Negative and tortuous treatment

[Professori]

I read on another website of the 'negative and tortuous' treatment of those with autistism. Really? I have frequently wondered about this business of autism being a curse - some even try to explain that it is a blessing as well. So, who has experienced tortuous treatment, and what kind of treatment? I have experienced a great deal of tortuous treatment from life experiences in general from messed up people and simply living, but as a result specifically of being an Aspie? I question that.

The real problem enters the equation when there is the attempt to fit or conform to a societal norm or pattern. This has been discussed many times. So then differences in behaviour and thinking, etc are emphasized and when you are different, then different treatment is dished out to you - 'negative and tortuous' treatment supposedly. We have become so sensitive to being classified autistic that we have accepted that our behaviour is different and substandard and so we are abnormal because we don't fit otherwise ridiculous behaviour patterns defined as 'normal'.

Then comes depression, OCD, plus the many other problems associated with not being accepted.

Meanwhile the whole of society dishes out terrible treatment to all and sundry. If anybody offers an opinion that does not agree with the norm, especially politically, then you may even get death threats. If you do not comply with politically correct ideas then woe betide you. So, if you don't toe the line of societal thinking then trouble comes your way.

Still, we all have our own experiences to relate.

 

[dragoncat16]

I have been treated terribly by others all my life. In school, I was a year younger than everyone else, and I was not only teased but I also suffered violence (injuries included cuts needing stitches very close to my eye twice and a bloody nose a few times - and I was a girl). This behaviour of other children was largely ignored by teachers, and the teachers also unfairly punished me for stuff I didn't even do, because I was considered the class troublemaker.

Surprisingly, I fared a bit better during my (extensive) university education. There were still some bullies who gave me a hard time, but I did have some good friends, most of whom were, looking back, probably on the spectrum themselves.

In my employed life, I have not done so well. Of the four places I have worked (other than the teaching/research assistant jobs I had when I was a student), I have suffered terrible bullying at three of them and I have been uncerimoniously dismissed (just going through that for the fourth time right now), even though I was considerably more capable than others (the ones that have bullied me, for instance). Until I recently self-diagnosed (and subsequently was properly diagnosed) with ASD, I just thought others were jealous of my high intelligence and ability to work very efficiently, quickly, and competently. Now I still think it's really everyone else's problem. Who cares whether I give proper eye contact, or say all the "right" things, or are popular, if I can singlehandedly write an autonomous control system for a remote telescope, for example. But there were people who said that they couldn't possibly work with me (even though I did a lot of their work for them), so I was dismissed and the rest got to keep their jobs, even when they committed terrible acts of misconduct against me. The funny thing is they tend to wait for me to finish my work for them, and THEN suddenly claim that I am incompetent or can't work with others, after 4 years of working there.

(Sorry, I'm a bit bitter.)

 

[watersprite]

I choose not to spend time and energy finding where to heap blame. Rather, I do what I have to, in order to find peace.

 

[Professori]

I have been treated terribly by others all my life. In school, I was a year younger than everyone else, and I was not only teased but I also suffered violence (injuries included cuts needing stitches very close to my eye twice and a bloody nose a few times - and I was a girl). This behaviour of other children was largely ignored by teachers, and the teachers also unfairly punished me for stuff I didn't even do, because I was considered the class troublemaker.

Surprisingly, I fared a bit better during my (extensive) university education. There were still some bullies who gave me a hard time, but I did have some good friends, most of whom were, looking back, probably on the spectrum themselves.

In my employed life, I have not done so well. Of the four places I have worked (other than the teaching/research assistant jobs I had when I was a student), I have suffered terrible bullying at three of them and I have been uncerimoniously dismissed (just going through that for the fourth time right now), even though I was considerably more capable than others (the ones that have bullied me, for instance). Until I recently self-diagnosed (and subsequently was properly diagnosed) with ASD, I just thought others were jealous of my high intelligence and ability to work very efficiently, quickly, and competently. Now I still think it's really everyone else's problem. Who cares whether I give proper eye contact, or say all the "right" things, or are popular, if I can singlehandedly write an autonomous control system for a remote telescope, for example. But there were people who said that they couldn't possibly work with me (even though I did a lot of their work for them), so I was dismissed and the rest got to keep their jobs, even when they committed terrible acts of misconduct against me. The funny thing is they tend to wait for me to finish my work for them, and THEN suddenly claim that I am incompetent or can't work with others, after 4 years of working there.

(Sorry, I'm a bit bitter.)

You have had a tough time of it. I can understand your frustration. Of course, that treatment always stems from people not being able to handle differences - makes them insecure.

Good thing if you are able to rest in the peace of accepting who you are, as you have pointed out. But the rejection and unnecessary comments are still hurtful.

 

[Crossbreed]

In work situations, I've gotten persecuted at both ends.

When I first start at a place, it isn't enough for me to just copy what others are doing. I do better if I am invested in my job and gain a sense of the big picture. Consequently, while I seek out that sense, I appear to be slower on the uptake than my peers (and get criticized for it).

If I last past that stage, I begin to notice little ways that I can improve my efficiency. The problem there is my newly-developed efficiency tactics seldom seem to match the performance levels maintained by my peers; they begin to exceed them. At that point, I begin to get criticized for raising the bar too high while others remain critical of my previous under-performance...!

It isn't that I strive to work harder, either. My motto has always been "Work smarter, not harder." But that effort isn't as appreciated as one might think.

For one electronics manufacturer, they only gave us assembly schematics for trouble-shooting. Some techs thrived using them, but I and others like me sought the industry-standard functional schematics. In their absence, I used my spare time to convert the assembly schematics to functional ones and shared them with other like-minded techs (in-factory) and all of our performances began to improve.

The first group of techs (instead of being happy for our improvement) actually threatened to accuse me of wasting paper and leaking technical secrets, if I didn't stop sharing my schematics (completely in-house)...! (And I was let go for such accusations.)

To the OP, I agree that the persecution is for being different (and not particularly for being autistic), but autism is the main source of our differences and its attendant deficit in social skills means we often don't know when to shut up (making a bad situation even worse).

If a Republican NT finds himself in a work environment full of Democrats, he knows that it isn't prudent to shout, "Hurray for Trump...!" in their midst. So, while being a Republican might not be popular in that setting, being a conspicuous Republican would be even worse. We don't always get that, particularly within complex demographics.

 

[OkRad]

I have been treated terribly by others all my life. In school, I was a year younger than everyone else, and I was not only teased but I also suffered violence (injuries included cuts needing stitches very close to my eye twice and a bloody nose a few times - and I was a girl). This behaviour of other children was largely ignored by teachers, and the teachers also unfairly punished me for stuff I didn't even do, because I was considered the class troublemaker.

Surprisingly, I fared a bit better during my (extensive) university education. There were still some bullies who gave me a hard time, but I did have some good friends, most of whom were, looking back, probably on the spectrum themselves.

In my employed life, I have not done so well. Of the four places I have worked (other than the teaching/research assistant jobs I had when I was a student), I have suffered terrible bullying at three of them and I have been uncerimoniously dismissed (just going through that for the fourth time right now), even though I was considerably more capable than others (the ones that have bullied me, for instance). Until I recently self-diagnosed (and subsequently was properly diagnosed) with ASD, I just thought others were jealous of my high intelligence and ability to work very efficiently, quickly, and competently. Now I still think it's really everyone else's problem. Who cares whether I give proper eye contact, or say all the "right" things, or are popular, if I can singlehandedly write an autonomous control system for a remote telescope, for example. But there were people who said that they couldn't possibly work with me (even though I did a lot of their work for them), so I was dismissed and the rest got to keep their jobs, even when they committed terrible acts of misconduct against me. The funny thing is they tend to wait for me to finish my work for them, and THEN suddenly claim that I am incompetent or can't work with others, after 4 years of working there.

(Sorry, I'm a bit bitter.)

I am a bit bitter too. Lots of abuse and i confuse people 24/7. Then i try NOT to confuse them and they r more confused. No one talks yo me anymore bcuz i shut down. I had connected and felt too many emotions. I was happy to be around a few people that accepted me but i grew too fond of one of them. Then it all went downhill. Now i shut down and they think i am mentally ill but i prefer to be shut down and thought crazy than fooling myself into thinking i can have friends

 

[Professori]

I am a bit bitter too. Lots of abuse and i confuse people 24/7. Then i try NOT to confuse them and they r more confused. No one talks yo me anymore bcuz i shut down. I had connected and felt too many emotions. I was happy to be around a few people that accepted me but i grew too fond of one of them. Then it all went downhill. Now i shut down and they think i am mentally ill but i prefer to be shut down and thought crazy than fooling myself into thinking i can have friends

Tough, but what do you mean by too fond of one of them - why should that cause problems? Obviously, you are not mentally ill, and they may just think you are different, not unbalanced.

Fact is that it will always be difficult to be accepted if you are different in any way, not only as an Aspie, but in any way at all.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

In work situations, I've gotten persecuted at both ends.

When I first start at a place, it isn't enough for me to just copy what others are doing. I do better if I am invested in my job and gain a sense of the big picture. Consequently, while I seek out that sense, I appear to be slower on the uptake than my peers (and get criticized for it).

If I last past that stage, I begin to notice little ways that I can improve my efficiency. The problem there is my newly-developed efficiency tactics seldom seem to match the performance levels maintained by my peers; they begin to exceed them. At that point, I begin to get criticized for raising the bar too high while others remain critical of my previous under-performance...!

It isn't that I strive to work harder, either. My motto has always been "Work smarter, not harder." But that effort isn't as appreciated as one might think.

For one electronics manufacturer, they only gave us assembly schematics for trouble-shooting. Some techs thrived using them, but I and others like me sought the industry-standard functional schematics. In their absence, I used my spare time to convert the assembly schematics to functional ones and shared them with other like-minded techs (in-factory) and all of our performances began to improve.

The first group of techs (instead of being happy for our improvement) actually threatened to accuse me of wasting paper and leaking technical secrets, if I didn't stop sharing my schematics (completely in-house)...! (And I was let go for such accusations.)

To the OP, I agree that the persecution is for being different (and not particularly for being autistic), but autism is the main source of our differences and its attendant deficit in social skills means we often don't know when to shut up (making a bad situation even worse).

If a Republican NT finds himself in a work environment full of Democrats, he knows that it isn't prudent to shout, "Hurray for Trump...!" in their midst. So, while being a Republican might not be popular in that setting, being a conspicuous Republican would be even worse. We don't always get that, particularly within complex demographics.

Yes,it seems the game is
1. Dont think
2. Do as little work as you can get away with ie lying about how busy you are.

If you do better than others it can show them up as being complete and utter no. 2's!

 

[Crossbreed]

2. Do as little work as you can get away with ie lying about how busy you are.

At first, they really were out-performing me, so I wouldn't necessarily accuse them of being lazy. I just could not attain their pace when working in a mindless fashion. And I couldn't restrain myself to their pace once I began working in a mindful fashion.

If I were to compare it to letter grades in school, it is like they rose to C-level proficiency very quickly, whereas I gave D-level performance until it started to click and I shot up to B and A-level performance.

C-level is adequate, but I am not very good at settling there.

 

[dragoncat16]

I am a bit bitter too. Lots of abuse and i confuse people 24/7. Then i try NOT to confuse them and they r more confused. No one talks yo me anymore bcuz i shut down. I had connected and felt too many emotions. I was happy to be around a few people that accepted me but i grew too fond of one of them. Then it all went downhill. Now i shut down and they think i am mentally ill but i prefer to be shut down and thought crazy than fooling myself into thinking i can have friends

I think I know what you mean by you became too fond of one of them. My main problem this last time was that whereas usually when people don't like me and turn off me, I know because they stop talking to me and uninclude me from everything, one guy was really really friendly to me, even as he was saying horrible things behind my back. This one person became the one I went to when I needed info or was frustrated with someone else, or even just to chat. Of course, I helped him with stuff too, and we were working on a project together, though I was the one who came up with the idea and did most of the work for it.

Thinking that he was friend and therefore assuming that anything I said to him would not be repeated, a couple of times I lost my temper when describing how someone else had been treating me (and the treatment was really terrible, causing me enough stress to force me into what I now understand was a near-meltdown state). He then spread a rumour about me of being a hothead who has a tendency to "throw fits". Everyone jumped on this bandwagon, and I have recently found out that several people, including my manager, was sending emails about me whenever ANYONE had even a calm conversation with me, and they even had a cute name, coined by my manager herself, for any interaction with me.

I have been let go (for reasons that were manufactured for convenience to make it all "legal"), and guess who got to take over the project I had worked so hard on (he had long since withdrawn from doing work on the project). The students I was teaching (in front of whom I never lost my temper or even raised my voice) accused me of throwing fits, and made up other stuff about me as well, such as by saying I called them stupid (which I absolutely never did). The telling thing was that the only students who said these things were the ones who were supervised by the colleague I thought was my friend. Other students (even those sitting in the same classroom at the same time as I gave my lectures) gave me decent ratings and never said anything overwhelmingly negative about me. Oh yeah, and if you're still not convinced, a video of one of my "friend"'s lectures clearly shows him making fun of and berating me in front of those same students who later said such terrible things about me. Did he get fired for this? No. I did.

How's that for "negative and tortuous treatment"?

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Oh yeah, and if you're still not convinced, a video of one of my "friend"'s lectures clearly shows him making fun of and berating me in front of those same students who later said such terrible things about me. Did he get fired for this? No. I did.

That about sums it up. People are *****

To do what's right and sort this guy out would mean admitting complicity.

They can't do that as they are too busy pretending how nice they are to each other.

A niceness, which it seems, all too often depends on a scapegoat.

Anything you say to anyone is always repeated in the NT world. They all just pretend it isn't. That's why there's often an angry reaction when you puncture through their myths with accidental truths.

It's hard to remember never to tell the truth sometimes, I've found.

 

[OkRad]

I think I know what you mean by you became too fond of one of them. My main problem this last time was that whereas usually when people don't like me and turn off me, I know because they stop talking to me and uninclude me from everything, one guy was really really friendly to me, even as he was saying horrible things behind my back. This one person became the one I went to when I needed info or was frustrated with someone else, or even just to chat. Of course, I helped him with stuff too, and we were working on a project together, though I was the one who came up with the idea and did most of the work for it.

Thinking that he was friend and therefore assuming that anything I said to him would not be repeated, a couple of times I lost my temper when describing how someone else had been treating me (and the treatment was really terrible, causing me enough stress to force me into what I now understand was a near-meltdown state). He then spread a rumour about me of being a hothead who has a tendency to "throw fits". Everyone jumped on this bandwagon, and I have recently found out that several people, including my manager, was sending emails about me whenever ANYONE had even a calm conversation with me, and they even had a cute name, coined by my manager herself, for any interaction with me.

I have been let go (for reasons that were manufactured for convenience to make it all "legal"), and guess who got to take over the project I had worked so hard on (he had long since withdrawn from doing work on the project). The students I was teaching (in front of whom I never lost my temper or even raised my voice) accused me of throwing fits, and made up other stuff about me as well, such as by saying I called them stupid (which I absolutely never did). The telling thing was that the only students who said these things were the ones who were supervised by the colleague I thought was my friend. Other students (even those sitting in the same classroom at the same time as I gave my lectures) gave me decent ratings and never said anything overwhelmingly negative about me. Oh yeah, and if you're still not convinced, a video of one of my "friend"'s lectures clearly shows him making fun of and berating me in front of those same students who later said such terrible things about me. Did he get fired for this? No. I did.

How's that for "negative and tortuous treatment"?

Omg. That could not have better explsined. The horrific scenerio wherevu get labled as a trouble maker. Thst is whst happened! I am very sensitive and i had given the manager a booklet about something we both liked. In it, it talked anout a certain type of abuse i had endured. He then showed it to everone in the area. It was not cruel just fid not think how i might feel if everyone knew. I saw the book laying there and snatched it up in panic about 5 dsys later. Yes i over reacted, but then it was overkill for them. B4 i took the book, i was getting the sympathetic smiles which made me feel such shame. I did not want everyone 2know!!but after i took the book, wow. then it was just mean. NTs exaggerate what we do. Taking back the book was to them tantamount to punching domeone in the face!! Now prior to this., the manager spent a lot of time holding my hand, hugging me, telling me i was his special friend......f-ed w my head so bad. I thought he did like me. Them, After i took the book, wow.....mad as crap , would not look or talk to me, never ask me why just blacklist. and now other people avoid me . Yeah, okrad is trouble!!!! Stay away!!! Forget that i was hugging her and grabbing her hands. No she is the problem!!!