My friends don't like eachother.

[LuxLuca]

I've recently gotten a closer friendship with an acquaintance due to an online game we both play semi competitively, I'll call her "Shorty" here.

I'm having a lot of fun playing games with her and our cynical humor really clicks. She's, however, quick to judge someone and focus on their negative side as opposed to taking them as a whole person. She also is on the spectrum and we can relate a lot on the subject.

Shorty ended up having a conflict with a very close friend of mine, we'll call her Angel, leading to them having no contact anymore (they also were acquaintances). It's a little bit sad, even though I understand both of their reasons. They don't quite understand eachother and I do not want to be the one to glue it back together just for the sake of my comfort.

There is just the issue that they seem to get somewhat jealous when I play with the other and vice versa.

Angel even picks a fight with me due to insecurity (she has borderline) when she sees/hears that I've been playing with the other friend. She never tells me I'm not allowed to play with others and apologizes for her outburst but it still eats energy. It even makes me want to hide when I'm playing. We've started playing this game at the same time but I am much more active and of higher level than her. So sometimes I miss the challenge when I play with her or my other friends. Angel seems a bit offended by that thought since she feels like she's just as good as me. (A whole other subject of annoyance since that's just factually incorrect, I don't even mind people being better than me but she has no basis to claim this. It weirdly rubs my pride the wrong way.)

Shorty in turn just speaks really negatively about Angel and others that I play with. They are not on the same competitive level and don't preform that well so her criticism isn't exactly wrong, but it's not really applicable to their goal while playing. She often says I'm absolutely carrying them when I play with them and highlights what they do wrong. It's not very unusual for her to do this, she tends to have these comments for most people that play the game.

I've explained to her that those friends (aside from Angel) have just started playing and that it's weird to expect top tier play from them from the get go. She agrees to this but I also understand that, as a serious player, watching someone make rookie mistakes can be frustrating. It just makes me feel like I should be ashamed, which I dislike greatly (I do not feel ashamed). She also is very clear on not wanting to talk to Angel any more, but doesn't avoid her as actively as Angel does to Shorty.

Is this a normal situation? I understand them both but I don't know if I could ask or get angry at them for making things arguably difficult for me. I wouldn't even feel capable to explain what is bothering me to either of them. I don't this this is a normal situation, I just don't know what to do with my stress.

 

[Homulilly]

Is Angel on the spectrum?

I actually think they both lack the emotional maturity to not cause you problems when they don’t like each other. The fact that two of someone’s friends might not like each other is not very uncommon.

 

[LuxLuca]

Is Angel on the spectrum?

I don't think she is, it is however something that runs in her family. She's been diagnosed as having a personality disorder, Cluster B. It could be a misdiagnosis due to her being female.

They do both indeed sound a little immature when I think about it.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

In terms of society its totally normal that people talk bad of each other, its also pretty normal that when a group breaks the sub-groups will try you to chosse sides. If you dont choose sides you may end losing boths. Sadly thats very much how groups work, specially girls groups tend to be more unstable than mens groups.

Being it normal in the sense that happens a lot, it neither makes sense to me...

Good luck with that, you could start looking for a guild that matches your level and skill so you can play in your own.

 

[LuxLuca]

you could start looking for a guild

I've been thinking about that too.. but as of now, I own the guild. It's rather inactive though, I've been thinking about dropping it.

 

[paloftoon]

This is tough, especially since that you play semi-competitively. All you can do is try to spend about as much time with one friend as the other friend. Let it naturally play out if you don't work out with a friend, but it won't have anything to do with you getting involved with the scuffle between these two. Also, be very open and understanding if either friend thinks it's best to be part of another team or not.

Semi-competitive means that both friends are on the same team as you currently?
If not, then it doesn't sound truly even "semi" competitive.
If that's the case, then the competitive player should look for a more competitive league.