Helplessgirl
New Member
Dear all,
I am an NT girl (and English is not my native tongue) and my boyfriend whom I suspect he has aspergers left me yesterday evening.
I will tell in short what happened. I am so desperatly in need for some advice and help because I love him so much! We are both 29 and he has a stressful job as a doctor. Our relationship lasted for 6 months. Within this time out relation was very intense, intimate; always holding each others hands, always kissing and touching etc.
Of course like all relationships we had sometimes our ups and downs where we sometimes had little discussions. A few times he said something was missing in the relationship but he didn't knew what. And I found him sometimes emotional cold causing little problem in the binding to each other. Now I think it may come from his aspergers?
Anyway.. Last week I send him a text with my emotions described and he was very overwhelmed and wanted to break up. I tried to talk to him not breaking up with me, and explained him rational why I send that text message etc. Then of course he told me my lacks; what I didn't do good in the relationship. I was ok to work on it and I promised I would do it. So after the fight we decided to give it a chance and meet up the next day.
It was a good date and we talked a lot. We decided what to do next week, and made up some plans for august.
And then... Yesterday morning we had no problem. We talked,and he asked me if I want to contribute financial for the wedding gift of his friends this August I was also invited to. That we would celebrate his last day at work next week..
But he send me yesterday after work a text that he still felt negative since a couple of days and was overthinking about us and he was really confused. So I called him immediately to hear his voice and try to understand him. And again I explained him that relationships aren't easy, that no couple is perfectly matching etc. But that love, loyalty and respect also counts. And that we have to communicate more with each other etc. I asked him if he would regret leaving me? And he said yes, that's why he can't make a decision to leave me. So he has feelings for me, but his rational thinking overwhelms everything. After my talk he was thankful because he said he felt much better about us and had no more doubts.
But again.. After two hours he send me text that he had been thinking and wants to end the relationship.. I tried, but there was no turning back this time. So I said farewell to him and he blocked me on everything... This hurts so much.. leaving me isn't easy he said, but yet he left me. I know he as issues and can't cope with a relationship. But this hurts so much I've never felt a pain like this.....
Please tell me how would it be for him to leave me? Would he miss me, and think about me and our times together? The way I looked in his eyes with love and caress his face.. He liked this very much. But now he is gone..
Please help me what to do... I am very desperate
Few reasons why I think he has aspergers:
-until age of 23 he found relationships stupid. And only began a casual relationship to experience sex with. But left her very soon. Then he got two more short relationships and left them too. And he blocked them immediately over whatsapp because they weren't the right person.
-After last relationship decided he would stay single for ever. Until he met me.
-Likes routines and is very very very RATIONAL. Can't handle emotions, BUT is inside very sensitive
-Isn't very sexual.. Masturbates sometimes. No realy need for it until it is with me.
-Egocentric and thinks black - white
-Overthinks about everything
-Can't handle when he is in stress at work and relationship
I am an NT girl (and English is not my native tongue) and my boyfriend whom I suspect he has aspergers left me yesterday evening.
I will tell in short what happened. I am so desperatly in need for some advice and help because I love him so much! We are both 29 and he has a stressful job as a doctor. Our relationship lasted for 6 months. Within this time out relation was very intense, intimate; always holding each others hands, always kissing and touching etc.
Of course like all relationships we had sometimes our ups and downs where we sometimes had little discussions. A few times he said something was missing in the relationship but he didn't knew what. And I found him sometimes emotional cold causing little problem in the binding to each other. Now I think it may come from his aspergers?
Anyway.. Last week I send him a text with my emotions described and he was very overwhelmed and wanted to break up. I tried to talk to him not breaking up with me, and explained him rational why I send that text message etc. Then of course he told me my lacks; what I didn't do good in the relationship. I was ok to work on it and I promised I would do it. So after the fight we decided to give it a chance and meet up the next day.
It was a good date and we talked a lot. We decided what to do next week, and made up some plans for august.
And then... Yesterday morning we had no problem. We talked,and he asked me if I want to contribute financial for the wedding gift of his friends this August I was also invited to. That we would celebrate his last day at work next week..
But he send me yesterday after work a text that he still felt negative since a couple of days and was overthinking about us and he was really confused. So I called him immediately to hear his voice and try to understand him. And again I explained him that relationships aren't easy, that no couple is perfectly matching etc. But that love, loyalty and respect also counts. And that we have to communicate more with each other etc. I asked him if he would regret leaving me? And he said yes, that's why he can't make a decision to leave me. So he has feelings for me, but his rational thinking overwhelms everything. After my talk he was thankful because he said he felt much better about us and had no more doubts.
But again.. After two hours he send me text that he had been thinking and wants to end the relationship.. I tried, but there was no turning back this time. So I said farewell to him and he blocked me on everything... This hurts so much.. leaving me isn't easy he said, but yet he left me. I know he as issues and can't cope with a relationship. But this hurts so much I've never felt a pain like this.....
Please tell me how would it be for him to leave me? Would he miss me, and think about me and our times together? The way I looked in his eyes with love and caress his face.. He liked this very much. But now he is gone..
Please help me what to do... I am very desperate
Few reasons why I think he has aspergers:
-until age of 23 he found relationships stupid. And only began a casual relationship to experience sex with. But left her very soon. Then he got two more short relationships and left them too. And he blocked them immediately over whatsapp because they weren't the right person.
-After last relationship decided he would stay single for ever. Until he met me.
-Likes routines and is very very very RATIONAL. Can't handle emotions, BUT is inside very sensitive
-Isn't very sexual.. Masturbates sometimes. No realy need for it until it is with me.
-Egocentric and thinks black - white
-Overthinks about everything
-Can't handle when he is in stress at work and relationship
