People "seeing" my obsession

[Dorkasour]

So I've been a very obsessive person my entire life but over people more than items. I've been seeing a therapist about it but it's so bad.

I find someone I find interesting and then I learn everything about them, I know it's weird but I can't stop. Then I constantly try to talk to them until the point in which I suffocate them or overwelm them.

I've really stepped back and been better about it but I still think about these people all the time. Sometimes I am paranoid people will see how obsessive I am and think I am a freak. I feel really terrible about it.

I know I have alot to offer to people but my obsessiveness just gets in the way.

 

[Marcus]

I've done that with people before too, especially friends. I want to get to know everything that way nothing is left in the dark, it also helps greatly with the way my mind thinks about people hiding things anyway if everything is out in the open.

I've also lost a lot of people in my life that way, so I've toned it down a lot over the years, now to the point to where some people don't think I care enough. Hmmm.

I'm glad you posted a thread on this, I certainly never would of had the courage to.

 

[Dorkasour]

Marcus, I toned it down alot but I still constantly think people will somehow figure out how obsessive I am. When I told my sister about this she said "Well, Michelle, Nobody can see what your thinking so unless you act on it you're ok."

 

[Sherlock77]

I suspect I might have done this to people before... In recent years I have become more aware and try to do it less...

 

[SusanLR]

I like to know everything I can about people I am getting close with or people I am around on a professional level.
I think it is interesting. Like getting to know them without asking blunt questions.
Again just blurting out what I think is not a good way to
be social, but that's what usually happens so I end up
being quiet for fear people won't like my directness.

As far as fearing people seeing my obsessions, I do try to
keep them from showing.
But, my obsessions are more along the lines of perfectionism, order, or things I fear and obsessively
worry over.
More of an OCD personality. Don't let it show if possible.

 

[Progster]

I've done this in the past, but it wasn't a good thing because the person exploited me.

Your sister has good advice, as long as it stays in your head and you don't act upon it, there's no problem, but I know that's easier said than done. The fact that you stepped back from it and posted about it here is good, because is shows that you are aware of the issue, want to do something about and finding coping mechanisms to keep it in check.

 

[Major Tom]

I tend to get overly interested in certain people as well. For example thinking about them while ignoring what is going on around me, so yes I can relate. Certain people for me are like lights in the darkness to me. I have found that usually the feelings fade over time, or some kind of hangup happens, and I eventually lose interest, or find a new person to be interested in. It seems like a neverending cycle though.

 

[Suzanne]

I am like that too, but I seem to be able to control it. I do confess though, that I have gone into facebook and tried to find them and then, go through their activies, but am often left disappointed.

I also find that if that person suddenly is not where I expected them to be, I feel a sense of something being whipped from under me.

I read somewhere that it is a very aspie trait.

My worst ever obsession ( for intensity) actually got me to see that it was an obsession that I do get obsessed and hubby pointed it out in frustration with me and even threatened to throw my computer away, if I did not stop saying the word. It lasted 2 weeks and they all do and now, I can give or take it. And that was a condition.

I since find that as soon as I feel I am slipping into an obsession, I can pull myself out.

 

[tducey]

I've had that in the past as well. Certain Facebook friends and people I follow on Twitter I pay more attention to than others.

 

[Homebrand]

I very occasionally get obsessions with people. However that because in year 7 I got crazy obsessed with one of my teachers and I couldn't even speak to them. In fact I though of little else other than them for that whole year and yeah its kinda embarrassing to admit so I try not to get that way with people now.