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People deliberately trying to trigger your disability

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Kit, Sep 20, 2020.

  1. Kit

    Kit Well-Known Member

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    When you have a disability, I am sure we can all tell when a behavior is deliberate than just someone living their normal life or doing their normal thing.

    People will purposely make noise to trigger your sensory overload it intentionally touch your stuff or move your stuff to trigger you. I would say this is more common when we are kids because kids are mean and will intentionally do things to trigger you because they lack empathy.

    Even when I was in high school and my brothers were in junior high, I do believe to this day they were intentionally loud and would do things to trigger my anxiety and my parents would side with them.

    I was an adult when I found out my mom knew there were people out there that intentionally do things trigger people because she used to be in a secret sister group and someone there had anxiety issues. I am sure she was on the autism spectrum based on what my mom had told me about her but back then she said it was anxiety she has (I think she was undiagnosed and maybe she thought it was only anxiety she had than looking at the reason behind it). But anyway she had to be in control and have things go a certain way or she would get anxious (sounds like autism to me and my mom also mentioned she had social issues as well). Well people in that group would deliberately do things to make her anxious and one time she made this tray and used olives as garnish. She told everyone to not eat the garnish and told them what the garnish was. But someone decided to take a olive in front of her and eat it just to get her upset. She bragged about it to my mom and she was so disgusted she quit the group because she got tired of the bullying on the woman and said this could be her own daughter in the future.

    The ironic thing is she didn't seem to care when my brothers and their friends were doing this to me when I was 15 and 16.They were at an age where kids rebel and are assholes so I have seen a pattern with teens who are like 12-14 that they will dilbratly do things to trigger people with mental illnesses and disabilities based on stories I have read online. But the difference is they are kids and they grow out of it so they get a pass and forgiveness for their ableism. But if an adult does it, I judge them harshly.

    But I bet this will be hard to convince people without a disability that a behavior is deliberate and they are doing it to trigger you. Reason why my mom knew in her secret sister group is because they bragged about it but I doubt she would know my brothers and their friends did it intentionally to trigger my anxiety as well. I don't blame them, I blame my parents because they enabled it and would gaslight me about it saying "this is their house too and have right to have friends over." Except them having friends over wasn't the point, it was them being loud and being in my personal space and making messes and running in and out of the house and tracking in dirt and I hated having to clean up after them. Then by the time they were maybe 15 and 16, they had grown out of that asshole phase and were finally empathetic and they stopped being rowdy teens and started to accommodate me. They would still have their parties and have their friends but they were no so loud and being wild. But by the time that had happened, I was already 19 and was out of high school. Then I moved out.

    But that is one of the things about not being NT, people won't take you seriously and your parents who have always advocated for you and done so much for you can still act abusive by being enablers for this and start blaming you for your anxiousness.


    Now as a parent, I can tell when my daughter is trying to trigger my son because he is upset over trivial things and I do not like it when she tries to provoke him and trigger him so she does get in trouble by me. I don't enable it. I guess that is a bonus as being a parent with a disability, not letting this cycle continue and being able to see when a behavior is intentional just to trigger your child who has a disability also. But to be fair, my son will also try and bug her and provoke her and he gets in trouble too because of sibling rivalry.
     
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  2. BrokenBoy

    BrokenBoy 戯言使い(Nonsense User)

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    You mean like intentionally mentioning the Vietnam war to people who have vietnam flashbacks?
     
  3. oregano

    oregano Judgment day #1: 27/9/2021 V.I.P Member

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    Yeah, there's a whole community of people out there who get some sort of sadistic pleasure out of making others upset. It happens a lot with politics in the US where people will intentionally poke fun at other people in order to spark an angry outburst, many times the person doing the triggering will record the reaction of the target and post it online to be laughed at.

    I came across a ham radio operator not that long ago who deliberately changed his ham radio callsign to reference a liberal organization hated by conservatives, then he posted angry reactions to it on his profile page on a HR web forum so he could laugh at them. It's considered trolling by some, but it's not really classic Chris Chan style trolling but more a thing of simply pushing buttons to get a reaction to be laughed at.

    There's a "comedian" named Sasha Baron Cohen whose whole career is built on this, he sets up fake "talk shows", lures people like politicians on, then keeps pushing until he gets a reaction. Heck, he even made a whole MOVIE where he called himself "Borat from Kazakhstan" and traveled around doing all sorts of really disgusting stuff to get working class whites to explode in rage, which was all recorded and put in the movie.
     
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  4. Kit

    Kit Well-Known Member

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    Or people who do loud boom noises to trigger someone's PTSD or intentionally do flashing things to trigger someone's seizures or PTSD.

    We have have people who will tamper with food when someone has food allergies or is on a special diet.

    I once read a post on reddit, where someone sued their room mate for their medical bill because they tapered with their food and they had to go to ER because of a food allergy reaction they had. Their room mate knew about it but decided to tamper with their food and lie to them about it to trick them to prove to them wrong. The Reddit poster won the lawsuit and the room mate had to pay hefty fines for the lawsuit they lost.

    People are sure cruel but I like hearing karma stories at the end.
     
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  5. AuBurney Tuckerson

    AuBurney Tuckerson ~GigglesTheAutisticHyena~

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    When I was in school, people would trigger my sensory overload by making loud noises or screaming near my ears (they would get nearly punched).
     
  6. Gift2humanity

    Gift2humanity Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Disabilities are funny things, they can be invisible. They can be visible. I remember a school kid saying to me with contempt "You are always moving", years ago before swimming was known, I also suspect undiagnosed ADHD as did the previous autism assesor.

    People who purposely make noise to trigger your sensory overload, intentionally touch your stuff or move your stuff to trigger you are doing it because they have issues with maturity. Mature kids don't bully, the immature troubled ones do, this is a form of bullying. They lack empathy.

    I do not wish to pry maybe ask yourself if your family is toxic, parents siding with subtle bullying. I don't know if they knew you were autistic then.

    It sounds like the women in the secret sister group were bullying the possibly autistic woman if they were deliberately doing things to make her anxious. The behaviour with the olive garnish is bullying, they may have seen her as strange as autism wasn't as well known back then, however bullying "different and divergent" people is still bullying.

    Maybe your mom has subtle bullying issues of her own. Her childhood experience is a gauge on whether someone is a bully, or, rather their response to their childhood experience. If they have an "edge" to them, a bad vibe, no matter how subtle this is an indication of unresolved childhood issues.

    Bullying is never ok even in kids. In the old days bullying was accepted as part of growing up, but it produced a lot of damaged adults who did not now or had not learnt how to deal with it.

    Intuition is key when discerning bad behaviour, also looking at the person as a whole, are they genuine, authentic people or are they fakes.

    Bragged about bullying as an adult is immature.

    This is a toxic family sign.

    Its good they finally accommodated you, so long as they treat you with respect, have no one in your life who doesn't. Moving out was a good move for you.

    If your parents know you are autistic, to me, it is their duty to understand it and accommodate it.

    It sounds like you used your mother as an example of how not to be. Breaking the cycle.