Mirrors

[Suzette]

@Ken mentioned in another post that he doesn't like looking at himself in mirrors. I relate to this very strongly. I will look at myself in a mirror but only at some detail like when I have to comb my hair, I look at my hair, not my general image.

In fact, I don't like mirrors in general and I avert my eyes if I have to pass one. I find mirrors to be uncanny and disquieting. It maybe due to the reversed image, I think there is more to it but I can't express these thoughts.

Can anyone else relate to this?

 

[Progster]

Yes, I don't like mirrors. They make me feel very aware of myself and uncomfortable. We have mirrors in the bathrooms, but not anywhere else in the house.

 

[Martha Ferris]

I just look in the mirror to make sure I look neat and tidy before going out otherwise I don't spend any time in front of them. Not interested in gazing at myself.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I don't like images or videos of myself.

You're right about the hair thing. Comb it, make it look right,...move on. Of course, I have less hair now,...so,...less time in the mirror.

 

[LadyS]

Same. I look at myself once in the morning to start the day. And then glance at my hot mess at the end of the day.

Hate photos and videos of myself especially. The outside never comes close to matching my insides.

 

[SimonSays]

I don't have a problem with seeing my reflection, and can easily watch a video of me as a talking head when I used to make those type of personal recordings. I know it's me I'm looking at, but it's also him.

When I look in the bathroom mirror I see a face I'm familiar with, where all the bits that are my responsibility to take care of are contained. When I'm electric shaving I probably look at the reflection a bit more intently, as I do if I'm brushing my teeth or flossing, or trimming nasal hair, otherwise I have little need to look in a mirror.

Edit:

I used to do this thing once, where I'd gaze directly into my eyes in the mirror, and imagine that instead of looking at my reflection, I was looking at somebody else looking at me from another dimension. It is a weird thing to do, and if you do it long enough sometimes strange thoughts occur. I wonder who he is and what his life is like. What would he want to say to me if he had the chance? Things like that. I never did it for very long, and I haven't done it for years, but it suddenly occurred to me, and so I thought I'd mention it.

 

[Gracey]

Perfunctory really.

If needing assistance to investigate or check using a small hand held.
(There's only so much one can see using eyes and twisting or turning body)

For example, I can't see my eyebrows or the top & back of my hair.

Can't see helix or tragus piercings in order to check over and clean,
those types of things.

I don't have any mirrors hung on the walls.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

When looking in a mirror to comb the little hair I have, I wonder at the decrepit looking old guy staring at me.

 

[Ken]

Every morning when I shave and get dressed, I don't have a problem seeing myself in the mirror. Where I have a problem is getting a glimpse of myself in a public place, like in a clothing store, etc. I can be walking about in the store and if I pass a mirror and see myself, it's almost a shock. It's like, "who is that guy?" How I feel and see myself on the inside has no comparison to what I see on the outside. I look more like Mr. Bean than me. It really takes me back. If I stand there and adjust my face and posture, I can get myself to look almost satisfyingly normal. Then I proceed on thinking I look much better, until I pass another mirror. Then it's the same thing all over. I just can't seem to maintain the look.
I suspect the difference between my bathroom mirror while shaving and getting dressed may be that I am reliably alone. It's just me. In the store, I know that everyone around can see me, making me extremely self-conscious. I guess, kind of like Mr. Bean trying to look "normal" ends up making me look very dorky and confused with a stupor look on my face. Makes me not want to look, but at the same time I realize that everyone else can see, so I want to look and try to fix it. A very ill at ease feeling.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

When looking in a mirror to comb the little hair I have, I wonder at the decrepit looking old guy staring at me.

Many years ago, I had an interesting conversation with my grandfather,...he was about 90yrs old at the time. Grandma had passed away about 10 years earlier,...she had a rare Parkinson's-like dementia,...forget the name of it,...but he spent his final 10-15 years with her as she mentally faded away. Sad, but he admitted that after that long of a process, it was a relief on him. He became a kid again, dancing and DJ'ing at the retirement center a few nights a week, socializing, found a lady friend,...he was a totally different person,...and happy.

So, we were sitting around the house, Christmas time, my dad, my sons,...4 generations just talking and laughing. Sure enough, the guy talk got around to girls,...my boys were in their teens at the time. My grandfather, said something kind of profound,...paraphrasing,..."The body gets old, but the mind stays young." Then expounding upon how he certainly recognizes the attractiveness of a beautiful young woman,...the 18 year old in his mind is very aware of his thoughts and desires. Then, the 90 year old in his mind is also recognizing that, well, he's 90, and frankly, just gross to a young woman,...and is the age of his great grandchildren. He said, it's just a weird thing getting old. We had a laugh.

What you said just triggered a good memory of my grandfather.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

I don't have a problem with seeing my reflection, and can easily watch a video of me as a talking head when I used to make those type of personal recordings. I know it's me I'm looking at, but it's also him.

When I look in the bathroom mirror I see a face I'm familiar with, where all the bits that are my responsibility to take care of are contained. When I'm electric shaving I probably look at the reflection a bit more intently, as I do if I'm brushing my teeth or flossing, or trimming nasal hair, otherwise I have little need to look in a mirror.

Edit:

I used to do this thing once, where I'd gaze directly into my eyes in the mirror, and imagine that instead of looking at my reflection, I was looking at somebody else looking at me from another dimension. It is a weird thing to do, and if you do it long enough sometimes strange thoughts occur. I wonder who he is and what his life is like. What would he want to say to me if he had the chance? Things like that. I never did it for very long, and I haven't done it for years, but it suddenly occurred to me, and so I thought I'd mention it.

I did that too. We called it face dancing.

 

[Suzette]

@Yeshuasdaughter, I have never been through chemo so forgive me if my comments seem insensative or "toxically positive".
When I read you story I don't think "weak, cancer survior". I think "Amazing. She is so strong and resilient".
Perhaps you can't see that part of you. That is too bad. Mirrors can lie you know and they never tell the whole truth.
Your relative has the sensitivity of a rock. (And I feel like I am insulting the rock by saying so!)

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Many years ago, I had an interesting conversation with my grandfather,...he was about 90yrs old at the time. Grandma had passed away about 10 years earlier,...she had a rare Parkinson's-like dementia,...forget the name of it,...but he spent his final 10-15 years with her as she mentally faded away. Sad, but he admitted that after that long of a process, it was a relief on him. He became a kid again, dancing and DJ'ing at the retirement center a few nights a week, socializing, found a lady friend,...he was a totally different person,...and happy.

So, we were sitting around the house, Christmas time, my dad, my sons,...4 generations just talking and laughing. Sure enough, the guy talk got around to girls,...my boys were in their teens at the time. My grandfather, said something kind of profound,...paraphrasing,..."The body gets old, but the mind stays young." Then expounding upon how he certainly recognizes the attractiveness of a beautiful young woman,...the 18 year old in his mind is very aware of his thoughts and desires. Then, the 90 year old in his mind is also recognizing that, well, he's 90, and frankly, just gross to a young woman,...and is the age of his great grandchildren. He said, it's just a weird thing getting old. We had a laugh.

What you said just triggered a good memory of my grandfather.

I think that a passion for experiences has helped me. At 60 I went with two friends from Costa Rica to Lollapalooza to repay them for taking me to Salsa clubs in San Jose. This year at 71 I finally did something that I've wanted to do all my life and took performance driving lessons in my little MR2. At the track my instructor let me drive two sessions, solo as he watched me from the bleachers to critique my performance. Back at the paddock he asked my age, as other instructors were wondering at the geezer having his first day at the track. Now I am planning some geology trips next year, one probably to Morocco. I aim to be active for as long as possible and thoroughly used up. Now I am glad to have denied myself things when I was younger in order to save furiously now that I have the experience to enjoy, with gratitude, the little pleasures I can now afford.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Nowadays, I again look like I did pre-treatment, and people have said I'm pretty, but to myself, after everything I've been through, I do feel very self conscious and kind of ugly. I don't like being photographed or looking in the mirror very much.

A heart rating to send a hug your way. You have been through so much and persevered! Maybe the image of yourself is being influenced by the grim treatments you received rather than your appearance. Hang in there.

The one thing I remain proud of what I accomplished was the basic research I did to add to our knowledge about the mechanisms of carcinogenesis.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I think that a passion for experiences has helped me. At 60 I went with two friends from Costa Rica to Lollapalooza to repay them for taking me to Salsa clubs in San Jose. This year at 71 I finally did something that I've wanted to do all my life and took performance driving lessons in my little MR2. At the track my instructor let me drive two sessions, solo as he watched me from the bleachers to critique my performance. Back at the paddock he asked my age, as other instructors were wondering at the geezer having his first day at the track. Now I am planning some geology trips next year, one probably to Morocco. I aim to be active for as long as possible and thoroughly used up. Now I am glad to have denied myself things when I was younger in order to save furiously now that I have the experience to enjoy, with gratitude, the little pleasures I can now afford.

Pretty cool. You and I have some similar interests. Track racing, geology, fossils, etc.

I am in this mode right now where I just want to cram as much into my retirement account as possible, retire early, and see the world while I am still young enough to get around and enjoy things. I am on track for 62,...but lately, with all the increased stress working at the hospital,...I might settle for less money and get out a bit earlier. Might want to get a job watering plants at a nursery or something,...

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I deleted my post from earlier. It's not always as bad as all that. Sometimes I feel down. But I had a nice day, and feel much better about things.

 

[Crossbreed]

I am pretty "meh" about my appearance in mirrors, images, etc.
I don't hate my looks (and I am glad for my reasonable degree of health). I just consider myself to look mundane.

Before my wife's depression, she was very affirming (which I happily received). I was happy that she thought I was appealing.

 

[SusanLR]

@Ken
Your description fits my mirror experience.
It's being out in public like in a store that I see myself and think surely I don't look that bad and try to
straighten my appearance up a bit.
At home it is totally different. I can be very focused on my hair, face, teeth or how my clothes fit
my figure, especially before going somewhere.
I still use a mirror to do morning routines even if I'm alone all day in the house.

@Suzette
Only for a short period of time did I have what you describe about not wanting to look at myself
in a mirror. And it is difficult to explain the reasoning behind it.
It was mental/emotional somehow as I was going through a bout of anxiety/depression/low self esteem.
I would avoid looking at myself in a mirror totally if I could.
I never understood that aversion unless it had something to do with the dark place my emotions were
in at the time. A type of denial or just wished I wasn't even here maybe.

 

[RobZombiefan]

@Ken mentioned in another post that he doesn't like looking at himself in mirrors. I relate to this very strongly. I will look at myself in a mirror but only at some detail like when I have to comb my hair, I look at my hair, not my general image.

In fact, I don't like mirrors in general and I avert my eyes if I have to pass one. I find mirrors to be uncanny and disquieting. It maybe due to the reversed image, I think there is more to it but I can't express these thoughts.

Can anyone else relate to this?

I can relate. I don't like mirrors either!