I self-diagnosed about a year ago. Before that, for decades, I puzzled out the symptoms and tried to work on those - social anxiety, depression, anxiety, dealing with past emotional traumas, all of this other stuff - and I think it did me good to try to learn about those things and deal with them better, as all of that hard work has paid off somewhat in helping me come of a little better with others and in making me feel a bit more comfortable with others - the fact is, it just got me over a set of railroad tracks, I'm still very much on the border, so the social struggle is still very strong and I am barely making it. Once I found that Aspergers explained everything for me....then I just started reading books and watching videos by other adults with Aspergers. It has helped me understand my own user's manual better and that is helping me come to a realistic expectation of how to operate myself in this world. It's all been "heavy lifting" for me, though - nothing I could give as a bulleted list. You may have to learn more about how Asperger's affects you, then address the symptoms. For myself, before addressing any of the substance of connecting better based on what I was saying or doing, the fastest way to jump forward in that direction was through my physical appearance. Looking as good and as appropriate as possible has been indispensable for setting people at ease. Trying to filter what I say to sound as appropriate as possible is harder, but also sets people at ease - may not forge a connection, but helps take away any unintended barriers (same for the physical appearance). Sorry I can't offer more specific advice.