I've worked in office jobs since leaving college. There has been consistent aspects to these jobs - firstly, I'm good with computer programmes and I find that once I've learned a system or process I can work very swiftly and process a lot of work in a short space of time. On the flip side I make quite a lot of minor errors.
Slow down and double check - this is the advice I've been told multiple times in ever single job when supervisors and managers notice a pattern in my ability to work quickly but making such mistakes. I find even with double checking these errors can slip through the net.
In terms of success rate I'd say I'm making a mistake in about 1 in 30 jobs/tasks I do. However, the advice of slowing down or double checking can only be implemented in short bursts. I find double checking or slowing down is cumbersome and eventually I start to speed up again and work at my natural pace.
The main issue I feel is the lack of passion for my career path. This isn't what I want to do, and as the years have gone by the stress and depression has increased. The desire to follow my dream of making a career from my art continues to increase as well. I'm still not at a point where I can give up full time work to become a full time artist - especially when I have a mortgage and bills to pay.
I feel stuck in a limbo - working jobs I dislike, around people I wouldn't normally want to associate with. The work and processes are dull and uninspired. I guess I work fast to get through things quicker and hope the day goes by faster. Whilst I show a pride in my work and a friendliness and keen desire to help people around me - I don't think I can maintain this facade for much longer. I hide my tics and real personality in the work place, which is exhausting in of itself. Then I try hard to work well and efficiently, whilst also on edge about the possibility of making mistakes, and the fallout that occurs afterwards.
The supervisor I work with is more understanding than most, but it's 7 months in and I've been pulled up on these errors over 5 times already. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I need to continue working, and I feel embarrassed and emotional when I mess up. I don't have melt downs or severe anxiety, but the fear of messing up is always there.
I care about the work I do, but at the same time I resent being in the position I'm in with regards to my career. This job forces adaptability - we have a lot of admin and processing to do, such as purchase orders, invoices, reports and such like. Then we have reactive work such as phone calls, emails and breakdowns. The problem with the reactive work is that it can occur at any time. So if I'm in the middle of paperwork or admin work, I have to drop everything I'm doing.
A change of schedule/pattern as I'm sure a lot of you are only too aware of can be very tricky. Now imagine this happening 30+ times a day and then being chastised when you make mistakes. I had been doing overtime to keep caught up, mainly because the workload is rather relentless. There were certain tasks I wanted to do at the beginning of the day. I'd give myself an hour or two before work started to get through processes and start my day on my own terms - without the phone ringing or other people at work chatting away and unwittingly causing all sorts of mental frustrations for me as I heard and saw them about the office.
I've been told they can't sign off on the amount of overtime I do. Initially I got to work early to beat rush hour. My trip is 35 minutes. But if I left on time to get to work for when I start that trip can take 3 times as long. I'm better than I used to be in traffic, but I still feel drained and frustrated by the time I reach my destination. This isn't a good way to start the day.
So I get to work 90 minutes early now, but I'm not allowed to do overtime? I don't want to work without earning, I don't want to set that precedent that I'm someone who could be taken advantage of like that. At the same time, I don't want to be sat at work twiddling my thumbs or going for long walks in the morning simply to get away from work before it's even begun.
I said I'd do no more overtime this week and next and i'm already drowning at work. A customer of mine told me in an email there can't be any more mistakes. So what happens? I run a report, process an invoice, and sure enough there's a mistake. I email my manager as I finished before he got back to the office, so I have that to look forward to on Monday.
Tiresome - that's all a job feels like for me. People in the office talk of "blue Monday", or Wednesday being a "hump day" or "happy Fridays" and you know what, I get it. Asides from the owner of the company, I can't imagine any of us are in our dream job. So we wish the day away and feel like our time off and away from work goes by too quickly. I tried to lie to myself many a time and picture myself working my way up and making a career of any of these office jobs I've worked. But I don't.
I've been told numerous times I'm wasted in these jobs. I have also been told innumerable times throughout life that I'm gifted. What use is a gift if it's sat gathering dust?
So here I am, overqualified in a stressful, poorly paid and ill-fitting job. Quietly seething at the realisation of my calling in life, and seemingly letting this calling pass me by each day. It's no wonder I've been battling depression and anxiety since school. I knew without a doubt I wanted to make a career as an artist and I was told when school was about to finish that I wasn't allowed to study art in college, let alone university.
I suppose it had never occurred to me that my parents wouldn't support what I knew I wanted. And so a long path of incompatible subjects and careers ensued, as depression began to rise. A friend of my fathers waited until he was retired before he made a career as an artist, he implored me to not wait as long as he did.
It's not for lack/want of trying - I just feel exhausted at this point. Nearly 20 years with depression, 10 with anxiety and a persistently growing discontent with being stuck in the rat race.
Ed
Slow down and double check - this is the advice I've been told multiple times in ever single job when supervisors and managers notice a pattern in my ability to work quickly but making such mistakes. I find even with double checking these errors can slip through the net.
In terms of success rate I'd say I'm making a mistake in about 1 in 30 jobs/tasks I do. However, the advice of slowing down or double checking can only be implemented in short bursts. I find double checking or slowing down is cumbersome and eventually I start to speed up again and work at my natural pace.
The main issue I feel is the lack of passion for my career path. This isn't what I want to do, and as the years have gone by the stress and depression has increased. The desire to follow my dream of making a career from my art continues to increase as well. I'm still not at a point where I can give up full time work to become a full time artist - especially when I have a mortgage and bills to pay.
I feel stuck in a limbo - working jobs I dislike, around people I wouldn't normally want to associate with. The work and processes are dull and uninspired. I guess I work fast to get through things quicker and hope the day goes by faster. Whilst I show a pride in my work and a friendliness and keen desire to help people around me - I don't think I can maintain this facade for much longer. I hide my tics and real personality in the work place, which is exhausting in of itself. Then I try hard to work well and efficiently, whilst also on edge about the possibility of making mistakes, and the fallout that occurs afterwards.
The supervisor I work with is more understanding than most, but it's 7 months in and I've been pulled up on these errors over 5 times already. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I need to continue working, and I feel embarrassed and emotional when I mess up. I don't have melt downs or severe anxiety, but the fear of messing up is always there.
I care about the work I do, but at the same time I resent being in the position I'm in with regards to my career. This job forces adaptability - we have a lot of admin and processing to do, such as purchase orders, invoices, reports and such like. Then we have reactive work such as phone calls, emails and breakdowns. The problem with the reactive work is that it can occur at any time. So if I'm in the middle of paperwork or admin work, I have to drop everything I'm doing.
A change of schedule/pattern as I'm sure a lot of you are only too aware of can be very tricky. Now imagine this happening 30+ times a day and then being chastised when you make mistakes. I had been doing overtime to keep caught up, mainly because the workload is rather relentless. There were certain tasks I wanted to do at the beginning of the day. I'd give myself an hour or two before work started to get through processes and start my day on my own terms - without the phone ringing or other people at work chatting away and unwittingly causing all sorts of mental frustrations for me as I heard and saw them about the office.
I've been told they can't sign off on the amount of overtime I do. Initially I got to work early to beat rush hour. My trip is 35 minutes. But if I left on time to get to work for when I start that trip can take 3 times as long. I'm better than I used to be in traffic, but I still feel drained and frustrated by the time I reach my destination. This isn't a good way to start the day.
So I get to work 90 minutes early now, but I'm not allowed to do overtime? I don't want to work without earning, I don't want to set that precedent that I'm someone who could be taken advantage of like that. At the same time, I don't want to be sat at work twiddling my thumbs or going for long walks in the morning simply to get away from work before it's even begun.
I said I'd do no more overtime this week and next and i'm already drowning at work. A customer of mine told me in an email there can't be any more mistakes. So what happens? I run a report, process an invoice, and sure enough there's a mistake. I email my manager as I finished before he got back to the office, so I have that to look forward to on Monday.
Tiresome - that's all a job feels like for me. People in the office talk of "blue Monday", or Wednesday being a "hump day" or "happy Fridays" and you know what, I get it. Asides from the owner of the company, I can't imagine any of us are in our dream job. So we wish the day away and feel like our time off and away from work goes by too quickly. I tried to lie to myself many a time and picture myself working my way up and making a career of any of these office jobs I've worked. But I don't.
I've been told numerous times I'm wasted in these jobs. I have also been told innumerable times throughout life that I'm gifted. What use is a gift if it's sat gathering dust?
So here I am, overqualified in a stressful, poorly paid and ill-fitting job. Quietly seething at the realisation of my calling in life, and seemingly letting this calling pass me by each day. It's no wonder I've been battling depression and anxiety since school. I knew without a doubt I wanted to make a career as an artist and I was told when school was about to finish that I wasn't allowed to study art in college, let alone university.
I suppose it had never occurred to me that my parents wouldn't support what I knew I wanted. And so a long path of incompatible subjects and careers ensued, as depression began to rise. A friend of my fathers waited until he was retired before he made a career as an artist, he implored me to not wait as long as he did.
It's not for lack/want of trying - I just feel exhausted at this point. Nearly 20 years with depression, 10 with anxiety and a persistently growing discontent with being stuck in the rat race.
Ed
