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My Article on Mixed Aspie/NT Relationships

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by sisselcakes, Nov 10, 2019.

  1. sisselcakes

    sisselcakes Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I wanted to share an article I wrote on my mental health blog about my experience having a relationship with someone on the autistic spectrum. I couldn't have gotten to where I am without everyone's support on this forum.

    Dating Someone with Asperger's | The Mental Health Blog
     
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  2. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's great Sissel, I'm so glad you wrote it ≧◉◡◉≦

    Having experienced similar difficulties in my aspie to aspie marriage, it's edifying to read and understand the difficulties that we have both worked at and through.
     
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  3. sisselcakes

    sisselcakes Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thank you, Mia! Usually it takes me a while to get an article on “paper” but this one just flowed effortlessly. Could have said so much more. It has been a journey!
     
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  4. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    Good article, many thanks for posting this.
     
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  5. sisselcakes

    sisselcakes Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thanks so much for your encouragement. I hope it helps at least one person who has struggled with these issues.
     
  6. Spoopy

    Spoopy Member

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    Hey! I'm still reading it (very interesting so far!). I just wanted to ask about the interaction with your brother-in-law, did you or your partner explain to your brother-in-law afterwards what your partner's intentions were with the questions about the website? If so, just wondering how your brother-in-law reacted to your explanations? Did it help to smooth things over? I've had a few issues on this front too so just genuinely curious :)
     
  7. Spoopy

    Spoopy Member

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    I've also now just finished reading it and a couple of things I think you've hit the nail on the head with.

    1. Taking an interest in his interests AND having common interests

    2. Taking more care for yourself and worrying less about his mood and state of mind

    3. ASK about how he's feeling or what he's thinking about

    Good article :) thanks for sharing
     
  8. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member

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    I will share with my (NT) wife
     
  9. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    Good article @sisselcakes

    I will definitely be sharing it with my NT husband :)
     
  10. sisselcakes

    sisselcakes Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Well, if my brother-in-law was a normal person, it may have made a difference, but he's not; and I'm not just saying that because he's now my ex-brother-in-law! I will say, though, that I was disappointed in my family. They were not as understanding as I would have liked.

    Having said that, now that my bf and I have reconciled (after lots of back and forth), they are more accepting of things overall. I'll admit that i wasn't as understanding as I could have been, and I think that was contagious. I tended to complain a lot to them, so it's understandable.
     
  11. sisselcakes

    sisselcakes Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thanks for the positive feedback :)

    As I write, my bf is trying to help me with my website! It's been a great bonding experience. It's so funny- the asking him how he feels thing. I keep forgetting not to ask open-ended questions or hypothetical ones. He has trouble with that.

    We have recently had an issue with another party (his ex has been stalking him). My first inclination is to ask him things in an open-ended manner; but the good thing is I quickly realize I need to re-phrase things in "yes" or "no" questions, and that works much better.
     
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