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Mom got me to postpone move, sadly

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by oregano, Jan 17, 2021.

  1. oregano

    oregano is plotting his escape

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    I broke the news of my move to mom today, and she screamed at me for 20 minutes straight. I finally agreed to address some of her concerns about not being ready to move in February, and I agreed to postpone the move until at least spring.

    1) I agreed to unpack and set up my solar and wind off grid setup here and calculate how much power it will produce and how well I will be able to live off solar and wind.

    2) I will call Fairchild Hospital in Yreka on Tuesday and talk to their administration and see what kind of treatment options I will have for my diabetes and cholesterol.

    3) I will also see what kind of dental services are available in Siskiyou County.

    4) I will go ahead and buy the water jugs I will need and see what it is like to live without well water.

    5) I will go ahead and set up my compost toilet where I live now and see how well it will work.

    6) I will buy the metal garbage cans I will use up north and see what it is like to have to haul my own garbage to the dump myself.

    In the end, I agreed with her that there are too many unknowns about what my life will be like off grid in Jefferson and that I should try to live as close to what my life will be like there and make any adjustments that I need to make while I still have room for error.

    In addition, since my aunt's trailer is hooked up to my electrical box and the local power company has been whining about my "excessive" electricity use, the amount of power my meter draws will go down. Also, my aunt and uncle have a bad junk food habit and tend to fill up the city issued can with their junk, so me not using that can will save space in it.

    Also, I have that dental surgery in a week that I mentioned on my profile post, and my mom says mid-Feb is too soon after that.

    My mom says that both my dentist and GP doc are really concerned. Then she got into the money issue, with her claiming that she is spending that extra money for my health upkeep. All of this was interspersed with a lot of YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US!!!!!!!!

    I'm not giving up per se, but she noted that if I really want to live off grid up there I should do it here as much as possible and see what problems I have and how to solve them. And I have to admit, that does sound reasonable. Then when April or May rolls around I should have a better idea of what it will take to survive up there.

    I still don't know what to say about the car issue, or about the fact that she thinks I'm too old and sick to survive "in the middle of nowhere", which it looks that way from the pix but it really isn't as bad as she thinks it is.
     
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  2. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    "...if I really want to live off grid up there I should do it here as much as possible
    and see what problems I have and how to solve them.
    "

    Yes, that sounds eminently reasonable.

    What does "haul my own garbage" mean?
    Surely you could compost biodegradable materials.
    Recycle/re-purpose other things.
    Seems like there would be minimal waste.
     
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  3. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Not sure what to say. l am upset she yelled at you. But if you wanted to move, you would be gone already. The longer you stay back, there is a chance she will ask authorities to step in and stop you from moving.
     
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  4. oregano

    oregano is plotting his escape

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    @tree: I am referring to taking my own garbage to the county dump by myself instead of having the municipal trash hauling service collect it curbside and take it for me. This means I will have to put the cans in my car and drive to the dump myself. Siskiyou County only has curbside trash pickup in the towns; everybody else hauls it to the county dump themselves. And yes, there is the compost thing that I wouldn't be able to really replicate here.

    @Aspychata: The problem is that I am trying to save money for this from my SSDI check, and with inflation the way it is that is difficult. I keep having to buy equipment that I find out I will need, and that costs quite a bit of money. I have to pay Medicare Part B from my check, which further reduces the amount I get.

    It's not a matter of "wanting" to leave and then just going. I can't live in a tent because it gets very cold in winter and can get hot in summer. (It's also illegal there, and although the law is aimed at pot growers there's always the possibility that the county DA could decide to make an example of a newbie resident.)

    I don't think she can have me locked in the nut house for wanting to move, not in California where limited amounts of money are available for mental health which means that if somebody isn't waving a knife or gun around and threatening to kill people they get ignored.

    Also, I do like the idea of seeing how my life would work without having to "build the plane as you are flying it" as the expression goes.
     
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  5. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You should look into getting a rainwater tank for the off grid dream.
     
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  6. oregano

    oregano is plotting his escape

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    Yes, that is part of the plan. That's another thing I can't replicate here, since it rains a LOT more there than it does here.
     
  7. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    It would seem that for all your aspirations to live an independent life whether on or off the grid may well hinge on what Social Security thinks. Best to consider their continuing eligibility requirements, whether the circumstances indicate that your mother's benefit should cease, and any possibility that your could either be diminished or cease altogether as well. Decisions which could make or break your desire to live independently based on continuing government benefits.

    That you might consider voluntarily having Social Security reevaluate you to determine your true ability to lead an independent life. Which would be the most legitimate way to proclaim your own destiny rather than always live under the umbrella of your aging mother. To do so in a methodical and transparent manner so as not to compromise you or your mother in withholding information regarding being SSI beneficiaries.

    And to accept the possibility that SSI might consider your physical condition not up to living a life "off the grid". In essence, I suspect these are decisions ultimately in the hands of the government, and not your mother. After all, as adult children we all know our parents will not be around forever.

    Bottom line: Make sure none of this is likely to allow SSI to throw you some real curveballs.

    Your Continuing Eligibility | Disability Benefits | SSA
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2021
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  8. oregano

    oregano is plotting his escape

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    @Judge: I have already determined that my mom will lose around $550/mo from my late father's pension. She will also lose the ability to have me on my late father's government health insurance plan. I will not see any changes in the actual SSDI benefit I receive. I will then have Medicare as primary insurance and Medicaid (govt insurance for the poor, called Medi-Cal in California) as secondary. One thing I will have to look into is "Covered California", the state arm of the Affordable Care Act aka Obamacare. It is possible that I could get some sort of secondary coverage for dental and prescriptions and medical visits through "CoveredCA" as it's known. This is all stuff I hadn't really considered until today. I really need to get busy here.
     
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  9. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    @oregano

    Isn't there a salvage yard you could take your cans to?

    I do.

    Aluminum and the others, the so called "tin" cans.
    The ones that rust.
     
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  10. oregano

    oregano is plotting his escape

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    @tree: I'm talking the big galvanized trash receptacles that are sometimes called "cans", NOT stuff like soda pop cans.

    My mom, uncle, and me were talking, and my uncle says "you do know that your cabin idea is totally illegal, once they find you they will not only throw you out and confiscate your land, you might be facing criminal charges too, especially if the local DA wants news coverage and brownie points for going after a 'carpetbagger' newbie?" OK, so I had to admit that. At best it's skirting the law. So I decided to look for an old "park model RV" to put there instead and renovate it. A park model RV is part travel trailer, part mobile home, but not really classified fully under either. They don't come up for sale very often, so I have to keep saving and keep my eyes open for one.
     
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  11. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    @oregano
    I understand what a trash can/receptacle is.

    What I am asking about is the contents.
    What are you putting in the trash can that isn't either
    biodegradable,re-usable, burnable, or recyclable?

    I am not getting why there is a big need to go to the dump.
     
  12. oregano

    oregano is plotting his escape

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    @tree: well, I will be using SOME things that will not be able to be recycled in some way. What with China suddenly refusing to take our recyclables most recycling centers will no longer take anything beyond non-tainted (with food grease and the like) cardboard and water/milk jugs. There are some food items that I will have to buy at Walmart for a while, and most of those containers are now not recyclable. Trash burning is 100% illegal in Siskiyou County due to extreme wildfire risk from decades of forest mismanagement. In fact the Klamathon Fire in 2018 was caused by some jerk from San Francisco burning trash, and the embers got caught in the wind and half of Hornbrook as well as an unknown number of cows were incinerated. (Cows and tourism basically is the local economy, so people having hundreds of head of cows killed by fire is devastating.) Composted "humanure" cannot be spread on the ground (as per local law), and it's really not a good idea to grow food in it.
     
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  13. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    You are very knowledgeable on this. You show that you are organized in thought and l am excited to find out when you move. But stay under the radar and ask admin here to delete your posts regarding your location. The less said, the less someone can come after you. A lot of police are ethical, but in some more remote areas, cops are tempted to work with whoever to pad their measly pay and low benefits. If you move to such an area, it's a risk you take.
     
  14. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝️

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    Not as long as he is not under a guardianship. He is free to move whenever he is able to do so.

    The "training wheels" approach sounds like wisdom, though.
     
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  15. Mary Terry

    Mary Terry Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    The revised plan sounds good. See if you can get a rainwater collection barrel to capture rainwater from your roof.

    You can start a compost pile now with uncooked kitchen vegetable scraps, eggshells, coffee grounds, etc and add grass clippings and raked leaves to it. You just need to pick a place, maybe a corner of your yard, and start dumping compostable things there. After about a year, it will decompose into nice soil which you can then move to a garden spot to enrich the natural soil. You also could ask your mom and aunt/uncle to save their compostable kitchen scraps to add to your compost pile, too.

    Keep working on it!
     
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  16. SDRSpark

    SDRSpark Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think the concern is that his mother might try to get guardianship.

    Remember his mother has a financial interest in making sure he doesn't leave.

    I do however think that going from the creature comforts of home to off the grid in the wilderness isn't the best idea. It can work, but it's going to be a shock for sure. There will almost certainly be unforeseen perils.
     
  17. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝️

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    Only ASD3s get guardianships. (Some ASD2.x's might get rounded down.) If he was that close to having a guardianship, Social Security wouldn't be paying him directly. He would have a representative payee, already.

    The court doesn't strip people of their autonomy willy-nilly.
     
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  18. Au Naturel

    Au Naturel Au Naturel

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    Where did you plan on moving to? Call the county planning commission to see how the land is zoned and what is allowed. Unless you own/rent the land you'll be moving onto, the law won't allow you to stay. And you need a source of water, a heater, and some kind of toilet facilities.

    If you do own the land, the only way your property can be taken away is if you don't pay property taxes or if you engage in illegal money-making activities. Like growing pot for sale or beyond what the law allows for personal use. We have 5 acres in the southern Sierra with a 16 ft. travel trailer. If we were to add a well and a septic tank, some solar and/or a wind turbine, it would be very cramped but we could live there full time. The only other issue is a car to get to town for groceries. It would be a minimalistic lifestyle. Off-grid living is not easy.

    Probably a better choice is a tiny house. Built like a small house but constructed on a trailer chassis to avoid building code issues.

    Tiny-house movement - Wikipedia
     
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  19. oregano

    oregano is plotting his escape

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    In fact, I am driving to Modesto today to look into buying a "toy hauler", a specialized RV meant to haul off road vehicles. Since it is largely empty inside, I could easily make it into a tiny house. And since it's registered as a utility trailer, California law allows it to be registered with permanent license plates. That means no yearly registration fee and requirement for insurance, unlike a house trailer. And nobody cares if you put a utility trailer on land.

    And yes, I do own the land free and clear, and taxes are paid promptly. There is a thread in the pictures and videos vault forum called "photos of my land" or something similar that I posted a couple years ago with photos of the land.
     
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