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Mild psychosis - psychotic depression?

Rainbow-Sprinkles

Rainbow-Sprinkles

Active Member
Hey people,

I'm quite a complex person. I have autism and OCD, however, I think I'm quite severely depressed. I'm on medication - 60mg of Prozac. It's works well for the OCD, but not so much for the depression. Also I'm extremely overweight as well, so that could be contributing to the depression.

Anyways, I think I once had an episode of psychosis back when I was 16-years old. I started believing that anime/cartoon characters hated my mum. I have no idea why I thought like this, but it's was so distressing to me. None of the therapy I learned worked and no matter what kind of lists I'd make to say why this thought wasn't true, it didn't work. I was on hardly any medication and started gaining weight again due to eating too much to cope with distressing feelings. I think I lacked insight really badly because I honestly thought these characters were superior and better than us and had feelings too.

I think that if I came off my medication or had my dosage lowered, I would start experiencing these types of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings again. Also, I kind of want to change medication because my depression is quite bad. I'm not sure if I lost weight that the depression would just disappear?

These last 3-years, I've been on the same meds and I can feel myself slipping into a deep, dark depression. I can hear things and sometimes see things too. I can taste things in my nose as well, like smoke and mayo. I also think that Japanese people are the best because of their cartoons and comics. I think that no lives matter - only Japanese. I know this isn't true, but it causes me to want to sometimes kill myself because I think my life doesn't matter.

I also imagine things a lot. For example, I get mental images of me committing suicide and how the mental health team would find me on top of a building, needles going through my belly button, and other images. I also imagine people getting ran over by cars or people stopping me in the road. It's a bit weird.

Regarding the anime/cartoon characters, I'm not sure if that was psychosis, OCD, or both? Is it possible to have autism and psychosis?

I don't know if I should seek help because I'm not sure if a psychiatrist will believe me.
 
You should probably let people who work with you know that you are getting these thoughts. Your medication may need lessening or changing?
 
Last edited:
I'm sorry you feel this way. Depression really sucks, but to me it sounds like beyond depression. You should really talk to your psychiatrist and psychologist.

I live in Japan, and I can tell you that Japanese people are no different than anyone else. We are all humans. We all have our attributes and flaws.
 
The problem with meds is that some people have suicidal ideation when taking meds. Really, you gotta tell your doc pill supplier that your depression has worsened and maybe try something different. And for peace of mind, like please call and schedule appointment or walk into emergency room for help should you feel anything more.
 
yuh, just be a little careful about how you express yourself in speaking of suicidal ideation to a professional - I think shrinks have a duty of care to report/institutionalise people who report suicidal thoughts. Not sure though, I could be wrong.
 
Ok so there is this thing

And its totally true, but in no way EZ

**WE CAN CHANGE OUR THOUGHTS**!
 
I can, all by myself, make a choice!

And what I imagine comes to pass...

So then; I am responsible for my Mind
 
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Just this hands holding hands....

The same as it ever was, and so shall it ever be....

Over and over again...
 
And you $ing to me your song..

And I cherish your singing and say again.

It takes the pain away, a bit
 
Major Tom said:
I'm sorry you feel this way. Depression really sucks, but to me it sounds like beyond depression. You should really talk to your psychiatrist and psychologist.

I live in Japan, and I can tell you that Japanese people are no different than anyone else. We are all humans. We all have our attributes and flaws.
Click to expand...

I have tried telling the psychiatrist, but I don't think he really cares.

I know you're right at the end of it all, but I can't seem to shift these thoughts.
 
Aspychata said:
The problem with meds is that some people have suicidal ideation when taking meds. Really, you gotta tell your doc pill supplier that your depression has worsened and maybe try something different. And for peace of mind, like please call and schedule appointment or walk into emergency room for help should you feel anything more.
Click to expand...

It's really hard to get an appointment with the psychiatrist. I've been to the emergency room before and they just don't care.
 
Rainbow-Sprinkles said:
Hey people,

I'm quite a complex person. I have autism and OCD, however, I think I'm quite severely depressed. I'm on medication - 60mg of Prozac. It's works well for the OCD, but not so much for the depression. Also I'm extremely overweight as well, so that could be contributing to the depression.

Anyways, I think I once had an episode of psychosis back when I was 16-years old. I started believing that anime/cartoon characters hated my mum. I have no idea why I thought like this, but it's was so distressing to me. None of the therapy I learned worked and no matter what kind of lists I'd make to say why this thought wasn't true, it didn't work. I was on hardly any medication and started gaining weight again due to eating too much to cope with distressing feelings. I think I lacked insight really badly because I honestly thought these characters were superior and better than us and had feelings too.

I think that if I came off my medication or had my dosage lowered, I would start experiencing these types of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings again. Also, I kind of want to change medication because my depression is quite bad. I'm not sure if I lost weight that the depression would just disappear?

These last 3-years, I've been on the same meds and I can feel myself slipping into a deep, dark depression. I can hear things and sometimes see things too. I can taste things in my nose as well, like smoke and mayo. I also think that Japanese people are the best because of their cartoons and comics. I think that no lives matter - only Japanese. I know this isn't true, but it causes me to want to sometimes kill myself because I think my life doesn't matter.

I also imagine things a lot. For example, I get mental images of me committing suicide and how the mental health team would find me on top of a building, needles going through my belly button, and other images. I also imagine people getting ran over by cars or people stopping me in the road. It's a bit weird.

Regarding the anime/cartoon characters, I'm not sure if that was psychosis, OCD, or both? Is it possible to have autism and psychosis?

I don't know if I should seek help because I'm not sure if a psychiatrist will believe me.
Click to expand...
Rainbow-Sprinkles said:
Hey people,

I'm quite a complex person. I have autism and OCD, however, I think I'm quite severely depressed. I'm on medication - 60mg of Prozac. It's works well for the OCD, but not so much for the depression. Also I'm extremely overweight as well, so that could be contributing to the depression.

Anyways, I think I once had an episode of psychosis back when I was 16-years old. I started believing that anime/cartoon characters hated my mum. I have no idea why I thought like this, but it's was so distressing to me. None of the therapy I learned worked and no matter what kind of lists I'd make to say why this thought wasn't true, it didn't work. I was on hardly any medication and started gaining weight again due to eating too much to cope with distressing feelings. I think I lacked insight really badly because I honestly thought these characters were superior and better than us and had feelings too.

I think that if I came off my medication or had my dosage lowered, I would start experiencing these types of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings again. Also, I kind of want to change medication because my depression is quite bad. I'm not sure if I lost weight that the depression would just disappear?

These last 3-years, I've been on the same meds and I can feel myself slipping into a deep, dark depression. I can hear things and sometimes see things too. I can taste things in my nose as well, like smoke and mayo. I also think that Japanese people are the best because of their cartoons and comics. I think that no lives matter - only Japanese. I know this isn't true, but it causes me to want to sometimes kill myself because I think my life doesn't matter.

I also imagine things a lot. For example, I get mental images of me committing suicide and how the mental health team would find me on top of a building, needles going through my belly button, and other images. I also imagine people getting ran over by cars or people stopping me in the road. It's a bit weird.

Regarding the anime/cartoon characters, I'm not sure if that was psychosis, OCD, or both? Is it possible to have autism and psychosis?

I don't know if I should seek help because I'm not sure if a psychiatrist will believe me.
Click to expand...
Hello,

This is just an opinion. Having said that. I do know a little bit about psychology. I did receive advanced degrees, but never practiced professionally.
I think the psychosis episodes that you are having may be tied to depression. We actually studied this at university. So you can have psychotic episodes and it be related to depression.
Are you in talk therapy? Health wise, there are vitamin and mineral deficiencies that can be related to your mental health. Vitamin D is a big one. Also, most people are deficient in magnesium. I know you didn't ask for all of this information, but I like to help. I have suffered from depression most of my life and have had similar experiences that you describe. I have learned over time what my body needs. I am off meds now. I do get anxiety and have been taking cbd oil, which calms me when I have those episodes. My mother has had those episodes that you describe as well.
Although it is hard to when you are depressed, getting out in nature helps. I have a dog now, so I don't have an excuse. Do you have a dog?
 
FIVER said:
Hello,

This is just an opinion. Having said that. I do know a little bit about psychology. I did receive advanced degrees, but never practiced professionally.
I think the psychosis episodes that you are having may be tied to depression. We actually studied this at university. So you can have psychotic episodes and it be related to depression.
Are you in talk therapy? Health wise, there are vitamin and mineral deficiencies that can be related to your mental health. Vitamin D is a big one. Also, most people are deficient in magnesium. I know you didn't ask for all of this information, but I like to help. I have suffered from depression most of my life and have had similar experiences that you describe. I have learned over time what my body needs. I am off meds now. I do get anxiety and have been taking cbd oil, which calms me when I have those episodes. My mother has had those episodes that you describe as well.
Although it is hard to when you are depressed, getting out in nature helps. I have a dog now, so I don't have an excuse. Do you have a dog?
Click to expand...

Thank you for your comment.

When I experienced this episode of psychosis (at least I think it was psychosis), I was very depressed and on hardly any medication. Also my OCD was so severe that I couldn't function - I felt very suicidal at that time. Now it's like I've got more insight, but I still feel depressed.

I'm currently not in any therapy. I will be having therapy for my OCD one day, but that's it.

I don't think I could ever come off of meds because I'd relapse.

I do have a dog, but I currently have something called plantar fasciitis (heel pain) and it really hurts when I walk. If I walk slowly it's less painful. I'm going to try and exercise for an hour tomorrow. Even if it's a small walk around the block for half an hour.
 
No, do not go off meds but maybe a drug that suits you better. I know of someone who was on Prozac but made her depression worse.
So sorry about your foot. Have you ever heard about "earthing". There is a movie about it. I think it is on YouTube. So they say barefoot on the earth or hugging a tree really helps. I have that thing where lack of sunlight makes me not want to do anything. I've gotten to learning about myself and what are my triggers. I take 5 to 6 IU of vitamin D a day. A simple blood test by your family doctor can determine if it is low.
I have trouble with my weight also. I go up and down. I've realized that if I eat more I need to move more. So I walk. I have OCD as well, but it is manageable.
When I was in graduate school I read a journal article from a Japanese researcher who treated people with depression at an inpatient facility and they were prescribed to do menial chores. Some were inside and some outside. He reported a significant improvement in his patients. I always remembered that study and so I have come to realize that I feel more grounded when I do these things. Of course, sometimes you just got to go with the depression and just ride the wave until you can muster up some bravery. You said you like anime. Have you been to any CONS?
 
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