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Mind Blindness?

B

broadstreetbum

Active Member
Can anyone on here clarify what mind blindness is? I understand the "opposite of empathy" definition but i'm having trouble coming up with real life situations or when i'm exibiting it. Like if I walk down the street and see a girl crying i'm aware she is upset. So what gives? Haha.
 
"If I can't/don't feel it or perceive it, then they can't/don't feel it or perceive it" (or vice versa).
is one description of mind blindness.
Empathy, Mindblindness, and Theory of Mind

Are you assuming that you do or should exhibit "mind blindness" ?

It looks like you're asking whether you can really be on the spectrum
if you don't find it difficult to impossible to fathom what may be
going on with another person.
 
tree said:
"If I can't/don't feel it or perceive it, then they can't/don't feel it or perceive it" (or vice versa).
is one description of mind blindness.
Empathy, Mindblindness, and Theory of Mind

Are you assuming that you do or should exhibit "mind blindness" ?

It looks like you're asking whether you can really be on the spectrum
if you don't find it difficult to impossible to fathom what may be
going on with another person.
Click to expand...
I have severe problems with understanding why people do or don't do things. Ive been told so many times that I need to realize that not everyone is like me. For me everything has a simple "do" or "don't do" solution. If you don't like your job just quit. It's that simple. If you are overweight you diet. Not that hard. Not that it's easy to just do these things but why complain if youre not going to try to fix it? It causes me to come off like im insensitive and I was just wondering if that would be mind blindness.
 
The "simple solutions" sound to me like black and white thinking.
And.....it could be an extension of inability to imagine how other
people think about their own situations.

When you gave the example of seeing a crying girl and knowing
she was upset, I supposed you meant that you didn't believe that
you ever experience 'mind blindness' since you're able to perceive
that other people can be in various emotional states.

So, you attribute your way of thinking/feeling to other people,
and have been told that you need to realize everyone is not
like you.
 
tree said:
The "simple solutions" sound to me like black and white thinking.
And.....it could be an extension of inability to imagine how other
people think about their own situations.

When you gave the example of seeing a crying girl and knowing
she was upset, I supposed you meant that you didn't believe that
you ever experience 'mind blindness' since you're able to perceive
that other people can be in various emotional states.

So, you attribute your way of thinking/feeling to other people,
and have been told that you need to realize everyone is not
like you.
Click to expand...
Thats pretty much what I do. I think that because it's easy for me to do something it's easy for everyone else because the logic that my decisions are based on seem to be well...logical. I don't see how people don't understand it. The main reason I joined this site and am wondering if I am on the spectrum is to help my relationship. I put my girlfriend through a lot of torment with every argument ending with her saying "You just don't get it!" It took me 3 years to tell her I love her because I was looking for specific examples of ways to know I love her. I even went as far as to search google because I couldn't naturally "feel" it. I was starting to think I was a sociopath until she mentioned aspergers so i've just been trying to get as much insight as possible and so far everyone here is very helpful so thank you.
 
Here is an extreme example:

As you are driving down the road you come to an area where traffic is backed up from a tragic accident that just occurred, many people are injured and probably passed away.

At one extreme:
An empathic feels the pain experienced by the victims and probably can’t look at the accident scene, for it is too overwhelming.

At the other extreme:
An Alexithymic is indifferent toward the victims, maybe a thought toward dialing 911 if first responders are not there because that is the logical next step and simply drives passed.


I’m Alexithymic.
 
Keigan said:
Here is an extreme example:

As you are driving down the road you come to an area where traffic is backed up from a tragic accident that just occurred, many people are injured and probably passed away.

At one extreme:
An empathic feels the pain experienced by the victims and probably can’t look at the accident scene, for it is too overwhelming.

At the other extreme:
An Alexithymic is indifferent toward the victims, maybe a thought toward dialing 911 if first responders are not there because that is the logical next step and simply drives passed.


I’m Alexithymic.
Click to expand...
I'm embarrassed to admit this but my first thought is "ugh now i'm gonna be late for the gym. This messes my whole evening up." But i'm very aware that it's wrong to think that way. I'm not oblivious to it, it just happens.
 
Alexithymia affects 10% of the general population.

Alexithymia.us has forums where people describe their experiences very well, good resource for research.
 
broadstreetbum said:
I just took that test and scored 126 points. I'm not sure how that is in comparison to other people. But it said it was "very high"
Click to expand...
My score was higher, at that time I was answering with a mixture of real me and my coping mechanisms - it would be much higher now as i’m More aware of my coping mechanisms.
 
Keigan said:
My score was higher, at that time I was answering with a mixture of real me and my coping mechanisms - it would be much higher now as i’m More aware of my coping mechanisms.
Click to expand...
Have people labeled you as narcissistic? Or self centered? I feel like people think of me that way.
 
broadstreetbum said:
Have people labeled you as narcissistic? Or self centered? I feel like people think of me that way.
Click to expand...
People who do not know me have certainly labeled me, I don’t always make a good first impression. Though once I put my mind towards an individual I do pretty well.

One of my objectives has been to serve others, to place the needs of those I am close with before my own needs with a touch of balance. Some times things go better than other times.

I use a bullseye like a dart board to prioritize how I spend my time and where/who I invest my energy - a primary though in that prioritization is a statement that “if I fall, all these people fall also”. Not exactly narcissistic though I know my own balance is paramount of importance, for if i’m Out of balance then everyone and everything falls which I don’t want. Once people get that, they understand me a whole lot better.

My primary objective is to help the world to be with me.
 
Keigan said:
This thought:



Could easily be perceived as narcissistic. As it is all about the speaker with no regard to others.
Click to expand...
It's really not that I would ever wish anyone was hurt. I just don't do very good with my plans being interrupted so that is the very first thing that I react to. I've tried to take small steps towards being more in touch with peoples feelings. Sometimes I feel like i'm doing good and sometimes I forget to "try" and slip. I'm glad you found something that works for you.
 
broadstreetbum said:
It's really not that I would ever wish anyone was hurt. I just don't do very good with my plans being interrupted so that is the very first thing that I react to. I've tried to take small steps towards being more in touch with peoples feelings. Sometimes I feel like i'm doing good and sometimes I forget to "try" and slip. I'm glad you found something that works for you.
Click to expand...
Which is fantastic that you have the awareness, as well as the passion to “try”. It is exhausting, though the more we practice the awareness and self-regulation the easier it gets. Small steps are great, eventually the steps become faster and longer as we accelerate from walking to running.
 
In my case, since my default mode is to be inside my own thoughts, I have to make an extra effort to ‘disconnect’ from ‘me’ and my mental world, to pay attention to my surroundings, including other people.

Then, I pay attention, listen, and make questions, because I know that I don’t grasp certain signs, like certain body language, non literal speech, etc, that also contribute to not seeing what’s in the mind of the person in front of me.

To do that, it’s important that I have a certain peace of mind. In other words, if I’m stressed out, all my good intentions of understanding other people’s minds, go to the gutter.

In a nutshell, to improve my other-people’s-mind vision, I have to be calmed down, listen, pay attention and make questions.

And then, I need to recharge batteries by being alone for a while, because doing that, can leave me tired.
 
Learning that I have mind blindness sometimes, has helped me out to be more aware, and more compassionate, towards me and also other people. Instead of getting mad at something, I go the extra mile to stop my thought process and ponder other variables that I haven’t pondered before.
In other words, knowing that I have mind blindess sometimes, has made me (I think) more humble and less arrogant in certain situations.
 
This story changed my life:
The teacher showed the class a book, and asked the classroom what color it was.
‘Red!’ screamed everybody.
‘Are you sure?’ asked the teacher.
‘Yes!’ answered the kids.
Then, the teacher turned around the notebook, and it was blue in the other side.

We cannot guess what’s the color in the other side. But we can assume that there might be a different color in the other side, before we get mad and start defending our ‘view’ to the place of no return.
 
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