I do not know how to help but I have some things to say. I do not think you are asexual because you say that you think you would like to be with someone and maybe even do adult things. I thought it was funny you called it stuff because that's exactly what me and my gf call it. We ask if the other wants to do stuff.
When I was young (I am 48 now) I had so many questions for myself on how to act on a date. One day I met someone I liked very much and they liked me and I didn't have to do anything because I already liked what we were doing so I didn't need to think about it. This was significant to me because I had been on what felt like a lot of dates over the years and I was always so uncomfortable and worked so hard trying to plan every moment. I started to think that if you liked somebody then you didn't have to figure all those things out. It was just nice being with them.
I wish so much I had advice for you on getting dates but I was terrible at it myself. I am not sure I really had more than two or three in my life. The people I dated .. it was more like we met somehow and saw each other again and that kept up and it was a relationship.
If I can, I would like to say please don't be with somebody you don't like. I don't know if it's aspie and I do not mean to offend anyone, but I wonder if those of us who are awkward with dating and feel so uncomfortable while doing it, seem to think it must always feel uncomfortable so, we start thinking spending time with someone on an official date is the point of dating. I don't know if that made sense. What I mean is I wonder if some of us forget that the point is to meet someone we feel happy around.
I am easy to fool socially. I am literal and think other people are. This can be dangerous for us.
But to think of much happier things, when you meet someone you like and you want to be around them, things seem to figure themselves out. Suddenly you don't have to plan everything or wonder what you will say. You already have something to say or not say. Quiet is nice too.
For me the biggest problem in relationships has been communication. I always think the other person knows what I know and sees things the way I do so, if they do something I wouldn't, I think they are wrong. I had to learn that other people have their own minds and think their own thoughts.
I think the best thing, if you want to date and you seem to be saying that you might, is to wait and when you meet someone you like being around, spend more time with them. It's really nice. It's also less complicated that way. Arranging formal dates, I do not know, maybe it already means the two of you aren't fitting so well. But that might not be true. People are all different and the formality of a proper date with a time and place might be very nice for some people.
If you are able to meet a person you like and you feel like you want to see them again, my advice is to be careful and not spend time alone together until you have seen each other a few times and it seems you are getting to know each other. Also, you do not have to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing and, this part I think is important, if you like doing something in a certain way, it's okay. Some people do not like holding hands but very much enjoy the pressure of leaning up against somebody else. It's whatever makes you happy and it is okay if the other person does not understand but they should never make fun of you for it. I would say that is a sign you should not be around them.
I hope something I am saying is helping but if not please keep talking about your thoughts on dating. Maybe someone else will say something better.
