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Naming your strengths

AutistAcolyte

Active Member
I just had a meeting with my priest/boss and part of it was us coming up with strengths/weaknesses (she called it gifts and growth points, which was nice) and I had no trouble coming up with a few growth points that have been bothering me, but as usual I had a big mental block trying to come up with my strengths. It's something i've never been good at and i have a pretty strong memory of my cousin being kind of uncomfortable when she asked me whats something i'm proud of myself for and i couldnt come up with anything.

I don't think that this is an autistic trait per se, but I'm interested if anyone else here has the same trouble.

edit: it's not that I don't think I have any! when she named that I'm very good at solitary detailed-oriented work, doing the church accounting for example, I can see it, I just have trouble coming up with strengths on my own.
 

GypsyMoth

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Yeah, @Duna has a sister thread to this on things that are your "no-go's," and I had no trouble coming up with a few. But naming my strengths? Hmmm. Here's one:

Writing a lot.
(I know, it can be a weakness. But in the right context, I can leverage it as a strength, right???)
 

Outdated

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I never had any trouble naming my strengths, or weaknesses for that matter.

By far my greatest strength is my ability to learn. Both physical and mental skills, I pick things up much more quickly than most.
 

Darkkin

Lioness of Spoons
V.I.P Member
How can one name a strength when the world has spent the entirety of one's time on it striping one to the bone and then informing one one's bones are malformed?

Ask me to list a strength and I will tell you truthfully, I have none. Not one redeeming skill or ability.

Dirt helps things grow. I can't do that, thusly dirt has more strength and worth than I do...

I can appreciate the worth of dirt.
 

GypsyMoth

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
How can one name a strength when the world has spent the entirety of one's time on it striping one to the bone and then informing one one's bones are malformed?

Ask me to list a strength and I will tell you truthfully, I have none. Not one redeeming skill or ability.

Dirt helps things grow. I can't do that, thusly dirt has more strength and worth than I do...

I can appreciate the worth of dirt.
@Darkkin, you have an artful way of putting things. That's a strength.
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
V.I.P Member
How can one name a strength when the world has spent the entirety of one's time on it striping one to the bone and then informing one one's bones are malformed?

Ask me to list a strength and I will tell you truthfully, I have none. Not one redeeming skill or ability.

Dirt helps things grow. I can't do that, thusly dirt has more strength and worth than I do...

I can appreciate the worth of dirt.
Is there no strength in taking care of your animals? Not everyone has the fortitude to do this. Loving animals as much as you do is hard. We all know how much Potato Cat and Rue Dog are loved and even if it comes naturally to you, this is a great great strength.

Your writing is amazing. There is no doubt you have strength as a writer.

But isn’t that the great problem with all of this? We all will be able to see your strengths and articulate them so much more clearly than you do. I guess that’s the whole point of this thread.

I am able to see my strengths because I was trained to. It took a long time, but through therapy and supportive people in my life, I have learned to look for the strengths and notice them as tiny as they may be, because it is very important that we do believe in ourselves. So many of us are loners and if we do not enjoy our own company and see our own selves as awesome in our aloneness, then I think true sadness can settle in.

@AutistAcolyte, this is a great thread. Believing in our strength - this is super important work.
 

Luca

charm & chaos
V.I.P Member
My greatest strength is the fact that I wake up every day and keep going and being productive, despite the absolutely horrific life I've had up until this point, and the internal narrative that sometimes tells me I don't deserve to be here.
And the fact that I'm still capable of feeling love and empathy very strongly and I still want to help people. People who have heard my story often ask me "How can you still feel anything?" and the answer is that I don't want to be like the people who hurt me, and I don't think I'm capable of it either. I have every reason to be nihilistic and bitter and mean all the time but I'm not. I have pessimistic moments and some things about humanity do make me livid but I'm not exuding hatred everywhere I go.

In terms of talents, my greatest strength is obviously anything dog-related.
 

Silhouette Mirage

.
V.I.P Member
I genuinely used to not be able to come up with anything if I was ever asked this question, either out of some kind of reverse-drama or possibly a real loss for what my strengths even were. Thankfully now, I can rattle of a whole bunch of strengths and weaknesses (they're pretty neck-and neck) without much hassle or thinking that it's gloating. Knowing yourself (as well as your limitations) can be a pretty good strength in and of itself sometimes.

I'd argue that if we were more honest about our weaknesses we'd all be better off, but that's a topic for another thread!
 

Rodafina

Hopefully Human
V.I.P Member
OK, I said I was trained in seeing my strengths, but I forgot to prove it and share some. (as usual, @Luca inspired me and made me think.)

I think I am good at listening to people and taking the time to understand their perspective. Being open to understanding shows great strength.

I have strength because I know that there will be things I cannot handle and now I know how to ask for help. This makes me resourceful and therefore strong.

And the last one is a new one, but I am very proud of it. I learned that I do not give up… I guess sometimes, momentarily, but I always come back to the fight, ready with new force, and fighting for myself shows great strength.
 

Luca

charm & chaos
V.I.P Member
I genuinely used to not be able to come up with anything if I was ever asked this question, either out of some kind of reverse-drama or possibly a real loss for what my strengths even were. Thankfully now, I can rattle of a whole bunch of strengths and weaknesses (they're pretty neck-and neck) without much hassle or thinking that it's gloating. Knowing yourself (as well as your limitations) can be a pretty good strength in and of itself sometimes.

I'd argue that if we were more honest about our weaknesses we'd all be better off, but that's a topic for another thread!
Oh, my list of weaknesses could be an entire thread by itself lol!
Starting with my mental health… the “strengths” I just listed here come at a cost…
 

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
It is a world wide habit, because even neurotypicals have trouble looking at their positive points.

I, on the other hand, have learnt to look within myself and notice traits which are more positive. I am trustworthy with time. Never late or early. I have good staying power ( not always been the case). I have learnt to be moderate in pleasures and things that need to be done.

I am able to face uncomfortable issues now.

I think that we are the spectrum actually are the ones who can look at our strengths.
 

phantom

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I am good at math and programming, i think that's about it. Not super talented just a regular strength.
 
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SusanLR

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
At one time I could not answer one thing when I was asked this question.
Time and therapy have now made it possible.

Mindfulness.

Very aware of the world around me.

Love to study and learn new things or more about what I already know.

Strong tolerance to pain and illness. Getting through some major health battles have proved this.

Finding I have strength to tolerate those who may be abusive or rude of mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Weaknesses are still anxiety and depression.
Finding changes in life/routines difficult.
 

Duna

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Yeah, @Duna has a sister thread to this on things that are your "no-go's," and I had no trouble coming up with a few. But naming my strengths? Hmmm. Here's one:

Writing a lot.
(I know, it can be a weakness. But in the right context, I can leverage it as a strength, right???)
I do write a lot, ever have since I was about 10. I don't see it as a weakness, why should it be, unless of course you forget everything else but then writing would be only the manifestation of something else.

I say I write a lot. I do it because what I actually do is invent stories, which my way to process thing. Writing is just a menas to bring some order into all those ideas, and also helps slowing down the creative part, and making me think about details and not just a stream of events and situations.

So being creative is one of my strengths.
I'm also very good at analyzing things, and finding patterns.
Together with my creativity this makes me good at problem solving.
And I am a fast learner, though not by reading books.

So there is three of my strengths.
There are some others, more related to social interactions, like being good at listening, being loyal and open-minded. And I don't make promises I can't or won't keep.
 
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Au Naturel

Au Naturel
If I have a strength, it may be writing. Or not. I'm also good at handling physical pain. I'm good with pets. That's about the end of it. Most of my imagined strengths in the past were really illusions.
 

GypsyMoth

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
... Most of my imagined strengths in the past were really illusions.
I have faced that, too. Or with a new group of people, people can't just take you as they are, they've got to test you, and keep on testing you--your patience, your ambition. I had two conversations today where things that I value, things that I know I knew, came to light--and the co-worker's responses were given as if I was the one with the interpretive problem! Well, maybe, in interpreting my thoughts into language.

There will always be someone better, more talented, smarter and more capable, to measure ourselves by. We should just forget all of that and develop what's good about us to a higher level of competency.

Sometimes I wonder if strengths I formerly imagined weren't imaginations but would be things that might come out more positively in a different social context. (Although, I must admit, I haven't spent a lot of time imagining this.)
 

Gerontius

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I didn't know how to even recognize strength in myself when I was a little younger because I felt like doing so would be prideful or arrogant. It was a bit of a struggle to get to where I could even do that.

Turns out, I am beginning to suspect people have two main kinds of weakness; the weakness we recognize as a vice of deficient goodness or surplus badness, and then the sort of things we value highly but wish we possessed more of, to the point we resent ourselves for having a little when we'd prefer a lot instead.

Maybe I'm making that one up, I just kinda thought about it.

The strengths I have are things I wish I was better at. So these are works in progress

Pretty well okay with changing my beliefs when proven wrong
a half decent mechanic,
Quiet enough that sometimes people will talk to me about their problems. Somehow I'm both the fussy old-school Catholic guy and the one in my friend group who the LGBTQIA folks all come out to.
I'm getting better with decreasing attachment to unhealthy things.
I've decided that I am not going to be truly happy unless I am ok with a fulfilling life. And since life hurts,
I'm glad I'm getting a control over some of my reaction to pain.

Oh and I'm really not bad at taking apart record players and putting them together again, especially the old ones which ran without electricity.
 

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