New to the forum

[Wyowoodwrker]

Hello,
Just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Nick, I'm a 40 year old man that has a "late" diagnosis. I always knew there was something different about me. Never really had any desire for social interaction, well that's not entirely true. I didn't have any desire to have a bunch of friends. I always struggled with the "norms of society" I gave up trying to fit in long ago and just made my own way.

I finally got the "label" when I was 32 after a failed marriage made me seek out help. After making it through that ordeal I found a new partner in life. Things were going well for a while until recently. It seems as though my cycle of relationships is coming back around again and things are rapidly falling apart.

To avoid confrontational discussions I have a bad coping mechanism and will say or do anything to end it. Often times, what's said or done is dishonest and hurtful. I don't want to hurt them, but I don't know how to process the high emotions of those situations and things get bad. I'm hoping for a little guidance and help on how to work through this mess I have made.

 

[tree]

 

[Streetwise]

I was diagnosed at 45, oldest person was 83,@SusanLR at 58 or 59 one of the admins 61 or 62 ,I thought of lord Cavendish, died at 62 ,never diagnosed ,thought to be ASD1, that was the 1770s.
I was shocked 5 years ago, not now ,I'm more shocked when someone says 2 or 3 ,I personally think if you aren't married learn about being alone I was beyond devastated when my mam(mom)died,it wasn't good to have lived like that for 29 years .
P.S @Crossbreed I have the 'me mother 'dialect but not as often as some in my area of England.

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you are up against difficulties in your relationship, but also, many people do experience difficulties and challenges, this is normal. Could you get help such as therapy, from a therapist who understands autism as well as relationship dynamics? To help the 2 of you get better communication going? You are not alone in finding this hard, and both of you can probably understand each other better and get through this, with support? I hope you find it supportive and interesting here.

 

[Crossbreed]

(Wow!

You have an active lifestyle...!

)

 

[Aspychata]

Welcome. Since coming here, l am more accepting of my emotions. I am quicker to not let intense feeling derail me. l prefer to be honest with dealing with relationships because it helps me feel more mature.

 

[Alexej]

Welcome @Wyowoodwrker

Good to have oyu among us. There are a number in her who have been diagnosed later in life, so there is experience round here of later diagnosis

 

[Giraffes]

I join the gang of people late diagnosed and also find relationships hard, just come out of a long term relationship and working at being their friend and prehaps pursuing that relationship from a different understanding and attitude, welcome to the forum.

 

[Bolletje]

Welcome! I’m sure you’ll fit right in here. I was diagnosed in my late twenties. Miraculously I found a partner that I mostly get along with very well, and that is very patient and accepting when it comes to my quirks and my complicated user manual. It helps that he’s a weirdo too

I can relate to struggling with high emotion situations. I get overstimulated very quickly in those situations and then my fight or flight response is triggered. I either start yelling or crying uncontrollably or I shut down completely. I’m not proud of it or happy about it, but I haven’t been able to fix it yet.

 

[Crossbreed]

...and then my fight or flight response is triggered.

(That reminded me of Share good puns and jokes. )

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!