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On the spectrum or social anxiety?

Emerson6

Active Member
Hello, everyone. I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing here but here goes.

I guess I’m wondering if it’s possible I’ve gone undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. My mother didn’t believe in mental health and we only ever went to the doctor when it was absolutely needed. I’m a 23yro female, and I’m very socially awkward.

From a young age, I always felt different. I would retreat to be by myself and read A LOT because I felt like I knew I didn’t belong. Other people seemed to always be so close, have everything to talk about with their “best” friends, and it all came so easily to them. I never had a “best” friend even through high school.

I played sports, but i was rarely invited to social gatherings, sat next to on the bus, or reached out to. Kids would pick on me in elementary school until my mom pulled me out and homeschooled me.

I always felt like I didn’t belong. Social interactions, while I navigate through them, are difficult for me. I don’t always know what to do or say or when to do it. I often misread cues/facial expressions, etc. Aside from my SO and siblings, I have 2 people I would call my friends. People don’t seem to like me (in terms of friendship) very much, and for awhile I beat myself up about it, but I’ve come to accept it. If it weren’t for my SO, I wouldn’t have the 2 friends that I have now.

I’ve had therapists tell me I have social anxiety, but I’m not entirely sure that’s all that’s contributing. I have been diagnosed with adult ADHD, and sometimes I get so fixated on a specific subject I’ll spend hours reading and researching anything that’s available. It’s hard to stop once I get stuck on the subject. I’m not anal about my day to day routine, and it changes from time to time, but some days little things go wrong and it throws me off.

My emotions have always been difficult to control/understand, and while they’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older, I still struggle in some areas. I’m not super sensitive to sounds, but if there’s a lot going on, I feel overwhelmed and shut down. Sometimes I avoid talking to people because my mind processes things at a higher level and i know that they won’t understand what I’m trying to say.

Idk. Maybe I’m just overthinking my life, but I can’t shake the feeling, 23 years later, that I’m different than those around me. Maybe I have high functioning autism? What do you guys think? I’m open to any questions/comments/etc.

thanks for taking the time to read my post.
 
Hi and welcome. Have you done some online tests? That feeling of outsiderness and your description of your life and the way you relate to others seem typical of the Autism spectrum. We are all different. I hope you enjoy it here and will join in discussions if you feel like it, and see what you think. Maybe some strategies or ideas will be useful.

:watermelon::grapes::shortcake::redapple::pear::shavedice::strawberry::greenapple::cookie::pineapple::cherries:
 
Hi,
I don't really know anything about ADHD but what you describe sounds very similar to the type of experiences folks on the spectrum have. As far as if it is possible to go thru mental health professionals and be undiagnosed? Yes, not only possible but I am tempted to say almost likely. Autism is still something of a mystery in the profession and opinions of what is and what isn't autism varies.
 
Hi and welcome. Have you done some online tests? That feeling of outsiderness and your description of your life and the way you relate to others seem typical of the Autism spectrum. We are all different. I hope you enjoy it here and will join in discussions if you feel like it, and see what you think. Maybe some strategies or ideas will be useful.

:watermelon::grapes::shortcake::redapple::pear::shavedice::strawberry::greenapple::cookie::pineapple::cherries:
Yes, I’ve taken several and they all placed me on the spectrum.
 
It's not unusual to have ASD and ADHD both diagnosed. The online tests give a useful indication for adults. Some here aren't diagnosed, and in my case I don't know if I would be, as I mask well and have used masking and strategies to cope reasonably well with a career. In the past diagnosis wasn't common for people who appeared to cope.
 
Hello, everyone. I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing here but here goes.

I guess I’m wondering if it’s possible I’ve gone undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. My mother didn’t believe in mental health and we only ever went to the doctor when it was absolutely needed. I’m a 23yro female, and I’m very socially awkward.

From a young age, I always felt different. I would retreat to be by myself and read A LOT because I felt like I knew I didn’t belong. Other people seemed to always be so close, have everything to talk about with their “best” friends, and it all came so easily to them. I never had a “best” friend even through high school.

I played sports, but i was rarely invited to social gatherings, sat next to on the bus, or reached out to. Kids would pick on me in elementary school until my mom pulled me out and homeschooled me.

I always felt like I didn’t belong. Social interactions, while I navigate through them, are difficult for me. I don’t always know what to do or say or when to do it. I often misread cues/facial expressions, etc. Aside from my SO and siblings, I have 2 people I would call my friends. People don’t seem to like me (in terms of friendship) very much, and for awhile I beat myself up about it, but I’ve come to accept it. If it weren’t for my SO, I wouldn’t have the 2 friends that I have now.

I’ve had therapists tell me I have social anxiety, but I’m not entirely sure that’s all that’s contributing. I have been diagnosed with adult ADHD, and sometimes I get so fixated on a specific subject I’ll spend hours reading and researching anything that’s available. It’s hard to stop once I get stuck on the subject. I’m not anal about my day to day routine, and it changes from time to time, but some days little things go wrong and it throws me off.

My emotions have always been difficult to control/understand, and while they’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older, I still struggle in some areas. I’m not super sensitive to sounds, but if there’s a lot going on, I feel overwhelmed and shut down. Sometimes I avoid talking to people because my mind processes things at a higher level and i know that they won’t understand what I’m trying to say.

Idk. Maybe I’m just overthinking my life, but I can’t shake the feeling, 23 years later, that I’m different than those around me. Maybe I have high functioning autism? What do you guys think? I’m open to any questions/comments/etc.

thanks for taking the time to read my post.

From your description it is possible. Some people mask their behaviors well so that it is not obvious that you are autistic. I would start with a self test for ASD / Aspergers, but it generally has to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist who specializes in autism spectrum disorders.
 
I am in my late 30s and was diagnosed a couple years back, first with ADHD, and then later with ASD. A lot of what you describe is familiar to me. At times I don't feel "autistic enough", but I've come to realize that for some of us, we bounce around near the intersections of ADHD, ASD, social anxiety, and other things. Although I just keep my diagnoses to myself and my wife, this past year or so I've really started to identify with ASD more strongly. It's allowed me to accept certain aspects of my personality and not beat myself up about certain things, such as struggling in certain social circles. In some sense I pick my battles and am far more aware of my strengths and weaknesses.

I encourage you to explore your possible diagnoses with an open mind, seek an evaluation even if it is just a curiosity. Read forums about others' experiences. It may take a while and your mind will swing all over the place, but I hope that eventually it will lead you to understand yourself much better, and many prior experiences will make a lot more sense. I'm finding a lot more peace with myself new a couple years since my diagnosis.
 
Hi and Welcome!
aspietests.org - do some tests here to see if you have autism.
From your description it might be HF ASD (ASD 1) because I think strong fixation to one thing isn't from social anxiety, altrough ASD and social anxiety can be joint.
 
Welcome to the forums! I can relate with a ton of what you wrote. If you are having a really hard time and are very concerned, the best thing to do would be to go and see a professional (if you can). There are a lot of online tests you can take but you need to answer them objectively rather than subjectively (which is hard to do). To get a more accurate result you have to throw your emotions out the window and answer completely factually.

Welcome again!
 
Thanks for opening up about how you feel. We all have questions but this site helps you come onboard and navigate the plane ticket to flying on the spectrum. Welcome.
 
Welcome!!! You sound a lot like me actually. No one wanted anything to do with me when I was in school. My mother also didn't believe in mental health, and even when I knew I needed help, no one was any help to me until I became an adult and could get it on my own (and by then, the damage was done, and the "help" I was able to receive did more harm than good in any case.)
 
Welcome!!! You sound a lot like me actually. No one wanted anything to do with me when I was in school. My mother also didn't believe in mental health, and even when I knew I needed help, no one was any help to me until I became an adult and could get it on my own (and by then, the damage was done, and the "help" I was able to receive did more harm than good in any case.)

You sound like you’re describing me! I also had behavioral issues when I was younger. I’ve outgrown/learned healthier ways to cope as I’ve gotten older, but my mother always told/reminded me that I was just a bad kid. It wasn’t until I sought out help due to my ED that someone was like “No, baby girl. You need help” and I realized it wasn’t all in my head. I’m not sure if it’s HF ASD, but sometimes I felt so alone/outside the normal I believe I was an alien. Lol!
 
Hi and Welcome!
aspietests.org - do some tests here to see if you have autism.
From your description it might be HF ASD (ASD 1) because I think strong fixation to one thing isn't from social anxiety, altrough ASD and social anxiety can be joint.

I’ve done a few online tests and they all have placed me on the spectrum. I’m not sure if it’s cause I’m answering them wrong, or if I’m actually on the spectrum. The fixation is a big thing for me, personally. I was told when I was diagnosed last year with ADHD that it was part of that, but the fixation is to the point of spending hours reading, researching, acting, etc. to the point I physically cannot focus or do anything else that needs to be done. But thank you for the advice and welcome!
 
I am in my late 30s and was diagnosed a couple years back, first with ADHD, and then later with ASD. A lot of what you describe is familiar to me. At times I don't feel "autistic enough", but I've come to realize that for some of us, we bounce around near the intersections of ADHD, ASD, social anxiety, and other things. Although I just keep my diagnoses to myself and my wife, this past year or so I've really started to identify with ASD more strongly. It's allowed me to accept certain aspects of my personality and not beat myself up about certain things, such as struggling in certain social circles. In some sense I pick my battles and am far more aware of my strengths and weaknesses.

I encourage you to explore your possible diagnoses with an open mind, seek an evaluation even if it is just a curiosity. Read forums about others' experiences. It may take a while and your mind will swing all over the place, but I hope that eventually it will lead you to understand yourself much better, and many prior experiences will make a lot more sense. I'm finding a lot more peace with myself new a couple years since my diagnosis.

Did you feel torn about “wanting” a diagnosis? And it’s not so much as “I want to be diagnosed with autism,” but more so “I want to be diagnosed with something that will help me make sense of things.” Does that make sense? If there’s a diagnosis, then it’s real. Even if it’s not asd then at least I can point to it and remind myself THAT is why.
 
Hi and Welcome!
aspietests.org - do some tests here to see if you have autism.
From your description it might be HF ASD (ASD 1) because I think strong fixation to one thing isn't from social anxiety, altrough ASD and social anxiety can be joint.

I just went back to that site and took some tests that I hadn't taken before...it was interesting. I found the tests on social stuff to be lacking in their interpretation...for example, the friendship quotient tells me how important friendship is to me (very important) but doesn't say anything about how good I am at it (not good at it at all...thank God for the internet, without it I'd be almost completely alone. The internet is my crutch.)

I scored even lower than neurotypicals on the "masking" test. :eek: It's not because social interactions are easy for me. It's because I just gave up completely and don't care anymore. The results make it look like I'm not just normal, I'm SUPERnormal. :rolleyes:
 
Did you feel torn about “wanting” a diagnosis? And it’s not so much as “I want to be diagnosed with autism,” but more so “I want to be diagnosed with something that will help me make sense of things.” Does that make sense? If there’s a diagnosis, then it’s real. Even if it’s not asd then at least I can point to it and remind myself THAT is why.

I did feel a bit torn, but overall I did want an ASD diagnosis. I remember after my evaluation actually worrying about not getting a diagnosis. I think I was already convinced I had ASD and started to identify with it some time before seeking a diagnosis.

By the way, I totally identify with your description of becoming fixated on things. For me, fixation has allowed me to become very successful at certain things, but also can be a problem when I need to switch gears often or become fixated on something other than what I need/ought to be doing. I hear the word "hyperfocus" a lot both in the ADHD and ASD community and I think it is common in people with either diagnosis.
 
or example, the friendship quotient tells me how important friendship is to me (very important) but doesn't say anything about how good I am at it (not good at it at all
If I have done the friendship quotient during the school year I would have scored higher because the only friends that I have are in school and don't see them outside of school. Schools were closed since 13 March, but reopening on 7 September :)
 

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