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Not even trying to make friends or date

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by Markness, Jan 21, 2020.

  1. Markness

    Markness Well-Known Member

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    I haven’t really tried to make friends or try to get dates lately despite feeling lonely and socially isolated. I mainly just go to work and after that go back to my room to surf the web, play a video game, read a book (though I sometimes fail asleep doing so), try to play my guitar or draw (before giving up in frustration), or just simply lie on my bed. If I do go back out, I either grab a bite to eat or go spend money on my hobbies.
     
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  2. AGXStarseed

    AGXStarseed Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like what I do on a daily basis.
    Are there any autism groups near you or any events that include your interests that you could attend?
     
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  3. Markness

    Markness Well-Known Member

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    I used to be part of a local Autism/Aspergers support group but I grew out of it. Most of the people in it still rely on mommy and daddy to drive them around (I don’t even though I still live with my mother), they are very insular minded, and suffer from religious brainwashing. I used to be part of a Meet Up group that was supposed to cater to geeks/nerds but I stopped going after constantly getting pushed to the wayside and getting scolded by the group leader’s girlfriend over something absolutely stupid.

    EDIT: I live in Temple, Texas, which is part of the Killeen-Temple-Fort Hood metropolitan area.
     
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  4. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Eh, I know how you feel. I get lonely sometimes, but when I think of going and trying to make friends, it's like, ehhhhh.... I'd have to deal with people if I did that.... and then I just dont do it.

    Which is made even stupider by the fact that I have zero restrictions when it comes to getting around. I can take my van and just go wherever, and since I dont work, I've got no time restrictions either. So I COULD go meet people. I just dont. Just seems like so much trouble to go deal with people that are likely to turn out to be jerks anyway.

    As for the bit about autism meetup groups, been to a couple of those myself. The problem with those though is you never know what kind of group you'll get, or what kind of organizer will be behind it. If one of those two things has a problem, the group will be a waste of time.

    Well, group events are problematic at best anyway.
     
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  5. Markness

    Markness Well-Known Member

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    Where I live, people are generally cut from the same cloth. They shop at Wal-Mart, eat at McDonald’s or Chick-fil-A (especially the latter because of the “Christian values” the company espouses”), listen to poppy music or country or rap depending on the demographic, watch war or drama films, read James Patterson or Janet Evanovich books, obsess about football, and attend Baptist churches.

    Sure, there are people who break the mold but even then they are insular minded. When it comes to video games, they are only interested in Call of Duty or Halo; Blizzard titles but especially Overwatch these days; Mortal Kombat and occasionally Street Fighter or Tekken; Bethesda games but largely just Fallout, and Nintendo games. They either have never heard of or trash franchises like Disgaea or Guilty Gear. Even Final Fantasy gets considered “gay” by them on occasion. When it comes to music, there are some who like rock music but certain bands get preferred over others. I encounter people who love AC/DC and Led Zeppelin but they’ll think Black Sabbath are inferior to them. Metallica (though most people I encounter who like them are only familiar with the black album and onward having never listened to their thrash era) and Ozzy Osbourne (despite his fanboys hating Black Sabbath) are considered the kings of metal and everyone else either “****ing sucks” or is “gay”. Fort Hood Metal bands (as I call them) like Slipknot, Godsmack, Avenged Sevenfold, Five Finger Death Punch, Mudvayne, etc. are considered “bad ass” while Napalm Death are “noise” or unknown to them. When it comes to anime, if it’s not “Dragon Ball Z” or “Sailor Moon”, you are going to be hard pressed to talk to anyone about any other franchise. There are a growing number of people who like My Hero Academia but they don’t want to hang out with me since I am either just a guy who checks out library books to them or they already have an established social group.
     
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  6. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    This is why I dont really interact with other gamers, or try too much to talk about games with people. Most of my friends, what few there are, are like this. Dont get me wrong... while some of those games are crap, some are good. I've certainly always been a fan of Nintendo (but they do stupid things at times). But.... ehhh.

    I'm a big fan of indie games mostly... quickly was disillusioned by AAA games a few years ago when they started going downhill. I've also REALLY been into Guilty Gear (the older ones mostly) to the point that, as a cosplayer, my main cosplay has always been from that series. Bridget, specifically. Back in the PS2 days everyone knew who that is and the series as a whole. But in more recent times, well... my nickname given to me by certain friends is "Rosette" because everyone mistakes me for that character (outfit is similar) when I'm doing that outfit. Which would be less embarrassing if I hadnt heard the name so much that I'll automatically answer to it. I'll never hear the end of that.

    *ahem* Back to games... Retro games too, for me, huge fan of those. Heck, the whole reason I got a VR setup was so I could create a virtual 80s arcade (uses roms, and I have *all* of them). Pretty much all of my favorite modern games are indie stuffs though. Some are ones that a decent number of people have heard of, like Binding of Isaac or FNAF. Others, not so much... games like Streets of Rogue (one of my favorites of all time, period) and Hyperrogue (good luck finding anyone who even knows what that is. Heck, when it comes to not knowing games, well... you are the first person I've seen in a LONG time who even knows what Guilty Gear is. Which is depressing, considering how HUGE that series used to be.

    And I tell ya, it's always been frustrating. Talk with the average gamer, and they not only dont know what any of those are, they wont even consider trying them. They dont have TEH GRAFIX. Those same players will then fall for lootboxes and other predatory crap, the blasted fools.

    The one and only place that is an exception to this is Steam. I've met quite a few people on there who are into indie games and things like roguelikes or shmups, two genres that dont even exist on consoles because they wouldnt profit the Big Guys as much as yet another COD. I'm glad Steam exists for this, but of course that's a long-distance sort of thing. It's rare that I get to meet any of these friends in person (but it has happened a few times).

    Anywhere else though? Just an exercise in frustration and idiocy. Not to mention absolute jerks. As much as I loved Guilty Gear back in the day, it was annoying to actually play against people in that community, since SO MANY of them are just nasty. And that's frustrating too.


    Outside of gaming, everything else you say is quite true as well. Most of my family is like that. It's all football (bleh) and politics (BLEH) with them. They often wonder why I'm such a recluse. I tend to think it's rather obvious, but nobody seems to grasp it even if I explain it to them.


    And ya know what, it's the same with anime as you said. Dont get me wrong, I like DBZ quite a bit. But other than that I dont like alot of modern series. It's all harems and... er... harems. It's hard to find series that are focused on story and character development instead of being focused on boobs and... pretty much just boobs. I think of things like Iria (the one that got me into anime), or Armitage the 3rd (both are fairly old now) and if I mention those, nobody knows what I'm talking about. Or some not-so-old ones. Good luck finding anyone that's ever heard of Library Wars (a particular favorite of mine, but talk about niche...).


    Just... bah. Yeah, sorry, I'm totally ranting here... well, venting really. Too much of this frustrating crap over far too long, you see. It's no wonder I'd rather play freaking Q*Bert on a virtual arcade cabinet, than interact with other gamers.
     
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  7. Markness

    Markness Well-Known Member

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    To be clear, I don’t dislike all the game franchises I listed where I said people where I live only talk about. I like Nintendo even though I don’t own a Switch and I don’t play any of their games on my own anymore; I just have other interests that occupy my mind. I like Street Fighter and will play it when I have the chance or the mood strikes.

    Guilty Gear is played a lot whenever I go to a certain arcade in Austin but outside that? I can count on hand how many people I’ve encountered who know about the series. Certainly not the “cool crowd” who think Call of Duty, Halo, Overwatch, and Fortnite (I forgot about how popular that series is here. Probably because it superficially resembles Overwatch) are “bad ass” since Guilty Gear is a “fighting game” and those aren’t “cool” unless they’re Mortal Kombat. *rolls eyes*

    I don’t have Steam but that’s because I never think about getting it. It just doesn’t exist in my world until someone (only online or by the handful of people I know who have it) mentions it to me and then it just leaves my mind.

    I actually like Dragon Ball. It’s just that I prefer the manga and want to talk about more than just how “bad ass” Goku and Vegeta are. I used to really like the manga Bastard!! (which was a huge influence on Guilty Gear but you probably knew that) but no one around me read it nor gave it a chance. After Viz dropped it from their publishing schedule and the series stopped getting new chapters in Japan, I moved on from it.
     
  8. Eclipse14

    Eclipse14 Member

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    This sounds exactly like my life. This is pretty much all I do too, lol.
     
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  9. Schism

    Schism Well-Known Member

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    Yep, and me. People are too much effort & complicated, especially in real life. Less hassle online when you can switch them off too :'D
     
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  10. Torin

    Torin New Member

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    Yeah I have been pretty isolated lately but not lonely. I feel peaceful. I don't say that in a edgy antisocial way though. I definitely enjoy certain social interactions with certain people. Other interactions drain me.... I do much better at my dad's house its much less eclectic. My mom is an ABA therapist and I constantly get in arguments with her that end with her dismissing me because I'm a teenager. She has explicitly said so. She confuses application with understanding and that's the root of most our arguments.
    Sorry to sidetrack I'm being a bit narcissistic. I recommend hanging out with a pet. Doggos and cats make life less lonely.