My mom's always placing stress on me...

[AngelWings17]

So basically, no matter what I do, my mom doesn't like it. I had a gathering yesterday and I offered to pay for the pizza. She didn't like that. I hung out with my boyfriend and one of our friends today to go see a charity fashion show, then go out to eat. I forgot the address of the house the show was at. She didn't like that. Then we went out to see a movie as a last minute plan and I forgot to let her know. She didn't like that. Today I also forgot to bag up my dog's food. She didn't like that. How can I get her to understand that it's this house that causes my stress?

 

[King_Oni]

I think something that's worth noting is that you're generalizing.

A few things you point out sound more like you're being a bit forgetful... something which is understandable for people to get annoyed over. Is it realistic for her to let you know? Well, perhaps she should do it in a different way... I've always found that there's a big difference in how you relay the message when you're annoyed with someone.

Perhaps your mom doesn't like a lot of stuff you do, but like I pointed out, perhaps if you try to be a bit more organized (and less forgetful) your mom might be less hostile towards you over those things and the amount of stress will reduce.

Of course, you could talk to your mom and tell her you'd like her to just be a bit less "agressive", but then again, not everyones mom is a laid back person, heh.

 

[Suzanne]

When you say: she didn't like that? Can you elaborate on what she didn't like?

I assume you live at home still, from your statement about "this house is what is stressing me out"? If so, is it at all possible that mum was WORRIED about you?

Just the other day, my husband went out for the whole day and without fail, he ALWAYS texts me to say hi etc, but this day, not a word from him. At first I was not so concerned. I knew what he was doing and so, when I phoned him and the voice message came through, I looked at the time and realised what he was doing ie a bible study. It was only when it was nearing the end of the day and I had tried again to phone and yet again, no message, and also a few text messages, that I started to panic and wondered what on earth was going on! I text a few friends and one friend said that he was with another sister ( preaching). Now, I trust my husband 100% with being faithful and so, I text the sister and no response and so, now I am being to really get upset, that something had happened. I reiterate that not a day goes by when my husband does not text me; it is a part of his make up to text. I phoned and I am afraid I was in tears by then and left rather a garbled message. He FINALLY got back to me and said he had not realised the time had gone by so fast and eventually he acknowledge it was very remiss of him for as I pointed out, he would go berserk if it had been me! Because of his first response which was not very nice, he angered me and I said: it is best you do not return home tonight. I was, however, able to state what was in my heart, because it was via text: terrible face to face. So, he calmed me down because I said to him that how would he feel if the very first time I did not text him, it was because I was with another spiritual brother alone ie preaching ( Jehovah's Witnesses)? He thankfully got the point and then said that his heart and mind is intrinsic connected to mine. I cannot deny, I felt warm with emotion and on seeing each other, we hugged and he again apologised for worrying me ie being thoughtless.

Being that we are aspie's means that we can learn; it is not like classic autism. So we can look at the situation and think: am I being unfair and what can I do, to ease the situation.