NTs seem to be either unable or unwilling to grasp the concept of executive dysfunction

[dhl02]

I'm absolutely sick and tired of trying to explain executive dysfunction to NTs.
Dismissal as "making excuses for your bad behavior" is getting tiring.
Can NTs grasp this concept? Is it a lost cause trying to explain it to them?

I'm getting to the point where I can't have a friendship with non-family members that cannot grasp this concept and accept it as part of having autism.

 

[Thinx]

Poor Executive function issues are often part of both ASD and ADHD, there's plenty written about this you could try directing them too. What would be an example of how these issues play out in your friendships, maybe we can help better if you say more? Poor Executive function may make me disorganised and late sometimes, is that the kind of issue you mean?

 

[Aspychata]

l believe conceptually, executive dysfunction is actually hard to grasp by a non ND person. It doesn't make sense to them. Maybe what seems crystal clear and understandable to you, seems vague and like a cop-out to them.

It is frustrating for you and them. Anyways, l hope you can come here and feel accepted and understood.

 

[dhl02]

Poor Executive function issues are often part of both ASD and ADHD, there's plenty written about this you could try directing them too. What would be an example of how these issues play out in your friendships, maybe we can help better if you say more? Poor Executive function may make me disorganised and late sometimes, is that the kind of issue you mean?

No, more about not being able to consistently take action to complete a goal, or being really enthusiastic about a goal and then having trouble starting and/or losing focus/interest really quickly, only to continue to try again and have the same result.

It's a miracle I completed my BS.

 

[Hylian]

This is very frustrating whenever it happens, especially being told I'm "making excuses" when I try to explain why I didn't get something done either exactly how they wanted me to or in the exact timeframe they wanted me to. Plus the unwelcome advice that usually is variations of, "Just make yourself do it."

There definitely are NT people who don't have ADHD and can grasp executive dysfunction, and I think most are capable of doing it, but a lot seem to just flat out not want to. No matter how many sources you give to them or how you explain it, it's just easier for them to say it's laziness, which is ironically just a cop out for them.

 

[Fino]

Adderall would be very helpful!

But generally it doesn't matter why you don't do things. People just care that you didn't do them. Because they want it done. And that's all they're thinking about. Unless you had some sort of emergency.

 

[Progster]

They think that, because most people have some mld issues that don't really affect their life that much, that it must be the same for everyone.

 

[Crossbreed]

I'm absolutely sick and tired of trying to explain executive dysfunction to NTs.
Dismissal as "making excuses for your bad behavior" is getting tiring.
Can NTs grasp this concept? Is it a lost cause trying to explain it to them?

"Executive Function" is a neuro-technical concept. It should not surprise you when a person outside of those disciplines does not grasp it.

What is worse is when our doctors bring us up to speed on these concepts, others are offended that we claim to know about them (in contrast to our academic history).

 

[All-Rounder]

I have the same issue. People are distrustful and suspicious of my motives and there's no surefire way to get them to start believing it for long. They revert to their beliefs and get angry and hurt, feel used and misled.

It's worse when someone who doesn't know me takes up their side and tries to make me feel for them starting them a pity party. As if the ones they often start aren't enough.

 

[Aspychata]

I have the same issue. People are distrustful and suspicious of my motives and there's no surefire way to get them to start believing it for long. They revert to their beliefs and get angry and hurt, feel used and misled.

It's worse when someone who doesn't know me takes up their side and tries to make me feel for them starting them a pity party. As if the ones they often start aren't enough.

I find that people have assigned roles for me in their head. My best bosses let me run with responsibilty. My other bosses question everything l do which is tiring.

 

[Judge]

Dismissal as "making excuses for your bad behavior" is getting tiring.

I find there are a number of those who for whatever reasons default to such a mentality. As if just to put a name and neurological condition to something is merely a ploy as an excuse for socially negative behavior.

As if autism and many other conditions are mostly just a matter of attitude alone. I often wonder how such people manage to arrive at such conclusions in the first place. Disturbing to say the least. Though it does tie into that age-old saying about "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps". As if we are all inherently able- and responsible for getting ourselves out of any situation. Which seems like a veiled perception of Social Darwinism where medical intervention and reform of any kind are discouraged. -Very old and outdated thinking.

I suppose for some it's simply easier to rationalize than attempt to understand complex neurological considerations that can exist with much of anyone. Just another reason to refrain from discussing one's autism other than on a "need-to-know" basis only.

 

[onlything]

For many people, NTs or otherwise, if they can't clearly see it, then it doesn't exist.

We have a stronger understanding of these issues more often only because we experienced them in a way ourselves.

 

[Misery]

For many people, NTs or otherwise, if they can't clearly see it, then it doesn't exist.

Sad and irritating, but true.

I dunno about everyone else but I gave up LONG ago in trying to explain pretty much anything to anyone outside of extremely specific places (this forum, mostly).

It you cant pick it up and bash them over the head with it, it's not blatant and obvious enough for most people to spot it, let alone acknowledge the mere possibility that it is there.

 

[Au Naturel]

An NT is no more capable of understanding the issues an autistic person experiences than someone who is colorblind from birth is to understand color. If your brain isn't wired that way, you can't imagine behaving a certain way unless you chose to do so. The notion that everything is a choice and that we can be anything we want thru the force of free will is beaten into us our entire lives. People believe that who and what they are is entirely a matter of choice and that if you are different it is because you want to be different.

Some of us learn the unhappy lesson that it just ain't so. I like to use the phrase "involuntarily unique."

 

[Au Naturel]

"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps"

LOL! Few people understand that the phrase was originally coined to mean to do something that is impossible. You only end up pushing yourself deeper into your boots which remain fixed firmly on the ground.

 

[All-Rounder]

An NT is no more capable of understanding the issues an autistic person experiences than someone who is colorblind from birth is to understand color. If your brain isn't wired that way, you can't imagine behaving a certain way unless you chose to do so.

 

[Au Naturel]

Now if we could only get executive dysfunction glasses for NTs to try on...

 

[All-Rounder]

Now if we could only get executive dysfunction glasses for NTs to try on...

They might deny that we are actually experiencing that. Sorta like: that does happen somewhere but not with ppl i know.

 

[SDRSpark]

They might deny that we are actually experiencing that. Sorta like: that does happen somewhere but not with ppl i know.

Either that or they'd claim it's actually normal and you just can't handle it well enough. *facepalm*

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

I think the OP should provide more specifics about a particular situation where this problem occurs. I find the comments defeatist and not helpful.