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People harass me / most are nice in real life

KOZMOZIS @realchrisharold

KOZMOZIS @realchrisharold

Wall Street Apprentice
I’ve become who I truly am: a straight woman trapped inside a man’s body.

We have to wear masks inside stores so I can’t show men my lipstick, which is something I love to experiment with.

homeless bums stare at me in disbelief and as if they’re ready to attack me. Probably because they’re homeless, illiterate brain dead morons with a hard drug addiction and hate the world - the universe - and themselves with a burning passion, and fail to see even one side of a coin.

But: because these are the glasses I’m working with, and the hair I’m working with until it grows out much, much longer - this is how I’ll be going out tomorrow to Safeway to get my booster shot.

I don’t feel ashamed, scared - nothing. I just feel attacked. Attacked by wandering eyes - lost in translation and miscommunication.

I hope to marry a man one day, a handsome, smart, clean, tall, funny, ambitious man.
 

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Sorry that society can't accept you for who you wish to be. I grew up in a city where differences were accepted as normal.

May you find your special someone.☺
 
It sounds like you know who you are, and what is right for you. That's good. But like you say others can be mean. I hope you have some support to be who you want to be, maybe a trans organisation for example?
 
Thinx said:
It sounds like you know who you are, and what is right for you. That's good. But like you say others can be mean. I hope you have some support to be who you want to be, maybe a trans organisation for example?
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the thing about that is: I already was a part of one. They meet extremely late at Denny’s. I need to be home before the buses stop running. All the groups start at 8PM at the pride Center here.

Plus: most of the girls are lesbians and don’t like men one bit. I absolutely love men, on the other hand.
 
Thinx said:
It sounds like you know who you are, and what is right for you. That's good. But like you say others can be mean. I hope you have some support to be who you want to be, maybe a trans organisation for example?
Click to expand...

I miss a man that hasn’t entered my life yet. I miss the men I have been with - holding me and kissing my neck, and holding my hand. None of them have done any of that, but I can feel it as if it had already happened.
 
When l wasn't with anyone due to my emotional status, l scraped a tiny bit of money and had a massage. That human touch really helped me. Craving human touch is so important. Getting and receiving hugs too. But l know you have a budget restriction currently.
 
Aspychata said:
When l wasn't with anyone due to my emotional status, l scraped a tiny bit of money and had a massage. That human touch really helped me. Craving human touch is so important. Getting and receiving hugs too. But l know you have a budget restriction currently.
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Yeah…

I would love if a man gave me a massage. A good man; a man that wants to take me out in public. I think once my hair grows out - men will start complimenting me and then I can start flirting with them.
 
Update: I made an appointment for the gender clinic. I just might be going on HRT after all. And getting bottom surgery eventually. I don’t know about top surgery though - I’d be rather happy with natural small breasts. Natural breasts would make me feel really, really sexy
 
Not all homeless people are drug addicts or illiterate. It's the worst place to be in society and once you're there you rarely get out. An accident, becoming jobless, a disease... Any misfortune or calamity can lead people down that road. I even know homeless people with academic grades. Show kindness and don't let staring bother you.
You can't stop people from staring, or talking behind your back, so better stick with the people who respect you. You can not change other people, just yourself- but you can have a positive impact on the ones you love, the ones that love you back. It's just hard to find the 'right' people in life ;)
 
Aneka said:
Not all homeless people are drug addicts or illiterate. It's the worst place to be in society and once you're there you rarely get out. An accident, becoming jobless, a disease... Any misfortune or calamity can lead people down that road. I even know homeless people with academic grades. Show kindness and don't let staring bother you.
You can't stop people from staring, or talking behind your back, so better stick with the people who respect you. You can not change other people, just yourself- but you can have a positive impact on the ones you love, the ones that love you back. It's just hard to find the 'right' people in life ;)
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A lot of homeless people suffer from schizophrenia or are schizotypal, but people often assume their symptoms are caused by drugs they are on. If you see a homeless person talking out loud to seemingly no one, chances are he isn't of the planet from drugs but is psychotic.
 
phantom said:
A lot of homeless people suffer from schizophrenia or are schizotypal, but people often assume their symptoms are caused by drugs they are on. If you see a homeless person talking out loud to seemingly no one, chances are he isn't of the planet from drugs but is psychotic.
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And even homeless people who are drug addicts or alcoholics shouldn’t be sneered at either. Addiction is considered a weakness of character, a form of laziness, when in fact it is an attempt to self-medicate/soothe deep psychological and emotional pain. It is as much an illness as conditions like schizophrenia.
 
phantom said:
A lot of homeless people suffer from schizophrenia or are schizotypal, but people often assume their symptoms are caused by drugs they are on. If you see a homeless person talking out loud to seemingly no one, chances are he isn't of the planet from drugs but is psychotic.
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I suffer from schizophrenia. I never do that. I never have. Never will. So to say it’s because of schizophrenia is just asinine.
 
KOZMOZIS @realchrisharold said:
I suffer from schizophrenia. I never do that. I never have. Never will. So to say it’s because of schizophrenia is just asinine.
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Not everyone has the same severity and symptoms. But in general homeless people acting strange is very likely caused by psychosis and not drugs, tho they do often use drugs too ofcourse.
 
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