My birthday is coming up , and I'm already depressed.

[SimplyWandering]

Every year I have a birthday, and constantly have to wonder if anyone will send praise (Happy birthday) or If i will receive nothing at all. I know Ill get a call from my mom atleast.

Im fine with receiving no praise, but it's uncomfortable being alone or acknowledged by others when they haven't talked to me in forever... last year i just slept it off. Thought i would have reconnected with people this year, but with the pandemic, it has been even less.


People tell me it gets easier being alone as you get older ... they lied.

This year has been brought to you in part by the Letter "D" for DepressameStreet.

 

[unperson]

Best wishes for your birthday SW!

 

[Ezra]

People don't remember others birthdays unless Facebook or similar reminds them.

 

[Sarah S]

Every year I have a birthday, and constantly have to wonder if anyone will send praise (Happy birthday) or If i will receive nothing at all. I know Ill get a call from my mom atleast.

Im fine with receiving no praise, but it's uncomfortable being alone or acknowledged by others when they haven't talked to me in forever... last year i just slept it off. Thought i would have reconnected with people this year, but with the pandemic, it has been even less.


People tell me it gets easier being alone as you get older ... they lied.

This year has been brought to you in part by the Letter "D" for DepressameStreet.

For me personally i dont even care about my birthdays / Big holidays etc... I stopped a LOOONG time ago and not that many remembered me this year either SO Im however grateful that even in here i got a few congratulations

It actually do get easier with time to learn how to be alone (i know it has for me ) BUT of course you also need to have this in you to be a lone wolf

Either way i understand youre frustration as i get thru that EVERY birthday and big holiday since MANY years back (hence i dont celibate either of them anymore )

 

[RESleight]

last year i just slept it off. Thought i would have reconnected with people this year, but with the pandemic, it has been even less.


People tell me it gets easier being alone as you get older ... they lied.

This year has been brought to you in part by the Letter "D" for DepressameStreet.

"DepressameStreet" Cloudy days...sweeping the, sun away...

I know how that can be sleeping troubles away. There are so many who feel as you do. Especially due to this mass hysteria isolating everyone from each other even further. The consequences of this are far reaching, unfortunately. Hopefully you will feel better.

 

[Giraffes]

Happy Birthday to you, if you are a social being and need external validation to feel ok it’s hard, I’m in your camp and currently exploring hypersensitivity as I soo am, I live alone and friendships are tricky so I am others here can be your on love be friends, yo are not alone be, nearly endedy post with a X and then realised how wrong that is

 

[Giraffes]

Apologies typo alert line not love how telling!!

 

[tree]

TLDR

"Regardless of whether birthday depression arises from the specific date of your birthday, or is an ongoing experience associated with chronic depression, it is significant and can increase feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and other negative emotions, possibly evolving into a depressive episode. This is why it's important to take birthday depression seriously and approach it with kindness and understanding."
Birthday Depression Is Real: Here’s Why You Don’t Have To Feel Ashamed | Betterhelp

Spoiler

"Anyone can experience birthday depression. Some of the people who more commonly experience birthday depression include:

People with Depression or Those with a Family History of Depression
People with Anxiety
Introverts
People with Mental or Physical Illness"

"...a few of the reasons why some people may feel down around their birthday...
Denial about Your Age
Societal Expectations and Pressure
A Feeling of Failure
Expectations to Have an "Epic" Birthday
Dysfunctional Family Dynamics
Not Having Many Friends
Existential Crisis
Not Feeling Loved and Important
Nostalgia
Birthday Milestones

Article goes into some detail on each of the bolded points
and suggests ways to deal with the negative feelings.
Birthday Depression Is Real: Here’s Why You Don’t Have To Feel Ashamed | Betterhelp

 

[Au Naturel]

NTs often interpret ND behavior as "Leave me alone."

I have often found that if I want other people to wish me a happy birthday, I have to wish them the same thing. And every other holiday that comes along. Otherwise they forget I exist. They need repeated contact or they assume you aren't interested. You may need to fake a smile even if you are depressed. If they still ignore you after you've called them up and sent FB messages over the months - or years - you are better off without them in your life. Time to move on.

 

[Giraffes]

Birthday Depression Is Real: Here’s Why You Don’t Have To Feel Ashamed | Betterhelp

Hey tree thanks for this link i found it a big help you resourceful person you

 

[Bro'Freak]

Birthday wishes to you SW, I tend not to dwell on such tbh. I'm sure you'll have texts from people you know in RL & I think we can all agree that no ones counting this year owing to COVID (I'm not saying it doesn't matter). Shame we can't do that with our age this year

 

[SimplyWandering]

Thanks for all the well wishes. Thanks Tree, was interesting read and definitely can relate. I don't have too many friends and i cycle through. I am a complainer and people clearly dont like that, who would... yet here i am.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Every year I have a birthday, and constantly have to wonder if anyone will send praise (Happy birthday) or If i will receive nothing at all. I know Ill get a call from my mom atleast.

Im fine with receiving no praise, but it's uncomfortable being alone or acknowledged by others when they haven't talked to me in forever... last year i just slept it off. Thought i would have reconnected with people this year, but with the pandemic, it has been even less.


People tell me it gets easier being alone as you get older ... they lied.

This year has been brought to you in part by the Letter "D" for DepressameStreet.

When is your birthday?
Mines next week and I don't celebrate it.
Sorry that you slept off your birthday last year, that is very sad.
If you tell me when it is, I will send you a happy birthday greeting.

 

[SimplyWandering]

When is your birthday?
Mines next week and I don't celebrate it.
Sorry that you slept off your birthday last year, that is very sad.
If you tell me when it is, I will send you a happy birthday greeting.

October 16th, i guess not that close but i was preparing myself. How do you "not celebrate" it? I guess by not celebrating you are technically celebrating lol, am i making any sense?

 

[Gift2humanity]

October 16th, i guess not that close but i was preparing myself. How do you "not celebrate" it? I guess by not celebrating you are technically celebrating lol, am i making any sense?

I don't acknowledge it, treat it like Christmas, just another day.
I will put a reminder on my app and so long as my phone keeps working hopefully I will get a reminder and send you a greeting.

 

[Bolletje]

I used to get depressed for my birthday because I would compare myself to other people my age and I would feel lacking. One year I changed my birthday on social media to see how many of my friends actually remembered my birthday, as a test. One year I blew up because my sister just texted “yay” and that was that.

I let go of all that. I have unique challenges so it’s unfair to compare myself to others my age. And it’s the thought that counts when people congratulate me. And to be fair, I rely on social media for most birthdays these days too. I don’t really celebrate my birthday these days, but when the day comes I like to make a list of what I have accomplished and what I am good at, instead of dwelling.

 

[Gift2humanity]

I used to get depressed for my birthday because I would compare myself to other people my age and I would feel lacking. One year I changed my birthday on social media to see how many of my friends actually remembered my birthday, as a test. One year I blew up because my sister just texted “yay” and that was that.

I let go of all that. I have unique challenges so it’s unfair to compare myself to others my age. And it’s the thought that counts when people congratulate me. And to be fair, I rely on social media for most birthdays these days too. I don’t really celebrate my birthday these days, but when the day comes I like to make a list of what I have accomplished and what I am good at, instead of dwelling.

I changed my birthday on Facebook so no one would notice it. I have my true birthday as I am doing a fundraiser but I did tell my friends not to put a greeting on my wall.
You sound like you are getting more positive.

 

[Rectify]

People don't remember others birthdays unless Facebook or similar reminds them.

Yes. I use a diary and each year I transfer the bdays in to my new diary. For me it's important because it helps people know I am thinking of them and care about them.

 

[Rectify]

I used to get depressed for my birthday because I would compare myself to other people my age and I would feel lacking.

I've done that before too :/

I let go of all that. I have unique challenges so it’s unfair to compare myself to others my age. And it’s the thought that counts when people congratulate me.

Good. You're absolutely right and I try to do that too - though I don't always succeed. We are unique people, individuals - we all are, even NTs.

I don’t really celebrate my birthday these days, but when the day comes I like to make a list of what I have accomplished and what I am good at, instead of dwelling.

That is a lovely way to celebrate

 

[Bolletje]

I changed my birthday on Facebook so no one would notice it. I have my true birthday as I am doing a fundraiser but I did tell my friends not to put a greeting on my wall.
You sound like you are getting more positive.

Hey, I guess years of therapy paid off I make an effort to look at the positives and not compare myself to others, but it’s still hard sometimes.