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motivation to work jobs you don't like?

Discussion in 'Education and Employment' started by SchrodingersMeerkat, Feb 1, 2021.

  1. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    How to find motivation to work at a job you don't like?

    This has honestly always confused me. My older brother says if you do enjoy it then it is not a job. But yet seems to enjoy his job as an auto mechanic. Even as kids he was a grease monkey. he said if I could get paid play with meerkats for hours I probably wouldn't like it anymore. Duddde! Do you not know your own sister? Anyway I would sense there was a catch and some would sooner or later try to take advantage of me like my stupid horse riding instructor did when I was cleaning her stables. One day she wanted me to clean her house. Sorry lady the deal was stables. If you wanted me to clean your house, you should have addressed that earlier... and also hired a maid.

    Anyway, my autistic ex-boyfriend now works at a grocery store and never says he likes it. When I asked him why he still stays there he says because of the money (which he obviously doesn't know how to spend). I honestly could never work at a job I was unhappy with no matter what they paid me. Maybe this is a direct result of the ABA type parenting my mother did when I was younger. Basically give me a new toy whenever I behaved or did my chores instead of having me save money to buy it myself. She says the ABA type token exchange did nothing but turn me into a trained seal that would only perform what you wanted from it in exchange for the treat at the end. As soon as I had to start working longer for a treat or the treats got smaller, I stopped working for them. I never understood how I was supposed to hang on to the plastic chips and just save them. I worked so hard on my homework the first day of the third grade hoping to get the stuffed cat... Only to get one plastic chip. I threw it back at my mom and threw all the rest of the plastic chips on the floor and had a meltdown after she told me I could have the cat when I got 30 chips. (Said cat probably only costed a buck from the dollar store) My mother ended up just letting me have the cat and gave up with the token exchange system. I didn't understand the concept of grades either. Okay, I got an A... Now what? Do I trade this A in for something tangible? No? Then what is the point of it?

    School did not work for many reasons. I did not understand the grade system until high School when I was being homeschooled by my mother who wasn't an evil sociopath like all my teachers in public school. If I had a teacher who liked me and gave me a chance, I wanted to work hard and please them. But if they're going to be nasty to me from the start, I won't.

    As for a job, I'm pretty sure I could not work at a place I hated. I need to quit or get fired my first day. Grocery stores or fast food I could never work at. Exotic Pet store, dairy farm or horse boarding facility might work though... If contact with the animals was part of the job... And it did not involve things I believe are cruel.
     
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  2. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Generally this was always my view of jobs as well. How in the world does one retain their sanity in most jobs?

    I dont work anymore, but back when I did, most of those jobs I did have were utterly awful. Braindead, useless things, getting paid very little so that some wealthy fatcat at the top could get paid a whole lot. Ridiculous. Yet I was apparently supposed to be "proud" of it or some gibberish like that. Also ridiculous. The only reason I did any of it... or attempted to... was because I was rather forced at the time. Not exactly given a choice.
     
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  3. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    For some of us, jobs don't make a lot of sense. Some of us aren't motivated by money, we would rather do what we like doing. And l preferred a small cubicle with little interaction about 98% of the time. But 100% being on the phone is fine with me. Dealing with rat race employees in certain jobs is tiring. Now l am thankful to be hired at my super advanced age. But coffee and a small cat and retirement sounds blissful.
     
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  4. WildCat

    WildCat V.I.P Member

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    Most are doing it, among a few reasons, to put food on the table, support those around them in a financial sense and avoid going homeless. Tolerating and cooperating with people you'd rather not be around along with doing things you don't like, whether in a job environment or otherwise, is an unavoidable part of life if you wish to achieve your goals.
     
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  5. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member

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    I am 53, working both as a full-time bedside clinician in a busy hospital, and also part-time as an instructor at a local university. In my experience, folks who are most satisfied with their job/career are those that have turned a "special interest" into their job/career,...or have, by their own intellectual curiosity, have done intellectual "deep dives", a tremendous amount of self-study, or taking extra classes to become true experts and resource people within their field.

    I work in medicine. I interact with a handful of autistics,...and most of them,...brilliant examples of experts within narrow fields (neonatal and pediatric ophthalmology, cardiac electrophysiology, neonatology, etc.). Seems to me that you enjoy working with animals,...that is a pretty broad category,...narrow it down,...and then perhaps narrow it down again. The suggestion being that using your autistic brain as an asset could lead to some rewards in the future. Professionally, I am seeing the trend towards autistics being more experts in narrow fields, perhaps behind the scenes doing research,...the hard science. Many of us are not "people persons", but give us something interesting to study, learn about, and share with "like-minded" individuals,...that's where I am at. Stereotypically, many of us have the ability to really focus and know how to use our internet database research skills to quickly and efficiently find information. I am pretty certain that there are specific experts in meerkats,...a pretty narrow field,...but it could be anything else you are interested in, as well.

    It has been my observation, especially with many people, say, under 30, that they get themselves so worked up about "trying to be normal", "fitting in", etc. that they look at their autistic traits as some sort of hinderance, rather than saying to oneself, "How can I use this?" I went through over 50 years of my life knowing I was different, always out on the periphery, blaming myself, seeing myself as some sort of failure for not being able to fit in,...but also recognizing that I could do things that others simply couldn't,...and it was easy for me. One can easily get wrapped up and focused on the negatives,...good Lord,...the sensory experience, the inability to say the right things, the inability to have a fun, pleasant, group conversation,...on an on. However, I am freakishly good at the technical aspects of my job,...but I am not going to get any of the credit,...I am not going to be famous,...because that requires the types of interpersonal skills that I simply don't have. At some point, one has to be introspective enough to simply understand how one's brain works,...and that may take some self-study (I am still learning),...but part of that is also using those mental tools one has and recognizing, in many cases, that one's autistic brain might actually be better for the job than someone else's neurotypical brain.

    You ask for motivation to do jobs you don't like,...good luck with that. There are things I do every day that I can say I don't like,...most of them mundane, low-intellect, boring, sometimes degrading. However, that should not be your life nor your career. Too many people around us are quick to let us know about things we cannot do,...and I say,..."adapt and overcome". I am not going to do it "your way" despite your protests,...I will do it "my way". Get yourself on the "life train", start "adulting", find your "focal point", and don't let others stand in your way,...if they do,...go around them.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2021
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  6. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    I don't disagree. Having worked only one job. It didn't last long. Namely because they wouldn't pay enough for gas back and forth. Then they hired out the work I did to nine other people. It just wasn't worth it.
     
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  7. Stardust Parade

    Stardust Parade Well-Known Member

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    Nobody else is going to pay my bills for me. You do what you have to do to survive.
     
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  8. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Ultimately I have to pay the bills, keep a roof over my head, feed myself, the basic necessities of life to avoid becoming homeless, I am single living on my own

    My previous job of 10 years was very mindless, stand by a moving belt for 8 to 10 hours a day to sort recycling material

    I never enjoyed it, but I endured it, maybe should have taken steps to get out of the job but even four years ago the economy and job market was fairly uncertain, but... I balanced that job out with something I enjoyed, I spent much of my free time outside of work pursuing my photography hobby, that is what kept me going mentally

    I've known co-workers who just watch TV all weekend, perhaps they enjoy that but to me it's mindless... I enjoy the local performing arts scene, small cafe shows and open mic nights, just walking around with my camera on weekends, classic car shows, etc... Things to keep me busy

    I don't know if it has been mentioned, but even if I could claim gov't disability for Asperger's, I wouldn't want to, gov't disability will almost never pay much money compared to working, I mean in terms of paying for the expenses of life.
     
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  9. _eri_bellehumeur

    _eri_bellehumeur Active Member

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    This has always been such a huge struggle for me. I am extremely protective of my time, to a point that I have terminated relationships with people who were consistently late. I will have to find employment this summer between classes, and it is seriously killing me. I know that other people have to do this all of the time, but in my mind, sacrificing such a huge part of your day for a (barely) living wage is soul crushing. I just don't get it, and when I say as much the majority of people respond by saying it's not a big deal, or I'm being "immature" (because apparently desiring joy and autonomy is childish?).

    They may just be pretending it's fine so they don't completely die inside, because yes, for a lot of people (myself included once my schooling is done in a few months) the option is get a sad, horrible job that makes you despise existence, or live on the streets and be exposed to all sorts of dangers.

    Keeping a job has always been difficult for me as the process was stressful and none of the skills that are helpful in finding good employment (like drafting a resume, maintaining a good relationship with employers for reference, interview skills) are ones that I don't naturally have, so I've always been kind of stuck with poor employment options that are dangerous, or not well suited for my deafness and neurodivergence.

    Eh, it sucks, but if your alternative is homelessness, you gotta do what you gotta do.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2021
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  10. SchrodingersMeerkat

    SchrodingersMeerkat trash mammal

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    I think I'd perfer homelessness to some jobs.
     
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  11. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

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    Speaking for myself, I too can be impatient. As such, I'm not a fan of work that involves long projects. I prefer short tasks that I can complete relatively quickly as I really appreciate the satisfaction of completing something. I've also had way too many issues with teammates coming up empty and so I'm forced to scramble to make it up, and I am often too conflict adverse to say or do anything about it. Individual work therefore works better for me most of the time, though I have to say that when a big group project comes out great, I am absolutely elated.
     
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  12. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    I enjoyed the job I was made redundant from at the height of the (UK) first wave last year.

    I've since picked up two other jobs. (Bills to pay, mouths to feed, an inherent need to contribute)
    One I enjoy, the other, not so much.

    They'll do for now. (income, routine and purpose)

    Doesn't necessarily follow I'll still be working the same two jobs til retirement.
    They fit my current circumstances.
    I'm not overjoyed by the work. It's an easy job and a means to an end. (for now)
     
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  13. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    My position is about 5-10 mins away. My boss is fantastic. But if she retires, l may quit. Because to many controlling personalities to deal with all trying to get the money shifts. So this feels probmatic. But the hospitality business is wrought with abusive personalities. And a few real nice people just to even out the odds. My job gave me boatloads of confidence because l can do lots of stuff and juggle the quagmire of priorities instantly which is needed. But l had to work on processing emotions and standing up to people. Ouch. l am now a graduate of state your boundaries , and just say "no" school.
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2021
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  14. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Running out of money to pay for a roof over my head, or starving without any food. Classic motivators to keep a job you don't like. In my own case, the fear of having to look and interview for a job may be even worse. So I hung onto a toxic career much too long before arriving at a breaking point when I finally quit. :oops:
     
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  15. Spitzmaus

    Spitzmaus New Member

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    Personally I’m staying motivated towards my short and long-term goals. I work 25-35 hours a week, the rest of the time using whatever skills to find other sources of income so I can sustain a lifestyle of travel.

    It’s difficult though. My job is very physically demanding but not mentally taxing, which kinda sucks sometimes because how my mind works. Sometimes I just dissociate at work, and often the sensory overload is too much. I just grit my teeth and attempt to do my best while taking pride in what I do, so that way I can be my best self.
     
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  16. Magna

    Magna Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I work at a job I don't like to provide for my family. If I was single even though I'm just over 50 I would retire in a second and just live frugally for the rest of my happy days.

    I have thankfully been able to tailor my current job to be able to work from home permanently (the only positive thing that Covid will have ever done for me). Prior to that I negotiated a four day/32 hour work week which has made a tremendously positive difference in my life. I've been working 4 day/32 hour work weeks for two years now and the idea of people living most of their lives working 5 days per week saddens me. We only get one life on this earth and only having two days per week off and a few holidays/vacations seems like such a waste.

    I am trying to turn a hobby I enjoy (gardening) into an income producing market garden. My dream would be to have that provide enough income to be able to "quit my day job".

    I do agree that if you love what you do it's not "work" per se. I could "work" 12 hours straight gardening during the growing season which is physically taxing and is definitely "work", but I find it enjoyable and don't think of it as "work" at all, whereas someone else would probably think it torturous.
     
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  17. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Yes. So true the previous comments. l would rather stay in a bad job then interview for another bad job. lol. l will settle for a great boss, so so work.
     
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  18. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    I too could work in my garden from sun up til last light and wouldn't see it as a chore.

    Put me working in a supermarket for the same length of time and I'd run into difficulties.
    Has much to do with the environment, sensory overload and anxiety.
     
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  19. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    l took a crappy job and paid the price. It definetly taught me to have more confidence but it also gave people a chance to make wrong assumptions about me.
     
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  20. zozie

    zozie Well-Known Member

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    My father turned his gardening hobby into a business 10 years ago. He sells heirloom tomatoes at the farmer's market and sells starts to budding gardeners. It took a while for him to find his niche (heirlooms) but he's certified master gardener and I keep bugging him to consult for new gardeners, but he's happy doing it his way so I won't stop him. I was his assistant for 4 years and helped convince him to become a business.

    The general thread touches a nerve for me. I realized this week that I can to single parenting and school, single parenting and the right job (yet to find it), or the right job and school. Can't do all three, though. Single-parenting, school, and the right job? Not gonna happen. Preparing to quit my job at a warehouse and live off welfare and my tax return. If it was just me, I'd live in a van. But it's not, so.

    I'd rather live very frugally than work at a job that sucks my soul, though. Use my problem-solving skills to figure out ways to live on less.