My mother keeps calling me.

[Tony Ramirez]

I am trying to relax watching videos or listening to music then my mother calls me for every little thing like what do you want to eat to I am having issues with my computer and not just once but multiple times.

So if I chilling listening to EDM and getting into the mix my music stops and her picture and name pops up. I of course get angry after she called the third time in the row inturruped my music or freezing my video again then she says I have a attitude problem then she says angry I aint getting you anything. She is very mean person to other people who do something wrong to her and holds grudges. The worst is when I am trying to type in my journal and she calls multiple times and I lose my train of thought. If I am doing something and get inturruped I forget what I am doing.

Instead I want my friends to call me but they only text me back after I message them but it's a short text.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Also when I go to the Yoga studio I keep my phone in my jacket in another room and when I get ready to leave I already sometimes see missed calls from her.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

My father is still alive but it's true her outside friends are all in Florida.

 

[NB79]

Be patient with your mom, interrupting your music is nothing, your mom is more important than the music, don't be mean to her you can regret it later. I am also guilty sometimes of not doing enough for my parents even with my issues and that they don't understand much, i'm trying to do better.

 

[VictorR]

Have you considered viewing your mother as a friend?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Be patient with your mom, interrupting your music is nothing, your mom is more important than the music, don't be mean to her you can regret it later. I am also guilty sometimes of not doing enough for my parents even with my issues and that they don't understand much, i'm trying to do better.

Thanks I will try. The thing is I was also typing in my journal and if I am inturruped I forget what I am typing.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Have you considered viewing your mother as a friend?

I try to talk to her but she gets nasty with me. Like when we were talking nice then I said my friend came over she got so angry at me blaming me because the house was a mess.

I don't tell her about me going to yoga because I know she will object saying what are you a yuppie and that I hope you are not paying anything which then she would object.

 

[Rodafina]

I do agree with what other people are saying about finding special compassion for your mother, but I wonder if you can strike a balance here.

During really important things like writing in your journal, going to yoga class, or even the occasional relaxing video, could you put your phone in do not disturb mode or somehow otherwise silence her alerts?

I do understand it’s important to make time for mothers, but if yours is being overly intrusive and unkind, I think it’s okay to set a few boundaries.

 

[Suzanne]

A lady whom I a studying with has two daughters and her second daughter has ADHD and acts up in a terrible way ( mostly, because mum has enabled her, which she openly admits).

Anyway, her daughter likes to go out a lot, but she does not drive, and so, mum has to drop everything when her daughter wants to go somewhere and when daughter does not text mum, mum gets very anxious, so taking this slant on things, does her daughter have the RIGHT to get angry with her mother? Does she have the RIGHT to demand her mother drop everything and take her places and pick her up? Basically, her daughter behaves similar to you in that she gets extremely angry with her mother for BOTHERING her all the time.

It is easy to take those we live with for granted, but if anything happened to your mother; what would happen then? Would you be relieved or not?

 

[Gerontius]

I'm going to take a different tack on this one. Some mothers are every bit as toxic as whatever else. The possibility I'm not seeing answers for, but which I would want to know, is--Tony has said on here before that he's almost like afraid of women. I wonder, has your mom had something to do with that?
I don't know what you do for a living, but I know of a fellow who has a master's in nuclear physics and he's so much under the sway of his mother that he's never held a solid job.

 

[NB79]

I think people with aspergers sometimes are walked over, and parents make decisions etc for them, it can be hard to put boundaries, so there needs to be a balance, they should know they need to respect you too.

 

[Kalinychta]

Just because your phone rings doesn’t mean you have to answer it. If you don’t want to be interrupted, why don’t you just silence your phone and banish it to the side table? I do.

 

[AprilR]

I like to talk with my mom, but sometimes she calls when i am in the middle of something and i don't answer. I call her later when i have time or just text.

 

[Knower of nothing]

Have you considered viewing your mother as a friend?

This has the adverse effect when you take their imposed importance as parent away and discover they kind of just take you for granted and act poorly towards you. Bad friends get dropped a lot faster than bad parents.

 

[paloftoon]

Tony, you should ask your mother for a schedule of alone time. Any requests she have can wait outside of this alone time. Maybe your alone time should be 1 or 2 hours a day.
Also, your mother is probably angry because she might be frustrated that she feels like you're capable of working on your own and more. However, I'm under the impression you just stay at home all day and get fed by your mother/family. You live with her in her home, and if you don't even have a job, she "calls all the shots."

Honestly, once you are on your own, are you going to still have your possessions and be able to maintain where you live?