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My parents are never honest about what I dream

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by Matthew Behnke, Feb 13, 2020 at 7:41 PM.

  1. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I feel constantly my autism, OCD, depression, ADHD made it worse but my parents too, they know I have a dream to learn language and go to target country of it but downplay my relationship as if the girl I liked didn't really get me to where I was, but I kind of feel that way, because I feel as if I really wanted to be in that other world the girl was in and hated mine, but my parents feel my dreams as an autistic person don't matter, I feel like I am just going to rot in my own anxiety and slowly die, don't they realize there is only one life and they will die too? I love my world but what is going to happen when all the people in my world die and I won't be able to experience other worlds? It is stuff like this that makes me want to just be depressed, I feel one day everything is fine but the other day I feel really bad because I figure something out that makes me want to just not live anymore, sure, I am happy with my family? But what good does it do staying with them in their own world forever? Why is the boundaries of what people we can meet on this earth restricted by our parents and people who are not autistic that society expects? My brother's okay but he has better things to do in life than I do.

    In reality, humans are just like animals, being confused and not knowing what other species are like, providing for their families, being concerned for their loved ones, and living on the same planet, the only thing is that the humans are on top of the food chain and don't care for those other species that live on the Earth or think they are just like us, to us, they are just second-class citizens stealing our place.

    Sure, my parents are happy with the girl I like and the fact I am using the language I learn to communicate with them via Russian, but do they really think happiness comes in their world only? I shouldn't stay in their world but society expects realistic dreams from humans themselves, treats them just like how we treat animals, tells us to stay out of those other spaces they don't reside in, but wants us to stay in their bubble, if we try to get out, it only causes us stress mentally but if we succeed, we beat their expectations and become happy.

    You shouldn't listen to those other humans because in reality, everyone at one point on this earth was happy when we only respected nature around us and used our spirits to go to other continents we didn't think were possible, that is what native people did during the Ice Age did and succeeded in, they thought it was possible back then because spiritually they believed but no one does now because we are trapped in our own worlds and refuse to explore others.
     
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  2. Schism

    Schism Authentic Alien

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    To be honest, I think you're describing a major crush, all other mh problems aside. Try not to over complicate things. Love or infatuation: beautiful & agonising at the same time.

    Neither will I say it's your age & hormones (may be a part; you are going through major mental & physical changes atm). Hormones rule our lives throughout. Older people can get crushes just as bad.

    I do agree our society is sadly far removed from what we truly need as human animals both physically & mentally. The price paid for intelligence & comprehension. Just stick to what makes you happy. Ignore the rest. Life is one big learning curve, or curve ball is probably more accurate!
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2020 at 8:51 PM
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  3. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Think you are going through *what does it all mean* and why are my parents like this* and why do l feel so different?*
    You have a lot of questions at your age. Think l had those questions for sometime in my life. Some of this is you finding yourself and becoming more independent, it's part of getting your wings. It's not exactly comfortable but you are attempting to find your place in life, it's kinda of coming of age where you find everything doesn't revolve around you and you are stepping out of yourself to observe more of that around you, simply put- you are evolving and maturing which means asking a lot of questions which usually nobody answers so you find your own answers. These are great thoughts you have and you are realising life is a little more complicated then it seems. You seem to me, to be trying to grasp the bigger picture of what does it all mean?
     
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  4. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    The world is not impossible, our earth is our earth, no one owns the Earth, accept for us, anything is possible on this Earth and nothing can stop you, we can find other places on this Earth if we just look for it ourselves, I would never abandon my own girlfriend because there is potential for me to potentially explore outside my own world, the Earth is huge, no one controls it, we live in this world with several different species, this is why you shouldn't give up, because mentally we are capable including animals too, we can find hope in the right places, for millions of years, people explored different continents, made their own life, and succeeded.
     
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  5. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    While your parents do have a lot of control over what you can do and can't do when you are a minor, they can do nothing to stop you once you become an adult. My advice would be to keep going towards your goals and then once you are of age, get out there and do them. If I can do it, I believe anyone can.
     
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  6. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I really hope, while I want to keep doing those things when I am older, I still am struggling at an awful time and too young, my parents do want me to learn the language and go to Russia but my girlfriend is one thing I would never abandon just because I know how much I had to go through and had to stay with her through that whole time and she was pretty good at keeping my head up, but at the same time, they are saving money up to travel to Russia but I just feel still when it comes to love, they don't think very well and don't realize the world is not impossible, I just don't want them to do things that potentially isolates my want of an ideal life from them and I still feel I could find any love or experience on this Earth as it is big.
     
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  7. Rocco

    Rocco Wandering Trainwreck V.I.P Member

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    This video has been immensely helpful to me, as have many from Minds in Unison. It is positive affirmations delivered in a subliminal format, paired with a soothing water sound. I hope you can find some comfort and happiness from it.
    best wishes,
    Rocco

     
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  8. VAW

    VAW Active Member

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    I sure understand what you are saying. Now from a mother's perspective..... My son is 31 now, he hasn't experienced life too much outside of his normal surroundings because of his ASD and other physical ailments. At one time he was so in love with this girl (actually he still is) she was a long distance relationship, but he talked to her every day for like 8 years, constantly, they met a few times for the week end then one day she moved in with another guy and stopped talking to him which threw him into a deep dark spiral downwards. Before she did that they were talking about moving in together but it would be in her area which was only two states over but I became very stress about that because I always take him to his doctor appointments, I take him for groceries, I take him to places he needs to go. Sometimes he doesn't talk at all when he gets too stressed and because of his UC he starts bleeding more which can turn into a hospital stay... so I was really concerned about his welfare. As a mother of course I tried to give him all the freedom he wanted but I know I still do most everything for him and now what? He will be in a strange (to him) state without a car, and not knowing where doctor's are and also living on her terms. He spoke like you, not wanting to live in this empty existence anymore, not wanting to live at all. He doesn't live at home, he lives with his brother and they split the rent. Being a mother I don't think your parents feel that your dreams don't matter, I would be very scared especially if my son were to move to a whole new country even at 31. Since being on this forum I do understand more and dealing with a person who has ASD I understand more too, but that doesn't make it easier for us to deal with it in reality. My other son (who doesn't have ASD) went to visit friends in L.A., then went to Washington, had gone to Las Vegas, and New Orleans, Louisiana. Each trip he took I worried like crazy! I made him call me everyday or send a text just so I knew he was okay. I remember telling him why do you have to go to those places? Why can't you just be happy staying in this area? His answer to me was what is the purpose if I can never live life???? I think I was a street kid, I was always out and I got into trouble, I have had some really bad things happen to me and I think that is why I fear so much for my kids. BUT I have faced the fact that they are grown now and I can't stand in their way anyhow! I think when you reach an age of adulthood they will probably support you more in your endeavors. So don't stress about it, just live each day one day at a time and things have a way of working out. I think you should continue your dream and as you get older you will have their backing more. IF not? hey you will be an adult and can do it your way anyway. Right now You are still their child (I know you are a teenager but to them you are their kid) They will try to steer you in the way they think is right... that is what parents do. Their way may not be right but it is their way, and they wouldn't steer you in a way that wasn't their way. lol You have no way of knowing what tomorrow will bring so don't even try, just live today, keep your dreams at hand and know you will be okay!
     
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