you might respond to them. So when we think of the person we are today, that’s all we’re thinking of. The person we are today. Maybe tomorrow that person will be different. Maybe tomorrow we will have an experience that ultimately changes our view on socializing.

 

[Aspychata]

Well. The fact of the matter is that no place can be perfect anyway. Some of those things can happen here sometimes. All the more reason why there should be more places like this. I’ve seen a good number of users leave this site after being chastised when they very well could’ve simply been misunderstood. It’s kind of unwelcoming. So if they feel their way of acting doesn’t fit the rules or the environment within the community they might find themselves wondering where they can go alternatively. And we all deserve a community I think. I think that’s the whole point of this place (to me anyway). It’s a place to go where we can feel we aren’t judged and where we can have a sense of understanding and community. No one place can be a perfect fit for everyone.

Total support on that. Sometimes what l say is perceived differently by different people because l bring my bias views and other people with their own cognitive bias , therein is the issue of misunderstanding. But in the end, we all learn from each other.

 

[Fino]

I read a book on the history of Autism and Wrong Planet was actually mentioned in it near the end.

 

[Misery]

But do they not communicate because they’ve learned it isn’t worth it? I still don’t know how likely an average autistic is to truly not desire human contact of any kind vs not want human contact because they’ve learned it doesn’t give them what they want. Maybe many people don’t know which is true for them too. I’m not sure I want any more commitment than friends on here. I also had no clue before I joined on here that I’d stick with it and enjoy this form of social contact as much as I do.

It could be that, or it could be that they simply had zero interest in talking to people to begin with.

I tend to fall into that category most of the time. IRL I'm nearly silent around most people, because most people are astonishingly boring. So with no interest whatsoever, I have nothing to say and typically want them to just go away. I'd much rather talk to my dog. He's far more interesting.

I do use the Net and talk sometimes, because on here I can find people that actually are interesting. Sometimes.

But even then... I dont do that very much. Outside of this forum, I rarely talk even on the Net.

I suspect some users are like me, and they come to places like this specifically because to them, it's the ONLY place to find anyone to talk to, and they're just as silent IRL as I am.

I've forgotten where I was going with this.

 

[100skerls]

It could be that, or it could be that they simply had zero interest in talking to people to begin with.

I tend to fall into that category most of the time. IRL I'm nearly silent around most people, because most people are astonishingly boring. So with no interest whatsoever, I have nothing to say and typically want them to just go away. I'd much rather talk to my dog. He's far more interesting.

I do use the Net and talk sometimes, because on here I can find people that actually are interesting. Sometimes.

But even then... I dont do that very much. Outside of this forum, I rarely talk even on the Net.

I suspect some users are like me, and they come to places like this specifically because to them, it's the ONLY place to find anyone to talk to, and they're just as silent IRL as I am.

I've forgotten where I was going with this.

Me too! But so yeah that’s my point. Maybe social contact IRL sucks but if you have a platform to be able to talk to people you relate more too and you enjoy it enough to do it then maybe that’s something of value for a lot of autistics and something they should all have access to. Maybe not all of them, maybe some just don’t care one way or the other. I don’t know!

 

[Thinx]

I think there's a big advantage for those with slow processing, to using written communication, it gives time to understand what is being said, then respond at one's own pace. That's a defining difference for me, as IRL (I just worked out what that means, and am anxious to use it...), yeah, IRL, I can't pick up on the talk so fast as to join in effectively, I prefer to observe, and can't easily time in my comments. It's a chore, not a pleasure. The information from all sides is confusing and goes too fast. IRL.

 

[Progster]

I think there's a big advantage for those with slow processing, to using written communication, it gives time to understand what is being said, then respond at one's own pace. That's a defining difference for me, as IRL (I just worked out what that means, and am anxious to use it...), yeah, IRL, I can't pick up on the talk so fast as to join in effectively, I prefer to observe, and can't easily time in my comments. It's a chore, not a pleasure. The information from all sides is confusing and goes too fast. IRL.

Exactly - and this is why I use the forum so much. IRL I don't talk much at all, because I don't process fast enough. Or because thery are talking about something that doesn't interest me/I have no knowledge of, and I have nothing to say. Even the chat here goes too fast for me, especially when there are several people chatting and more than one conversation going on - I just can't keep up. Here, I can choose which conversations to participate in. Here, I have a voice.

 

[SusanLR]

Connecting through writing is much easier.
I can proof read what I've written and take time to answer posts.
IRL people want answers back too quickly and sometimes get annoyed when I don't
seem to reply fast enough.

Also in a community like this I can make contacts and connections with people I identify with
more than the buzzing chatter of a myriad of things when with other people.
If I find people in my life boring and talking about things I have no interest in, I realize I probably
act quite unfriendly.
Just a much better form of communication here for me.