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New and newly diagnosed Maybe in denial.

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Kaitlyn, Nov 10, 2019.

  1. Kaitlyn

    Kaitlyn New Member

    Nov 10, 2019
    I’m 57 yrs old.
    Last year my daughter who is an occupational therapist told me to get a therapist and discuss autism

    I did that and he told me I have severe ADHD and that I’m on the mild side of the spectrum.
    I took some tests and had my dad, my daughter and my ex interviewed(we are best friends) and that’s when he diagnosed me. He also tested me for ADHD with very high impulsivity

    I had no language impairments but I’ve suffered a deep and pervasive feeling of otherness my whole life. Being alone is my best friend. I have lived more inside my head than outside

    I was successful In my work life but looking back I think my nature was very helpful. I worked in finance and found that easy to understand. And I always wondered why I didn’t care about the politics or the impact on me or others. I just cared about the “right” answer and I relentlessly pursued that ‘right’. Answer.

    I got married and had kids but my spouse “fell out of love with me” because I seemed disinterested and detached. I never really liked sex and since the divorce I have no interest in relationships or sex. I was desperate to stay married but when we split I was actually relieved.

    I find it hard to believe that I would be “on the spectrum” because I’ve had a really big social life. But now I’m retired. I’m on my own and my life is filled with a pretty specific and firm routine and I get super anxious and agitated when that routine changes. I spend a lot of time playing music. Video games and working out (alone).

    Overall I’d say my feeling is one of being an observer. I don’t connect to people. I like them and I want things to be OK. But it doesn’t feel real. I’m just solving a problem. Filling a role. Doing what I see others do. I am interested and curious about things. I don’t feel any need or interest in intimacy. I’ve never walked into a place and felt like I wanted to meet somebody or connect with them. If somebody wants to connect with me. I do it. If somebody says they want XYZ. I give them XYZ. I trust everybody equally and I get taken advantage of.

    I found this forum and I thought it would be interesting to get feedback and see if any of my experience resonates with others
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  2. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

    Dec 20, 2018
    Welcome, Kaitlyn. We have quite a few members here who were not diagnosed until middle age or later.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Jun 29, 2013
  4. Isadoorian

    Isadoorian Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    May 16, 2018
    Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process! :)
  5. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Oct 27, 2011
    Welcome to Autism Forums!
  6. leehart

    leehart Well-Known Member

    Oct 29, 2019
    Welcome Kaitlyn, many get diagnosed later in life. You will find here a friendly group and many who seek to understand themselves better and find by doing so are able to care for themselves more proactively :)
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Mar 4, 2018
    Hi, hope you find this forum useful and interesting.

    • Agree Agree x 1
  8. Nitro

    Nitro Admin/Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

    Apr 5, 2014
    Hi Kaitlyn :)

    welcome to af.png