• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

omg, yummy, free me from this

Aspychata

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
Did you ever meet someone, and get totally overwhelmed, only to wake up and find that they thought you liked them because they were (insert in anything here).
 
I'm not entirely sure I'm understanding your question, but I have liked people because of straits I thought they had, only to later realise that I either basically made that up about them, or that they were misleading me, and that they are in fact nothing like I thought and not likeable at all.

Edit: upon coming back and re-reading the question I'm pretty sure that I in fact didn't understand the question :sweatsmile: I'm don't think I've ever been in that sort of situation.
 
Last edited:
@Aspychata

"Did you ever meet someone, and get totally overwhelmed, only to wake up and find that they thought you liked them because they were (insert in anything here)."

Are you saying that you met a person, got overwhelmed, and behaved in a way
that caused that person to think you liked them? And that person supposed the
liking was due to a quality or attribute that person may or may not have embodied?

I am going to try thinking of this by adding attributes in the "insert in anything here" part.

OK.

So the person thinks you like them because they were *rich,* *fat,* *incredibly verbal,*
*cute,* *pathetic*....etc Any of those or any other description. Whatever.

Is there a problem?
Were you in fact attracted to someone based on a quality?
Or concerned that the person thinks it was merely that one particular quality,
whereas there was more to it than that?
Or are you feeling mixed up because the feature the person identified had nothing
to do with it?

I am trying to figure out what you're saying.
 
Aspychata said:
Did you ever meet someone, and get totally overwhelmed, only to wake up and find that they thought you liked them because they were
Click to expand...

Intelligent or attractive or had nice blue or green eyes. It's happened. :D
 
Last edited:
l really care for the person, and l don't care what he has or doesn't have. But sometimes being on the spectrum, l am unable to read clues of how people perceive themselves in relation to others. l trust my judgement but it seems he second guesses my involvement with him and inserts his reasoning instead of just 100% attraction of the complete individual. Such is life. Maybe somebody has a prior experience.
 
If I woke up, and the person was there, then I would figure they liked me for at least 5 seconds. Maybe twice! Lol
 
Aspychata said:
l really care for the person, and l don't care what he has or doesn't have. But sometimes being on the spectrum, l am unable to read clues of how people perceive themselves in relation to others. l trust my judgement but it seems he second guesses my involvement with him and inserts his reasoning instead of just 100% attraction of the complete individual. Such is life. Maybe somebody has a prior experience.
Click to expand...
So, to be sure I'm getting this right, the situation is this: you are in a relationship with someone, you are with them because you are generally attracted to them as a "complete individual" (I'm not sure what this means, are there no particular things you can pinpoint about them which makes them particularly attractive to you?), but they incorrectly think you like them due to a specific thing(s)? Have you discussed this with them and corrected their incorrect assumptions?
 
Yeah, I've tried reading this over and over since it's been posted and every time I do, I get even more confused each time; it's not quite coherent enough for me to understand
 
Isadoorian said:
Yeah, I've tried reading this over and over since it's been posted and every time I do, I get even more confused each time; it's not quite coherent enough for me to understand
Click to expand...

It's a open-ended question for u to interpret as you wish, because relationships are confusing in general.
 
NothingToSeeHere said:
So, to be sure I'm getting this right, the situation is this: you are in a relationship with someone, you are with them because you are generally attracted to them as a "complete individual" (I'm not sure what this means, are there no particular things you can pinpoint about them which makes them particularly attractive to you?), but they incorrectly think you like them due to a specific thing(s)? Have you discussed this with them and corrected their incorrect assumptions?
Click to expand...

The whole tamole, the conplete package, l think he maybe on the spectrum, there is a huge list of things l like about him, and l would be kicked ooff the forum if l wrote endlessly, but in a nutshell, it feels so great, that l forget about time with this guy.
 
Aspychata said:
The whole tamole, the conplete package, l think he maybe on the spectrum, there is a huge list of things l like about him, and l would be kicked ooff the forum if l wrote endlessly, but in a nutshell, it feels so great, that l forget about time with this guy.
Click to expand...

So, what's the problem?

You like him.
It feels great.

There are lots of things you like about him.

What is the difficulty with that?
You don't want to specify any particular aspect, because it's not just one thing you
like, it's the combination....yes?

But he brings up details that he says are contributing to you liking him......
 
tree said:
So, what's the problem?

You like him.
It feels great.

There are lots of things you like about him.

What is the difficulty with that?
You don't want to specify any particular aspect, because it's not just one thing you
like, it's the combination....yes?

But he brings up details that he says are contributing to you liking him......
Click to expand...

yes, sometimes l feel he doubts my feelings for him, that can hurt.
 
Last night I read this and thought "WHOA, I must be tired," and went to bed.

Now from all the posts, do you mean that someone you like questions you liking them, insisting they're not worthy? Maybe arguing with you about what you like about them or often asking you to explain what you like about them, only to not accept or debate those reasons?

Because if that's at all what you mean, I've had that plenty!

Now if someone says to me, "I don't deserve you," I believe them and leave. :)
 
The example you pose is a bit cryptic, but I think you are wondering how or why someone thinks you like them, then believe it was something that doesn't interest you at all. I'm thinking you only have to explain what it is that you actually see or feel. ASD is like being through the looking glass sometimes. If a misunderstanding is new to you - bravo, but I don't see how a conversation about attraction would do any harm. I can imagine that this person is accustomed to being popular for specific reasons, each of them more extreme or ostentatious than the other. I'm suspect that there might be a big ego involved. On the other hand, good looking people know that their looks get them dates and/or free drinks. No surprise there. If you want to clarify what this person is thinking, just explain yourself. I don't like people who make bold assumptions about others, so I already don't like this person. It's your call.
 
I think it happens to us all. We meet someone, think they're the bees knees but as time goes on it turns out they're anything but.
 
Woah woah woah. I read it yesterday a few times and then today and I'm as confused as ever. Relationships, huh? But I think I finally get it. You mean that you like a guy and you're together but he doubts you really like him because [insert]? This business is so convoluted. I had three other meanings ready too ;)

Well, if someone doubts my feelings due to their own lack of confidence/self-esteem, I can't do much with this... Although I do try to make sure to tell them that I love them more often (they seem to like it a lot) and to do small things for them, write with things like 'good morning', 'how is your day going?', compliment them etc. Seem more interested in their life overall.

Other understanding I had was: you did something and other person thought you liked them because of it. It happens very often when I space out and 'stare' by accident and get flustered when they 'catch me'. Or when I'm just being friendly. What is it about being friendly and interested in people's answers that they think you want to go out with them?

Another was: you like someone because of something they have like eye colour or intelligence. Well, it happens, I suppose? There was that one guy that had brilliant blue eyes, I've never seen this kind of colour before. Although, it was more 'attraction towards a colour(?)' than a 'physical/relationship attraction'.

Then: you get really overhelmed due to something about a person and make a fool of yourself. Hm, does silly gadgets count? I met a guy once that was wearing a gadget that can be put on a nose like a mask in the shape of male genitals. Imagine that situation: you just walk on the pavement and then suddenly see someone like that with no warning whatsoever. Believe me that my brain crashed!

My brain hurts now.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom