My dog passed away today

[YancyyyComet9000]

My dog passed away today. I know I should feel sad, logically thinking I know I would be and I am I guess. But I don't really feel it. Death has never really been something I fully understand I guess.
The thing that's hitting hardest is knowing how much this will change now. My dog has been a constant in my life for 14 years. And now she's gone things are different and I know so many things in the future will change. And I don't like it. But I feel like that's not what should be making me feel bad.
I don't really know what to think. Right now I guess I'm fine. Things feel just the same as this morning. I feel like my family seemed sad. We buried her and stood around her for a bit. But I didn't really feel anything from it. Whereas I know my siblings did. My parents have said if I feel sad I can come to them. But I don't feel sad about that. I just don't know how to deal with no longer having a dog around and I'm not going to tell them that.
All I can think about is how much I want another dog, just to have a dog around again. Which again feels wrong. I shouldn't be thinking that this soon should I. Does anyone understand? I haven't been diagnosed with autism. I don't know if I'm just being heartless

 

[tree]

Sometimes feeling nothing can be a way to
protect a person from feeling too much, being
overwhelmed, at the moment. Like a layer of
numbness.

The dog was around most of your life.
Her absence leaves a blank space and you want
to fill that space.

What relationship did you have with the dog?
Feeding, grooming, walking, playing with etc?
She wasn't just an inert fixture, as far you were
concerned was she?

 

[Outdated]

I understand exactly, you just described me. When Ruby died I should have been heart broken but it doesn't hit me like it does most people. As you get older you end up with a lot of friends who are also old, naturally this means that you start losing a few friends. I'm a little bit sad when they die, I miss some of them, but it doesn't really bother me a lot. I don't bother going to funerals because I can't see the point, gone is gone.

With a couple of friends who knew they were dying I was the one they preferred to talk to, simply because I wasn't prone to getting all over excited about it like most NTs do.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I have heard some people wanting a new dog after losing one. Some people are just ready to love another dog. It doesn’t mean that they love their old one less. The neighbors I grew up next to got another dog about a month after one of them had died and got another shortly after the second older dog that they had for years with the first one had died. They just enjoyed have dogs.

 

[Rodafina]

My dog passed away today. I know I should feel sad, logically thinking I know I would be and I am I guess. But I don't really feel it. Death has never really been something I fully understand I guess.
The thing that's hitting hardest is knowing how much this will change now. My dog has been a constant in my life for 14 years. And now she's gone things are different and I know so many things in the future will change. And I don't like it. But I feel like that's not what should be making me feel bad.
I don't really know what to think. Right now I guess I'm fine. Things feel just the same as this morning. I feel like my family seemed sad. We buried her and stood around her for a bit. But I didn't really feel anything from it. Whereas I know my siblings did. My parents have said if I feel sad I can come to them. But I don't feel sad about that. I just don't know how to deal with no longer having a dog around and I'm not going to tell them that.
All I can think about is how much I want another dog, just to have a dog around again. Which again feels wrong. I shouldn't be thinking that this soon should I. Does anyone understand? I haven't been diagnosed with autism. I don't know if I'm just being heartless

So I am very different than you, but everyone handles loss and grief in a uniquely personal way.

Like @tree, said, you lost a very consistent part of your life and surely you will be affected by it. How you end up feeling that and showing it externally doesn’t have to be anything specific. If you can, just trust what you are feeling and try not to worry about being heartless, because that is likely not the case.

Sometimes, a really “heartfelt” way that people mourn the loss of their pets is to share the ways in which they were wonderful. Is there anything you would want to share with us about your pup?

 

[maycontainthunder]

I've lost three dogs so I know how you feel @YancyyyComet9000 . There was a three month gap between losing Dog V1 and getting V2. There was a 4 year gap then V3 came into our lives. One month after losing him V4 came into our lives and he's bonkers.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

All I can think about is how much I want another dog, just to have a dog around again. Which again feels wrong. I shouldn't be thinking that this soon should I. Does anyone understand?

Yes, I do. Having a pet in your life that you have cared for leaves an impression. It is not wrong to want another furbaby. It will not erase your memories of your dog. When our previous cat died it was only 5 months later and we adopted two from a shelter, sisters. We have learned that despite the normal behavior ascribed to cats and dogs, each one has its own personality.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Sometimes when bad things happen, I'm in such shock that I don't realize how deeply I feel something. Then about a week later, the grief all hits me like a ton of bricks. Go easy on yourself. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Sometimes when bad things happen, I'm in such shock that I don't realize how deeply I feel something. Then about a week later, the grief all hits me like a ton of bricks. Go easy on yourself. I'm so sorry for your loss.

@Yeshuasdaughter you are so perceptive.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry to hear you lost a dear friend. It's great that you had a important bond with that dog. Animals give so much unconditional love.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I’m sorry your dog died. 14 years is a long time. Grief works differently in different people. You don’t need to feel bad or guilty about your feelings or lack thereof.

You can get a new dog as soon as you want to. My friend whose dog passed away got a new puppy fairly soon after. No dog will ever take Marley’s place, but the puppy does bring joy into her life and helps to fill that empty place.

 

[mysterionz]

OP, take as much time as you need to grieve.. whatever decision you make, we will support you

 

[Fino]

My family gets a new dog within a month or two, if that long.

 

[Duna]

I know I should feel sad, logically thinking I know I would be and I am I guess. But I don't really feel it.

First:
Sorry for your loss!

Then:
One of my two dogs died about two months ago. Turned up dead one day in my neighbor's yard. She was relatively young, but extremely reckless.
I've had lots of dogs before, many died of different causes, one old rescue (Duna, haha) I had to put down because she had terminal cancer and was agonizing.
I never cried, I never felt really sad. I grew up knowing that my older brother had died before I was born. Death is a part of life, and inevitable. It come somes sooner or later to every living thing. It's easier when death is because of illness or old age, because one can gradually prepare.
Maybe that's why Chatty's death (the one who does two months ago) seemed to hit me harder. Or maybe because I had a very relationship with her.

Some people are just ready to love another dog.

I got Ana about two weeks ago, after looking for a new dog for about another two. It was partly because I need to have a dog at night, if not necessarily their bodies close to mine (not in the summer!) but their breathing calms me down.
The main reason however was that my other dog wouldn't eat unless I ate with her or I invited one of my neighbor's dogs over. Vet suggested she was feeling alone.

So everything you are going through and thinking about is normal. Sometimes it takes a little longer to process, sometimes it's easier to overcome.

Here a photo of Chatty (the blonde one) and Machi

 

[Outdated]

I find it interesting to note how many neurotypical responses there are in this thread. Not criticising, just noticing.

I have only ever felt grief twice in my life, and both times it was at the end of a relationship with a woman. Even as a child when my grandfather died it didn't have any real impact on me. He was the most beloved member of my family but when he died I felt momentarily disappointed and then I forgot about it.

Everyone always reacts towards me as if they expect me to be grieving and I have to try and pretend that I'm upset. I'm pretty good at masking but pretending to be upset when I'm not isn't easy.

And @YancyyyComet9000 , this doesn't mean you're heartless or cruel, some of us just don't have the same emotional responses that everyone else does. It doesn't mean that you don't love, and quite frankly, I reckon I'm much better off for not having to suffer grief.

 

[Judge]

We all deal with grief in our own way. That there is no actual right-or wrong way of doing so.

Take care...