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Music as a security blanket

Pariah Dog

Well-Known Member
First off to mod's I was not really sure which section to post this under, so if you feel it should be moved then be my guest. :)


When I was a teenager I was often sad or depressed about things. That is pretty common for a misfit kid I would thing. Especially for an aspie though who doesn't fit in the world around themselves and don't understand why (I didn't know about aspergers at the time). I often felt protected or empowered by certain music I liked. It would have like a security blanket effect. Usually it had to be music with a sad or dark attachment to it. One I would often listen to was Black Sabbath, in the original years with Ozzy Osboure. It just seemed to speak out to a misfit, it was dark, a little menacing, even a bit naive at times. Besides that I loved the instrumental bits and music structure itself. I moved onto other things and haven't really listened to Black Sabbath since I was 20 years old (I'm now 32).


Flash forward to the other day. I have been seeing a lady who I liked very much and it was seeming to go great. That was until she ended it and said she is not ready to enter a relationship. She was with a guy for 12 years and married and been separated for more than 2 years now with the divorce not finalized. I felt really awful after the departure. I had only walked a short way from her when it was over then the Black Sabbath song "Tomorrow's Dream" (which is relevant to the situation) started to play in my head and I walked away. Something I probably haven't even heard in 12 years.

The next morning in low spirits I had this instinctive urge to start listening to black sabbath. I played it on my mp3 player in my work vehicle signing along. It made me feel stronger and not so alone. Songs I have never heard in over a decade came back to me. It released what I would call a "mild orgasmic" kind of pleasure chemical in my brain to re-hear some musical structures that used to loop around in my head all day but I have since forgotten about. Only for a section of music to come back and I think "OMG I used to love this, I haven't even thought about it since then." I could honestly feel a surge of pleasure spawn at some points in music. Pretty intense.

I am curious as to if other aspies can relate to the phenomenon.
 
First off to mod's I was not really sure which section to post this under, so if you feel it should be moved then be my guest. :)


When I was a teenager I was often sad or depressed about things. That is pretty common for a misfit kid I would thing. Especially for an aspie though who doesn't fit in the world around themselves and don't understand why (I didn't know about aspergers at the time). I often felt protected or empowered by certain music I liked. It would have like a security blanket effect. Usually it had to be music with a sad or dark attachment to it. One I would often listen to was Black Sabbath, in the original years with Ozzy Osboure. It just seemed to speak out to a misfit, it was dark, a little menacing, even a bit naive at times. Besides that I loved the instrumental bits and music structure itself. I moved onto other things and haven't really listened to Black Sabbath since I was 20 years old (I'm now 32).


Flash forward to the other day. I have been seeing a lady who I liked very much and it was seeming to go great. That was until she ended it and said she is not ready to enter a relationship. She was with a guy for 12 years and married and been separated for more than 2 years now with the divorce not finalized. I felt really awful after the departure. I had only walked a short way from her when it was over then the Black Sabbath song "Tomorrow's Dream" (which is relevant to the situation) started to play in my head and I walked away. Something I probably haven't even heard in 12 years.

The next morning in low spirits I had this instinctive urge to start listening to black sabbath. I played it on my mp3 player in my work vehicle signing along. It made me feel stronger and not so alone. Songs I have never heard in over a decade came back to me. It released what I would call a "mild orgasmic" kind of pleasure chemical in my brain to re-hear some musical structures that used to loop around in my head all day but I have since forgotten about. Only for a section of music to come back and I think "OMG I used to love this, I haven't even thought about it since then." I could honestly feel a surge of pleasure spawn at some points in music. Pretty intense.

I am curious as to if other aspies can relate to the phenomenon.

Music has a very powerful effect on me. It can change a mood so well that I have to be careful. I used to listen to a lot of things, but I have to be very careful now. Songs get stuck in my head and loops of songs. The words can disturb me now. Sometimes the words make no sense and my Aspie part can now see through the inanity of so much of it.

I get absorbed in some music. Yeah, Black Sabbath War Pigs can suck me right in. Right now I listen to a lot of J S Bach because his music is so complicated and mathematically odd, but the words are so simple. And it can make me feel lightheaded like I am on something.

Music is a drug, for sure..............I just wish it could help me overcome some of the darkest feelings I have and to help me with habits I hate. It has not been able to do that yet.....
 
Oh yes, music has always been very strong for me. I looooove music and notice anytime I go long stretches without much music it has a negative effect on me. Music is my biggest stim and I really need it lol. But yes it can have very strong reactions for me also. Although I often don't notice the words unless I am focusing on it. I usually have the music on while I am doing something or just thinking or in my current 'world' in my head.

I am awful with names of music, mostly because I listen to nearly anything. I have tons of playlists, including instrumental which is the main one I use to head off or come out of a meltdown, intense/sad music when I am upset or super upbeat if I am up and about trying to get things done for example. I am not as good of describing the feelings but you summed it up pretty well. I will say the feelings will be slightly different depending on the kind of music. For example the upbeat type music would have more of a reaction for me like you said but instrumental music is absolutely beautiful to me and has an equally strong reaction of absolute breathtakingly amazing.

The other thing I have though is a handful of songs for whatever reason have the opposite effect. I don't mean how a sad song can elicit sadness. There are some popular songs for example that many people enjoy that feel like they get inside me and creates this awful negative reaction. Best explanation would be comparing it to those with sensory issues with texture, imagine feeling an unpleasant texture or wearing shirt made of unpleasant fabric. I wonder if anyone else has issues with this assuming I explained it well enough?
 
I can, actually. Same music too, I had inexplicably acquired a copy of Black Sabbath's "I Sold My Soul for Rock n' Roll" CD and played it over and over again while I sat and played Elder Scrolls: Morrowind all day long. I was early-teens, angry, hurt and alone, but with those songs and that game I could escape for a while.

Something about that music told young me that it was okay to feel the way I felt, that was the big thing. I feel this is in contrast to if I had listened to a song like "Pumped Up Kicks"; that would've just fed my anger and told me to take matters into my own hands. Black Sabbath is such good brooding music, and the world today needs more black clothes and brooding, not radicals and shooting.

To this day, if I hear a song from that CD, it takes me back to my old chair in my old room with that big-ass original Xbox controller. Euphoric Recall, I've heard the term dubbed - like a flashback, but a good one - and I don't have many of those. I'm going to be so sad the day Ozzy dies.
 
I can, actually. Same music too, I had inexplicably acquired a copy of Black Sabbath's "I Sold My Soul for Rock n' Roll" CD and played it over and over again while I sat and played Elder Scrolls: Morrowind all day long. I was early-teens, angry, hurt and alone, but with those songs and that game I could escape for a while.

Something about that music told young me that it was okay to feel the way I felt, that was the big thing. I feel this is in contrast to if I had listened to a song like "Pumped Up Kicks"; that would've just fed my anger and told me to take matters into my own hands. Black Sabbath is such good brooding music, and the world today needs more black clothes and brooding, not radicals and shooting.

To this day, if I hear a song from that CD, it takes me back to my old chair in my old room with that big-ass original Xbox controller. Euphoric Recall, I've heard the term dubbed - like a flashback, but a good one - and I don't have many of those. I'm going to be so sad the day Ozzy dies.


Amen to that. The music takes me back to my days as a clueless angsty teen in my worthless old Ford Tempo with a cd stereo I installed. I feel not quite the same about Ozzy. I thought he was awesome when I was a kid. Now I can't help but see him as a burn out well past his prime and should have gave up performing some time ago. I don't know if he still performs. I saw him live in Toronto in 2003. It was a great time. When he dies? Well a guy who's abused his body like that should have died long ago so I figure with that much borrowed time it is not that sad of an event.
 
Music constantly.
It is my security blanket and what type I listen to depends on what I am doing.
Mostly two types. Relaxing instrumentals that are like works of art from heaven. I can sleep away to that type.

But, especially when driving I still keep the classical rock going. It helps me concentrate because I listen to the words which help me not get lost in the endless thoughts of my mind and it is bold enough to keep me lively as I navigate through the traffic.

I liked a lot of moody, dark music when I was a teen.
When things got too much to handle, I remember turning those kind of songs on and rocking away in my big soft chair.
Certain songs though can bring back memories and I start to cry. Sometimes I guess I need to get the emotion out though.
Music is always there if only in my mind.

I love this song while driving:
 
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I do use music to lose myself.
It can be one of my 'Go-To s' when I don't have the head space to speak.
I don't really care much about the lyrics. It's always the tune. Rising, falling, changing tempo and the identifiable instruments.

It can be one of the times I feel my soul soar and recognise freedom.
 
Security Blanket from our love for music... Wow, it sounds a little weird, but I couldn't possibly think of anything that could describe it any better... By now most anyone knows I just get lost in music and will ramble on forever about it... Its like a treasure chest that has no bottom.
 
Music has a very powerful effect on me. It can change a mood so well that I have to be careful. I used to listen to a lot of things, but I have to be very careful now. Songs get stuck in my head and loops of songs. The words can disturb me now. Sometimes the words make no sense and my Aspie part can now see through the inanity of so much of it..

Me too... I am much more careful with what I allow in. I like all types of music, but if its really dark, or negative, out it goes. The whole point is to use it to lift us up, or maybe show us we are not alone, not crush us. Yet, sometimes, some songs can crush us and make us realize, we can get back up... Its super hard for me to explain... so I just will not try too. : )
 
Absolutely. The only true universal language. Check out my namesake if you need transporting to another dimension.
 

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