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Memories of my 47 year old son on the spectrum

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Pats, Jan 26, 2020.

  1. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I spent time with my grandson yesterday - the one who my daughter is yelling out 'help' with. :) Part of my son-in-laws concern was that they'll have to take care of him all his life. So I called her today with these memories and to ease their worries that he'll be fine.

    Yes, he's very demanding of their time. He had no interest in any of the other kids but demanded my full attention throwing a ball back and forth and I basically couldn't do anything else. Yes, now I can see things that I just didn't know before. Driving home it hit me that he's just like my oldest son was who we now know is on the spectrum. But when he was 3, that was 45 years ago and my first child - only child for 11 years. But all the memories of my oldest son came swarming back to me last night.

    At the time I remember saying he's just ALL BOY - wreckless, busy nonstop, tantrums like you wouldn't believe, and so on. I remember him having to have an iv infusion for dehydration when he was around 3 and it took myself and 4 grown men to hold him down the entire time for the infusion. I've never seen such a fighter, I would think.
    And I thought his demand for all my attention was because he was basically an only child. I remember getting so frustrated because I couldn't do anything - ANYTHING. I sounded like my daughter sounds now.
    It was impossible to get him to sleep and he'd be first one up. He'd wander off - once found him at a pool alone at night. He didn't really play with his toys but they'd be everywhere. Could not get him to do things. When older kids tried to pick him up he'd head buck them and knock them down. Once he got 2 big boys with one head buck, and he was only around 3 or 4 at the time. Nope - no one picked him up. I remember having to leave restaurants because of his tantrums - once because he wanted a buffalo burger and got a hamburger and I couldn't get him to calm down, and we had to leave. When trying to have his picture made the photographer would be trying to get him to smile and I'd tell them not to, it wouldn't be him if he was smiling in the picture, because he was always so solumn. Mostly when he was little he just wanted to dig in the dirt. (look he still loves that - he got a little backhoe last year and he's out digging every chance he gets. lol)

    But I also remember saying repeatedly that I wanted a dozen more just like him. So hats off to all you wild, crazy, don't mess with me autistic guys out there. :) I would have taken a dozen more just like ya'll. :)
     
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  2. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Like digging in the dirt too. Have been doing it since I was very young apparently. Wreckless and busy every moment of my waking life as a child. Sounds like you had your hands full Pats. Now I feel sorry for my Mom:eek:
     
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  3. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    He sounds like he had masses of energy and was his own person right from the start, @Pats. And your grandson too. Is ADHD in the mIx too? I have a friend a bit like that, she's great. Bet you're exhausted after your day with your grandson, but yet it's such a privilege too to be there for him, and be such an important person in his life. He is lucky to have such a caring, understanding and lively grandma!
     
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  4. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    I think the word you want is reckless. Wreckless means that however energetic and careless the boy might have been, at least he didn't wreck anything!
     
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  5. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    He sounds a lot like my son. I hope he can come around to working backhoes someday.
     
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  6. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes, when I seen my son today I scolded him for being so difficult, but he just laughed. lol And, typically, mom's love you and every part of you. :)
     
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  7. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Could have been - probably. We didn't know about ADHD back then either. But, even today, my son never stops.
     
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  8. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    Digging in the dirt is something I've never really done. Sounds like something a typical boy would do though so unless he hurts himself or someone else I wouldn't overly worry about it.
     
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  9. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes, my 47 year old son still loves the dirt. He got a small backhoe and constantly working on his yard with it. Come to think of it, maybe that's why he loves off road jeeps, especially when there's mud. :) So little and grown he's always loved dirt and mud. I don't worry about that.
     
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  10. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    The best grandma and mommy award go to..........Pats..........and a year's supply of free dirt delivered weekly
     
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  11. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Bigger toys for bigger boys.
     
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  12. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    @Pats, thank you for posting this. It made me smile.
     
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  13. George Newman

    George Newman Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thanks, Pats. I called my momma and we talked for two hours. Thanks again.
     
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  14. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    ohhhh that makes me feel good inside. I'm so happy you told me that.