Hi everyone.
Looking for some perspective here.
So, my boyfriend who we suspect is Aspie, and I have slowly been overcoming our communication barriers.
One thing that became pretty apparent to me is that he doesn’t often validate my point of view or give compliments. In my NT world this is something I’m used to and have always taken for granted in My non-Aspie relationships.
It took me a while to realize the root of this disconnect between us.
So, he has been slow to realize that this is something that I need, just like somebody needs food or water. I know that sounds dramatic but it’s just true.
He says that he shows love through deeds.
My question is if it’s really a challenge for people on the spectrum to do this. I’m asking because we’ve gotten to the point where I’m flat coming out and asking him for feedback.
Like last night I said “what do you appreciate about me as a person?” He just looked at me with the most adorable smile. Then I could tell he was processing it. And he finally came up with something that I really appreciated.
Also, he seems to be very uncomfortable when I say nice things about him. It’s like he can’t accept a compliment. He will usually respond by confirming my observation. Like Ill say he has really nice blue eyes. And he’ll respond “yep, they’re blue.”
Is this an aspie thing or is it just his personality ?
Thanks.
Looking for some perspective here.
So, my boyfriend who we suspect is Aspie, and I have slowly been overcoming our communication barriers.
One thing that became pretty apparent to me is that he doesn’t often validate my point of view or give compliments. In my NT world this is something I’m used to and have always taken for granted in My non-Aspie relationships.
It took me a while to realize the root of this disconnect between us.
So, he has been slow to realize that this is something that I need, just like somebody needs food or water. I know that sounds dramatic but it’s just true.
He says that he shows love through deeds.
My question is if it’s really a challenge for people on the spectrum to do this. I’m asking because we’ve gotten to the point where I’m flat coming out and asking him for feedback.
Like last night I said “what do you appreciate about me as a person?” He just looked at me with the most adorable smile. Then I could tell he was processing it. And he finally came up with something that I really appreciated.
Also, he seems to be very uncomfortable when I say nice things about him. It’s like he can’t accept a compliment. He will usually respond by confirming my observation. Like Ill say he has really nice blue eyes. And he’ll respond “yep, they’re blue.”
Is this an aspie thing or is it just his personality ?
Thanks.