Newly Self-Diagnosed Saying Hi

[KnotSoWild]

Hi,

I am newly self-diagnosed and, as per usual, when I discover a new obsession or a new thing, I fall into these rabbit holes of research and connecting with people of similar minds.

I've had my suspicions for awhile but it wasn't until recently, after reading Divergent Mind, that I started to pursue the idea of being autistic. Reading that book felt like coming home to myself for the first time in my life. Everything suddenly made sense. I no longer see my weird and awkward traits something that need fixing. And that lead me to doing more research into autism spectrum. I took the online QI test and another one on an autism website and both implied that it is very likely I am autistic.

Having that label has been liberating. And knowing there's others like me out there has made this world less of a lonely place. And that has made me want to share the power of self-diagnosis with others.

I look forward to talking to you.

 

[Alexej]

Hi and Welcome @KnotSoWild

This is a good place to come and learn. Lots of different perspectives in here.
There are also a number of folks in the UK in here.

 

[unperson]

Welcome to the forum KSW. What's the photo location?

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome, have you looked at Jessica Kingsley publishers catalogue yet? Good for texts by clinicians and people with autism. Also specifically about issues for women with Autism. I hope you enjoy it here and find plenty of useful information and threads to read and respond to.

I read on another post you wrote that you came from Estonia where you were born to the UK? You write well in English, maybe you have been here from childhood? It can be hard to leave the country where you were born.

 

[KnotSoWild]

Hi and Welcome @KnotSoWild

This is a good place to come and learn. Lots of different perspectives in here.
There are also a number of folks in the UK in here.

Thank you. Great to hear there's others from the UK on here.
I've always loved hearing about different perspectives.

 

[KnotSoWild]

Welcome to the forum KSW. What's the photo location?

Thank you. Glad to be here.

The photo was taken in Estonia. It has a gorgeous coastline.

 

[KnotSoWild]

Hi and welcome, have you looked at Jessica Kingsley publishers catalogue yet? Good for texts by clinicians and people with autism. Also specifically about issues for women with Autism. I hope you enjoy it here and find plenty of useful information and threads to read and respond to.

I read on another post you wrote that you came from Estonia where you were born to the UK? You write well in English, maybe you have been here from childhood? It can be hard to leave the country where you were born.

Thank you for such warm welcome. And I truly appreciate the info on autism and women as that is definitely an area that interests me the most seen as we tend to be underrepresented, although it does seem to get better from my recent discoveries.

Yes, I am from Estonia originally. I was born there but moved away after graduating high school. I guess the leaving was a huge part of me never feeling like I fit in, which has chased me my whole life really. It was hard in a way but I think I've come to terms with the downside of leaving your family.

I did read recently that us autistic humans don't generally stray too far from where we were born. But then again I've also read that we are as different as any human really. I'm curious, do you live where you were born?

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

I always have to give a tip of the hat to those who take the courage to move to a new country with a different language and culture.

I think those of us born in the Anglosphere are a bit spoiled in that regard.

 

[Thinx]

I live in the same country I was born in, England, but have moved around within England. There's a cultural divide somewhat between North and South in England, we talk about the Industrial North, and the Souths often seen as richer and more white collar. Certainly the history of the areas has differed.

I was born in the South West, and lived in Wales for part of my childhood, then near London. I went to University in the Midlands and went North for my first job. To me these seem like big changes of place and culture, moving countries must be even more so.

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome KSW.

I wondered too where the photo was taken. Glad to know.
It makes me think of where I live in Florida.

I've never been out of the USA, but, I've lived from west to east and in the middle.
So I've experienced a lot of America.

You'll find the forums is a good place to be for information and learning.
I know I certainly have. I wasn't diagnosed until I was past 50.

 

[KnotSoWild]

Welcome!

I always have to give a tip of the hat to those who take the courage to move to a new country with a different language and culture.

I think those of us born in the Anglosphere are a bit spoiled in that regard.

Thank you.

I don't quite see it as courage but rather necessity. Search for something that is fitting to your being. Funnily enough I am starting discover that that fitting is within us rather than an external place.

In what regard do you find that you are a bit spoiled? The lack of learning another language?

 

[KnotSoWild]

I live in the same country I was born in, England, but have moved around within England. There's a cultural divide somewhat between North and South in England, we talk about the Industrial North, and the Souths often seen as richer and more white collar. Certainly the history of the areas has differed.

I was born in the South West, and lived in Wales for part of my childhood, then near London. I went to University in the Midlands and went North for my first job. To me these seem like big changes of place and culture, moving countries must be even more so.

Wow, you have moved around quite a bit.

I can definitely see the North and South divide, having lived in both. It would definitely be somewhat of a cultural shock, considering how differently diverse these areas are as well.

Where in the Midlands did you go to uni for? Curious only as I am currently living in the Midlands.

 

[KnotSoWild]

Welcome KSW.

I wondered too where the photo was taken. Glad to know.
It makes me think of where I live in Florida.

I've never been out of the USA, but, I've lived from west to east and in the middle.
So I've experienced a lot of America.

You'll find the forums is a good place to be for information and learning.
I know I certainly have. I wasn't diagnosed until I was past 50.

Thank you for the warm welcome.

I've always wanted to visit the States. Even as a little kid I was obsessed with it. What's been your favourite part of America to have lived in?

What made you get your diagnosis? I love hearing how people came to this realisation.

 

[VictorR]

Thank you.
In what regard do you find that you are a bit spoiled? The lack of learning another language?

When traveling in and talking to people from continental Europe in particular I am amazed how many people have excellent English language skills, despite it often being their third language.

The use of English as the default linga franca means that for those of us for whom English is our first/native language, we're not obligated to learn another language, or at least to learn it well.

I recall encountering a group speaking tourists in my hometown, staring at the map at the main train station. I recall how helpless I felt when all I asked if they needed help, and they responded in Spanish and I could only mutter a muted "no hablo espanol." I was in despair, as I love helping people, and transit and maps are among my special interests. I froze for a bit, then asked "comprendez-vous francais?" and from their "un petit peu" I tried my best to explain to them the different fare and routing options to get to their desired destination, and they seemed to understand.

The experience really drove home for me how despite my French being rather broken, that it was still useful, and that I really should try to spend more time learning languages. But in the absence of regular opportunities to use other languages, I end up in a cycle of wanting to learn, but not being motivated.

 

[SusanLR]

Thank you for the warm welcome.

I've always wanted to visit the States. Even as a little kid I was obsessed with it. What's been your favourite part of America to have lived in?

What made you get your diagnosis? I love hearing how people came to this realisation.

I always wanted to visit the UK and New Zealand. They somehow attracted me with such a different
way of life it seemed. More sedate and pastoral.

Arizona, where I was born, will always feel like my home spiritually.
I love the desert. Hot, dry, and so different from the terrain of the rest of the US.
I'm half Cherokee. Maybe it is truly just in my veins to feel at home in the southwest.
I go to PowWow here in Florida where different tribes gather for two weeks each year.

My parents were born in Missouri though, and they wanted to return to the Ozarks.
Forests and a small mountain range.
I spent a lot of my school years there and went to University in Springfield, MO.

When my Dad retired, he wanted to move to a warm climate, but, he didn't like the desert that well.
We had never lived in a tropical environment so Florida was decided upon.
And I would say I like it the least. Too commercialised and mostly palm trees in swamps.
Lots of mosquitos, gators, spiders and snakes.
The beautiful blue waters and beaches have become almost obsolete as high rise condos have
taken over. I liked it when it was more natural.
There are still wilderness preserves and parks that are nice also.

As far as what made me get a diagnosis was when my Mom died in 2013 and left me with no
family. I am one of those who never wanted to leave home or cared about a family of my own.
I've been physically and emotionally disabled for many years and my SSD check is small.
Without my mother's retirement combined with my income I didn't make enough to continue
living where we lived together.
In fact I didn't make enough to live anywhere! Not even a group setting.
Due to Asperger's, I was alone in a world I'd never lived on my own in and I just couldn't
get past losing my Mom. The depression and loss was too much so I went for grief counseling.
The psychologist there soon recognised it was more than prolonged grief and told me
she thought I had Asperger's. I should go for testing I was told.
Meanwhile, an elderly man that I played tennis with became disabled and had no family either.
He had a large split living house and no money worries, but, he wanted someone to live
with to be there to help him. So he rented one wing of his house to me for a price I could afford.
With use of the kitchen and one of his cars.

 

[KnotSoWild]

When traveling in and talking to people from continental Europe in particular I am amazed how many people have excellent English language skills, despite it often being their third language.

The use of English as the default linga franca means that for those of us for whom English is our first/native language, we're not obligated to learn another language, or at least to learn it well.

I recall encountering a group speaking tourists in my hometown, staring at the map at the main train station. I recall how helpless I felt when all I asked if they needed help, and they responded in Spanish and I could only mutter a muted "no hablo espanol." I was in despair, as I love helping people, and transit and maps are among my special interests. I froze for a bit, then asked "comprendez-vous francais?" and from their "un petit peu" I tried my best to explain to them the different fare and routing options to get to their desired destination, and they seemed to understand.

The experience really drove home for me how despite my French being rather broken, that it was still useful, and that I really should try to spend more time learning languages. But in the absence of regular opportunities to use other languages, I end up in a cycle of wanting to learn, but not being motivated.

That is true. English is such an international language that those who have it as a native language almost expect the rest of the world to speak it too. Not everyone does though. My mum doesn't and she would really struggle if she came over to visit me in the UK.

Although English is not my mother toungue, it is definitely a default language I fall on when travelling, pretty much for the same reason I mentioned above...it is the world's default language.

I share your struggle of wanting to learn a language but not being motivated to do it. And I think a huge part of it is down to not being able to use it regularly. I studied Russian at school for about 8 years but because I never used it outside of school, I can't speak it or understand it. I remember the very basics but I could not get by with it if I visited Russia. Makes me sad.

 

[KnotSoWild]

I always wanted to visit the UK and New Zealand. They somehow attracted me with such a different
way of life it seemed. More sedate and pastoral.

Arizona, where I was born, will always feel like my home spiritually.
I love the desert. Hot, dry, and so different from the terrain of the rest of the US.
I'm half Cherokee. Maybe it is truly just in my veins to feel at home in the southwest.
I go to PowWow here in Florida where different tribes gather for two weeks each year.

My parents were born in Missouri though, and they wanted to return to the Ozarks.
Forests and a small mountain range.
I spent a lot of my school years there and went to University in Springfield, MO.

When my Dad retired, he wanted to move to a warm climate, but, he didn't like the desert that well.
We had never lived in a tropical environment so Florida was decided upon.
And I would say I like it the least. Too commercialised and mostly palm trees in swamps.
Lots of mosquitos, gators, spiders and snakes.
The beautiful blue waters and beaches have become almost obsolete as high rise condos have
taken over. I liked it when it was more natural.
There are still wilderness preserves and parks that are nice also.

As far as what made me get a diagnosis was when my Mom died in 2013 and left me with no
family. I am one of those who never wanted to leave home or cared about a family of my own.
I've been physically and emotionally disabled for many years and my SSD check is small.
Without my mother's retirement combined with my income I didn't make enough to continue
living where we lived together.
In fact I didn't make enough to live anywhere! Not even a group setting.
Due to Asperger's, I was alone in a world I'd never lived on my own in and I just couldn't
get past losing my Mom. The depression and loss was too much so I went for grief counseling.
The psychologist there soon recognised it was more than prolonged grief and told me
she thought I had Asperger's. I should go for testing I was told.
Meanwhile, an elderly man that I played tennis with became disabled and had no family either.
He had a large split living house and no money worries, but, he wanted someone to live
with to be there to help him. So he rented one wing of his house to me for a price I could afford.
With use of the kitchen and one of his cars.

New Zealand is a wonderful country, and such a beautiful country with its lakes and mountains. A real breath of fresh air.

I don't know if the TV series Ozarks was filmed there, but if it was the area does look beautiful. And from how you described it, sounds just like my kinda place.

I can understand your allure to the desert. There is something very spiritual about it. I've never visited one but I would absolutely love to exoerience it in this life time.

I'm sorry to hear about all your struggles. Losing your mum must have been so hard. Did the diagnosis help you in that regard?

And I'm glad someone reached out and helped you having a home. Home is such an integral thing. It pretty much covers our basic needs. I often think of people who have literally nowhere to go and it breaks my heart. To have a roof over your head makes life a little easier.

 

[SusanLR]

The diagnosis helped me to understand myself and why I was different in many ways all my life
and why my reaction to my Mom's death is so traumatic.
But, it hasn't really helped me feel better emotionally regarding the trauma or the depression
I feel.
I still go for CBT and EMDR. It is also an outlet to have someone to talk with.

I haven't seen the series Ozarks, but, I looked it up and it says most of it is filmed around
Atlanta, Georgia. Only a small portion in the beginning actually showed a lake in the Ozarks.
Probably Lake of the Ozarks. There is a lake there called that. Beautiful country.

This is a picture of the area near where I was born. Unique.

 

[KnotSoWild]

The diagnosis helped me to understand myself and why I was different in many ways all my life
and why my reaction to my Mom's death is so traumatic.
But, it hasn't really helped me feel better emotionally regarding the trauma or the depression
I feel.
I still go for CBT and EMDR. It is also an outlet to have someone to talk with.

I haven't seen the series Ozarks, but, I looked it up and it says most of it is filmed around
Atlanta, Georgia. Only a small portion in the beginning actually showed a lake in the Ozarks.
Probably Lake of the Ozarks. There is a lake there called that. Beautiful country.

This is a picture of the area near where I was born. Unique.
View attachment 65914

That photo of the desert is beautiful. What a gorgeous place to be born at.

As for the TV series, yes they do tend to film things elsewhere, don't they. The lake did look beautiful though.