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Need to decompress

So basically, a few days ago, a friend of mine did something which really messed me up, and he involved my other friends, and so on and so forth. The point being that after the entire thing passed, I still think about it, even though everyone else had moved on. All this thinking has led to an inability to think about other things, like school, without all these other thoughts popping in, and it seems to be taking its toll on my physical health. I am also sleeping significantly worse since the incident, and I find it ridiculously hard to fall asleep.

I spoke with my dad about this, and he suggested that I should decompress from all the stress that all this has caused me. The thing is, I don’t know exactly what to do. In my experience, sports helps, but only for a while. Music grants me focus, but only when I listen to it. Art and artistic expression in general are things I find very frustrating.

So now I’m out of ideas, and I was wondering if any of you could suggest a way to decompress after an extremely stressful event. Thanks a bunch for reading.
 
Yes, some stuff bothers me too long after it stops bothering others. This still happens to me a bit but it is truly one thing that has gotten a little bit better with age.

Decompressing: I take the dog out, pet the cats, stim, and force myself to do something.
Nature helps. Eating comfort foid helps (but not too much of it). Finding a friend or a forum helps too.
 
Shutdowns for me inevitably mean one critical consideration.

To separate myself from the human race as much as is possible.

And take in the silence when and where possible.

-"Heavy-duty" decompression.
 
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Things do tend to affect us much longer than others. I can get my mind off it WHILE I'm doing and focusing on other things, but as soo as I stop it comes back. But the longer I can keep my mind on something else (something I enjoy doing), the better control I have over the thoughts as they come back. Think of something that when you do it, you can lose yourself in it. For me - re-arranging furniture which leads to thinking if I move this over there and that here, then I should put that over there and it can go on and on.
 
I think the sports thing is something to pursue. Even though it just last for a while. Keep doing it. A good work out is the best thing when we get stressed. And we need to do that regularly. Not just when we are stressed.
 
For decompressing, distressing, re-centering activities, I always recommend a creative activity. It can be:

Painting, drawing, sketching
Building something with Legos, models, kits
Writing a story, book, poem, song, computer program
Building a shed, patio covering, awning
Cooking, baking
Etc. - too many other activities to mention.

Basically, any activity in which you can immerse yourself into creating a thing, any thing, will be rewarding.

My personal favorites are baking cookies, working on a math program (I’ve been working on it for about two years now), writing poems, and making Metal Earth models.

The reason I recommend this is because of a quote someone shared with me one time: “Too often we try to consume happiness, when we can only create it.”
 
A soothing, repetitive activity usually works for me if it’s general, day to day stresses.

If it’s something a bit more intense,
I tend to distance myself from others and walk a lot (with my dog)
Or
Write.
I can swear and cuss and outrage at the injustice of something or figure out how I feel on paper as nobody will ever read it.
(I burn it all afterwards)
There’s something satisfying about watching it all go up in flames.

Transference of energies down on paper into ash and heat, watching it all float upwards is like letting go.
 
Be compassionate towards yourself

Treat yourself to some of your favorite things

Take warm, epsom salt and bubble baths, prior to going to sleep

Do things that involve positive sensory input, such as taking a walk or hike in nature, light nicely scented candles, put fresh cut flowers and herbs on your dining room table, and in other areas of your home, listen to soothing music, drink soothing herb tea and broth, eat chocolate. Those are some of mine, but, of course yours may be different.

I hope your thoughts diminish, soon, but, I know it can take time, as I've had a couple, similar experiences. You may be going through the process of grieving, which can only dissipate with time. Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings surface.

Perhaps, find a friend or group to talk to, who have experienced the same and understand exactly what you are going through.
 
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In the heat of the moment or shortly afterwards I run away from people to a spot by a lake or in the
woods and walk until I'm tired then sit and start focusing on the beauty around me in nature.
If the thoughts keep coming back I write them down which helps me feel better, then later in a couple of
days I re-read them and usually the sting is gone and I see it no longer bothers me.
 
For me, decompression woud mean staying at home, doing light, non-obligatory activities such as some work in the garden or cooking, listening to some music and perhaps ordering a new CD or record for my collection, watching a documentary or two, going out for a walk, getting a good night's sleep.

But you don't have to do anything... you could just spend all day watching TV, or looking out of the window if you wanted. It is actually the absence of obligation that helps me to decompress.
 

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