Illkurok
King of Isolation
Today something happened that the title perfectly describes, I was beaten up in public because of my severe social anxiety. Apparently it's just an excuse to be a coward and that I should be ashamed to have it.
It's not just something I can "get over" or "just stop." It's been something that has haunted me my entire life, I've tried really hard as I've aged to deal with it, and while it has gotten better, in some situations I just shut down because of it still.
I debated for awhile whether or not I should make this event into a thread, but I felt that it was severe enough to release it. While this was happening, I noticed people just kept walking by, like nothing wrong was happening. I defended myself until I fell to the ground, then I did my best to protect my head and face until finally after my assailants were done, I slowly picked myself back up and limped home. I felt extreme shame, like maybe they were right in some degree and that I just needed to suck it up, but I know that I couldn't just do that.
It's not just something I can "get over" or "just stop." It's been something that has haunted me my entire life, I've tried really hard as I've aged to deal with it, and while it has gotten better, in some situations I just shut down because of it still.
I debated for awhile whether or not I should make this event into a thread, but I felt that it was severe enough to release it. While this was happening, I noticed people just kept walking by, like nothing wrong was happening. I defended myself until I fell to the ground, then I did my best to protect my head and face until finally after my assailants were done, I slowly picked myself back up and limped home. I felt extreme shame, like maybe they were right in some degree and that I just needed to suck it up, but I know that I couldn't just do that.
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