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Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Rasputin, Oct 17, 2019.

  1. Rasputin

    Rasputin Active Member

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    This might be unusual. I am 61, and have not been formally diagnosed with Aspergers. Several months ago I was invited to join a group at work that advocates for employees with disabilities. The leader of the group has a son who is autistic, and in talking with her I agreed to sit on an Autism panel for a public forum. In participating on this forum, I discovered that I have most, if not all. of the "quirky" eccentricities commonly associated with Aspergers. I believe my father had Aspergers because he had difficulty socializing and forming relationships even within his immediate family. Similarly, I had difficulty making friends in school, and can count on one hand the number of close friends I have had during my life. Two of these friends were women that I married, and I have been married the past 27nyears. Some of the issues are due to difficulty trusting, and letting people in. I had a close friend who passed away following a stroke three years ago, and this person was very authentic and there was mutual trust in our friendship.

    Out of curiosity I took an online test for Autism and scored well above the threshold for borderline Autism. I excelled in educational pursuits, especially in Mathematics, the physical sciences (chemistry and physics), computer science, and business, and have taken several IQ tests that estimate my IQ around 145. I have a Ph.D. and have had a respectable career; however, I struggle sometimes in social chit chat, and in job interviews. Despite excellent performance reviews, my career progression never really occurred.

    Lastly, I have never been close with my family. My father has a brother who is severely autistic and is cared for by a sister, and I have two cousins who are autistic. Through DNA testing I discovered that I have several homozygous genes associated with Autism. I have met a few "Aspies", and have noticed that we are very similar and made friends quickly. So at this point I am going through a discovery phase, and look forward to interacting with others in this group.
     
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  2. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    upload_2019-10-17_7-51-50.png
     
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  3. Nitro

    Nitro Admin/Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

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    Hi Rasputin

    welcome to af.png
     
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  4. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    Oldest man to be diagnosed 83 years old, that was in the UK ,if you weren’t born after 1981 ,you will probably be older when you are diagnosed, lorna Wing (At a Clinic in London) started diagnosing people with what was then called Aspergers Syndrome, in Europe(in the UK it can be called the latter or high functioning autism ,it is preferred to be called high functioning autism as it is deemed more accurate) and some parts of the world ,it is still given that name as a diagnosis,In the USA it’s called high functioning autism ,that is only !for how much care you need ,it’s actually just autism spectrum disorder for everybody.
    if you can cope! without accommodations ,don’t bother getting a diagnosis ,it’s very expensive(anything from 300 to 400 dollars that’s cheap to 5 or $6000),If you are in the UK it’s free but !you wait a long !!!!!!time, I wasn’t diagnosed I was 45 that isn’t unusual.
    If you think 83 is old ,consider there were people who probably died and were never !diagnosed and would’ve been older when they died.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2019
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  5. Rasputin

    Rasputin Active Member

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    Streetwise, I am in agreement with you. Thank you for your comments.
     
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  6. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

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    Wellcome to the forums Rasputin

    I agree with Streetwise and might i also add very informative as well
     
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  7. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Only realizing you may be on the spectrum at 61 is fairly common for HFAs. Married to two women for 27 years is unusual.

    ;)
     
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  8. Rasputin

    Rasputin Active Member

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    Thank you!
     
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  9. Rasputin

    Rasputin Active Member

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    Tom, was married two years to the first. Have been married 27 years to the second. And, yes it is a constant challenge. I have been told I am the most insensitive man she knows, and that I lack empathy.

    Also, I have a few major quirks. I have difficulty dealing with or feeling emotions after friends or family pass away. I felt nothing when my parents passed, and do not know why. On the other hand I wept Uncontrollably after my best (and only close) friend died suddenly of a stroke. I generally avoid funerals for these reasons, because it is either socially unacceptable or embarrassing.

    Another quirk is that I have great difficulty smiling for portraits.

    Lastly, my wife gets angry sometimes because she claims I repeat myself when I am trying to make a point. Not sure if these are symptomatic of HFAs or not.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2019
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  10. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi and welcome. I'm 61 too, self diagnosed about 7 years ago. It does seem strange at first to realise this late in life, whilst also making retrospective sense of things that were a puzzle, like my inability to get the hang of unstructured social interaction, despite lecturing in communication skills for carers... I even wrote a text book on that... :rolleyes:

    I hope you enjoy it here and find the discussions useful and informative, I have learned a lot here.

    :blossom::bee::sunflower::hibiscus::beetle::cherryblossom:
     
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  11. Rasputin

    Rasputin Active Member

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    Nice to meet you Thinx! I guess I am not as unusual as I thought.
     
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  12. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    The behaviors you describe do line up pretty well with what others on the spectrum experience. And there is a strong hereditary component with autism, that is it definitely tends to run in families. Our generation was basically in the dark about HFA and so many of us, although knowing we were 'different' didn't have a name or cause of it until it became more widely known. For me the light bulb went off while reading up on Asperger's Syndrome because a nephew and brother-in-law were diagnosed with it.
     
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  13. Rasputin

    Rasputin Active Member

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    I am starting to recall a lot of the challenges such as dating that I experienced when I was younger. I had forgotten or blocked out a lot of those experiences.Reading what other people have posted solidifies my self-diagnosis. Also I still find it interesting that some people in my company recognized HFA before I did.
     
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  14. Streetwise

    Streetwise very cautious contributor V.I.P Member

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    It seems to be the classic mindset when it hurts your child ,Lorna Wing had a severely autistic daughter and along with Judith Gould set up the camberwell register (district in south london )to analyse autism cases and realised autism is a spectrum disagreeing with Leo kanner and Hans Asperger ,would we have any psychiatrist not considering us hypochondriacs if her (Lorna)daughter didnt exist .My gp definitely would still be saying panic disorder if he knew nothing about Autism and I would still be extremely !!!!!distressed and confused ,still distressed and confused just not extremely .
     
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  15. Shenandoah

    Shenandoah Active Member

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    Welcome from someone who just joined yesterday :)

    That certainly sounds familiar. People see you as weird and keep you at an arms length.
     
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  16. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Hey, it's great you are here. This forum has a number of interesting individuals and they have been open about the obstacles they faced and how to navigate the rabbit hole of our looking glass in our spectrum reality and yet not lose our heads. lol. Anyways, like l say, open 24/7, pull up a chair, and welcome again.

    I too repeat things but my friend has mentioned this. But this was a result of my ex totally ignoring me when l said something for 5 years. Like l received zero response, so l have had to really work on that aspect of mine.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2019
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  17. Isadoorian

    Isadoorian Well Known Chat Member, Welcomer of Newcomers V.I.P Member

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    Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process! :)

    Despite the fact that it seems like the site's overrun with us younger ones, there are in fact several members who are Older (40's, 50s, 60s), such as a couple of the ever fantastic Staff members :)

    And in regards to being here and not having a diagnosis yet, many people here, such as myself, are Self Diagnosed which is extremely valid, and many are content with having it stay that way.
     
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  18. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Hi Ras... why'd you pick that name?
     
  19. Peter Morrison

    Peter Morrison Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi Rasputin - Welcome. Older is wiser, but the ASD just keeps on ticking. I got my professional diagnosis recently. I already knew I was dealing with Aspergers. This forum has been of great help to me. Not only am I learning to understand myself more, but I also have developed greater appreciation for ASD as a whole.
     
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  20. Rasputin

    Rasputin Active Member

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    My maternal grandfather immigrated from Russia in 1914, and I have a nasty disposition when lied to or manipulated. Rasputin just seemed to fit.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2019
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