1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Featured Overcoming/ Managing Social Anxiety

Discussion in 'PDD-NOS, Social Anxiety and Others' started by Loren, May 17, 2019.

  1. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,106
    Joined:
    May 19, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,521
    I have been wondering what means others utilize in their efforts to manage social anxiety.

    Thank you very much, in advance, for any words of wisdom or remedies you may have to share! :cherryblossom::herb:
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2019
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
  2. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,701
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +5,140
    Hello, Loren! How exciting to see you make a thread! :blossom:

    I manage social anxiety by:
    1. Medication
    2. Diet and exercise
    3. Fidget items
    4. Letting myself avoid what makes me too uncomfortable
    5. Choosing friends carefully and having them aware of my anxiety
    6. Accepting myself as awkward and less socially skilled than most others
    7. Apologizing when I feel the need

    That's all I can think of for now! I hope at least one is at least a tiny bit helpful! Let us know what you do as well, if you'd like!

    :cherryblossom::cherryblossom::fallenleaf:
     
    • Useful x 4
    • Like x 3
    • Informative x 2
    • Agree x 1
    • Winner x 1
    • Friendly x 1
  3. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,497
    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2018
    Karma:
    +6,316
    I don't do too well with social anxiety - still trying to learn myself. :)
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
  4. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    31,048
    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2013
    Karma:
    +20,819
    Social anxiety...
    Like feeling negative about myself because I think people will
    look at me and think "Wow. She sure does dress funny. Why
    would anybody wear all those clothes.....in the summer?"

    That thought has occurred to me.

    That because I'm not dressed the way other people are that
    I am inferior. Maybe stupid. Somehow not worth what other
    people are worth.

    Then I remember that I am dressed for my own health and not
    as a display, that I am doing what I can to keep myself well, and
    that anyone who knows me, knows that in general, I could not
    be described as "stupid."

    My performance in some areas does not equal that of other people.
    I'd make a terrible sumo wrestler. Or rodeo bull rider. Or runway model.

    But the things I can do, I do OK.
    And that's the way I think about myself.
    That although there are aspects of my being that I'd like to change
    for my convenience, some can't be changed, but can be dealt with,
    and I accept that.

    I don't make up stories to tell myself anything to the contrary.
     
    • Winner Winner x 3
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  5. Autistamatic

    Autistamatic He's just this guy, you know? V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,338
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2018
    Karma:
    +5,817
    @Fino has summed up my own strategies too, at least in items 3-7. I'm off anxiety meds now I've got some stability back in my day job and exercise is something I'm very limited on due to my mobility issues, although I do watch what I eat, but the rest of it reads like deja vu.


    And the rest of it reads like deja Vu....


    And the rest of it reads like deja Vu....


    Not masking and pandering to the need to blend in helps a lot too btw, but that was a relatively recent discovery


    Deja Vu.....
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2019
    • Funny x 3
    • Like x 1
    • Agree x 1
    • Friendly x 1
    • Useful x 1
  6. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,106
    Joined:
    May 19, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,521
    Thank you, all, very much, for your responses and sharing your strategies! I am, currently, working, but look forward to responding as soon as possible!:grapes:
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  7. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,106
    Joined:
    May 19, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,521
    Thank you, again!

    Alex, yes, everything you mentioned is helpful, and I truly appreciate your input and words of encouragement! As I do, all of the input that has been shared by all. I do some of the things on your list, in my efforts to manage generalized anxiety, of which I have been managing well, in large part as the result of taking CBD oil, and, like you, I utilize diet and exercise, as well as yoga, immersing myself in nature, constantly, and by avoiding overstimulating environments, as much as possible. However, I have not found these remedies effective in my efforts to reduce social anxiety, per se.

    Thus far, the only remedy I have found to be effective at keeping social anxiety at bay, has been the amino acid, D-L Phenylalanine, however, it stopped working after several months of taking it, which I have, since, read can happen. If someone were to ask me if I would recommend it to combat social anxiety, I would say, yes/definitely, as it completely eliminated my symptoms. As always, I would strongly encourage doing research on any and all medications/supplements/plant based medications, and so on, due to possible side effects and interactions with other medications one might take.

    I have been unable to take conventional medication, due to an inability to metabolize it, properly. However, as my social anxiety has become more extensive/extreme, I have become, somewhat, desperate to find a new source of relief, and, have wondered if perhaps, a medication for social anxiety might exist, of which I could in fact, have the ability to utilize/metabolize, properly.

    As the result of working with a therapist, and some extensive introspection, I have figured out the cause, and have wondered if, merely, working through specific, contributing factors, might relieve, or, even cure my anxiety, although, conversely, I have pondered the possibility that my brain wiring or chemical make-up has changed as the result of trauma, if that is possible, and, if perhaps, it might be impossible to eliminate social anxiety without the use of medication, or a different supplement, or natural remedy that I may not be aware of.

    I wish to thank all of you, again, for your input, for sharing what you do, and how social anxiety effects you. I intended to reply, individually, however, I have returned home later than expected, and I am in much need of sleep, as it seems. Thank you, again! :cherryblossom:
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2019
    • Like Like x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  8. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,701
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +5,140
    I will answer your PM ASAP! The water that rained on my room was to such an extent that it has to have extensive repairs, barring me from the room for several days, which included my computer, and I don't think I could type a PM with my phone!

    Which medications did you try? If you think it might be helpful to list, otherwise you don't have to.

    Is it an option to cycle on and off the supplement that stopped working?
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  9. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,106
    Joined:
    May 19, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,521
    I am so, very sorry to hear this, and hope you will let me know if there is anything I can do to be of help to you! Thank you for your additional input. Please don't rush or feel pressured to reply to my message. Take all the time you need!

    I will reply to your inquiries, as well as other's posts, more extensively, upon my return/tomorrow. Thank you very much, for your desire to be of help to me!
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,685
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2017
    Karma:
    +10,918
    How much of it is based on your thoughts and your reaction to your thoughts?
     
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,156
    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,411
    I avoid unstructured social interaction. Nearly always. When I try to go to some event or thing I want to go to or have been invited to, I usually turn around before getting there. It's been a nice walk, I say. And phew, so glad I am not going. This has shrunk my social life.

    I think a possible help is to go with someone, but I dont know many people well enough. If any. Plus in my experience the person never stays with me the whole time. Then I go and sit somewhere quiet. Or leave.

    I have also tried joining groups, and hanging out with people I meet through groups, sometimes they have really liked me and been kind to me, but I am limited, sometimes can be fun and join in if I know most people and it's informal, or other times can't manage well, and don't enjoy events they want me to be at, but go anyway to be acceptable or please them. Or not to be lonely.

    A lego event would be nice. Not a night club. But people rarely only want to do lego collage and poetry....
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Informative Informative x 1
  12. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,726
    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2017
    Karma:
    +4,697
    "combat"
    "overcome"

    Those are powerful words.
    In my own case Loren, I'm not sure I'll ever lose anxiety for good :)

    Just reduce it's impact in certain situations enabling me to carry out whatever it was I'm supposed to be doing.

    I'm still (quietly) wary, afraid, overthinking throughout,
    It simmers or smoulders in the background.
    It's always there.

    I'm just starting to trust myself to manage some thought patterns.
    (And at the very least, not being so terrified of becoming overwhelmed, it happens. I don't like it, but it happens sometimes)

    my thoughts being my 'drip feed' for my physical symptoms.
    When I Interrupt and change some thoughts about myself and the situation I'm in,
    I'm altering the chemical combination of my own, natural drip feed thus reducing intensity of physical effects of anxiety.
    (not eradicating, just reducing. Enough to enable functioning again)

    It's easier to write than to practice, and it does take practice :)
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  13. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    5,167
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2014
    Karma:
    +10,541
    If I feel I can't do something or overwhelmed because of anxiety, I try to find a way to make it 'feel ok' to do. For example. I don't want to visit a relative on my own, but if my partner is with me, or another family member, it feels ok or somehow 'acceptable' and I will do it. Or, I don't want to phone someone, but writing a text message will be ok.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
  14. shysnail

    shysnail Active Member

    Messages:
    20
    Joined:
    May 14, 2019
    Karma:
    +78
    Other people have good advice, I particularly like some of the strategies @Fino suggested. I'm plagued by social anxiety so I'm definitely not advising from the standpoint of someone who has cured themselves, but something I've found helps is actually being upfront with people and telling them I have social anxiety. It makes me feel less like they're going to judge me harshly if I can't do something or if I'm awkward. Whether or not they do, I don't know, but as long as I can think that, it helps my anxiety a little.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Informative Informative x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  15. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,701
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +5,140
    I could be wrong, but my current stance is that I would advise not thinking of a "cure" as a possibility but looking at it the same as I assume most of us think of Autism and its other manifestations.

    The goals are:
    1. Reduction
    2. Management
    3. Understanding

    But not "curing," I don't think, right now.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
  16. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,106
    Joined:
    May 19, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,521
    Thank you! I haven't ever taken anything for social anxiety, apart from DLPA, and wasn't sure if a medication existed that targets social anxiety. As you know, I practice Traditional Chinese Medicine, and I take other plant based remedies, however, nothing for social anxiety. I tried taking a Chinese remedy for generalized anxiety at one time, but, I experienced negative side effects, which made sense, as it is also used for depression, and any medication for depression has negative effects on me. I have never been diagnosed with depression, although, I think I have low moods from time to time, and DLPA relieved that, as well. In my case, generalized anxiety and social anxiety are two different entities.

    In regard to your inquiry about cycling the supplement, I thought of that, however, I have not been able to find any information about it. I have only found articles mentioning that it can stop being effective. Would you happen to know how long I should wait, to give it another try, and, if there is anything comparable to DLPA, that I could perhaps use to alternate? I'm not sure how good it would be for my mind, if I were to take it intermittently, due to the alterations it causes, but, if I was able to alternate it with something that produced similar effects, that would be great. Thank you, Alex!
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2019 at 12:01 AM
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,106
    Joined:
    May 19, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,521
    Hi Thinx. Your post, accurately, describes me and some of the things I experience. Including the lego aspect. I quite enjoy creating things with Lego, and I've participated in Lego, architecture competitions in the past. : ) I imagine getting together with others, to create Lego collages, would indeed, be very nice!

    I agree with you and Progster, that it is a great deal, easier to do things when you go with someone, or, are with someone that you know/are familiar with. In group settings, I, most often don't have the ability to join in a conversation, and, apart from going off on my own, I don't know what else to do, so I will leave. I usually, cannot find it in me to mention that I am leaving, and will slip out, inconspicuously, to avoid attention, having to go through the production of goodbyes, or, talking to anyone.

    I joined a couple meetup groups, of which I had become accustomed to, however, at this juncture, like you, I have been on my way there, and wind up turning around and going home, or, somewhere else on my own. This is one of my issues I wish to resolve. I had, initially, found my interactions to be easy and pleasant, but, now, I find myself anxious, and unable to conceive of, merely, showing up. Over time, this has lead to periods of feeling quite isolated, and in turn has had the ability to bring me down. Thank you for sharing what you experience!
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2019 at 12:07 AM
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  18. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,106
    Joined:
    May 19, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,521
    With regard to in-person interactions, I am not sure how much of my anxiety is based on my thoughts and my reactions to my thoughts', but, I imagine, most, if not all of it. When I am here, on the forum, I can say for certain, that my anxiety is, almost, entirely, based on my thoughts and my reactions to my thoughts. Contrary to what most members express, I find socializing on the forum, to be far more difficult, than socializing in person. I have noticed that a couple of my OCD symptoms play a part in the difficulty I experience, here, as well. Thank you for your inquiry! If you happen to have any advice, based on my answer, please feel free to share! Although, no pressure to do so, of course!
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2019 at 12:09 AM
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  19. Loren

    Loren Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,106
    Joined:
    May 19, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,521
    Well, you seem to be doing great! I always find myself in admiration of your ability to express yourself and/or ask for support, here. Something of which has been a major feat for me. You have inspired me, for what it's worth!
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  20. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,497
    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2018
    Karma:
    +6,316
    Easier when we're not face to face. :)
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Like Like x 1