I spent time with my grandson yesterday - the one who my daughter is yelling out 'help' with. 
Part of my son-in-laws concern was that they'll have to take care of him all his life. So I called her today with these memories and to ease their worries that he'll be fine.
Yes, he's very demanding of their time. He had no interest in any of the other kids but demanded my full attention throwing a ball back and forth and I basically couldn't do anything else. Yes, now I can see things that I just didn't know before. Driving home it hit me that he's just like my oldest son was who we now know is on the spectrum. But when he was 3, that was 45 years ago and my first child - only child for 11 years. But all the memories of my oldest son came swarming back to me last night.
At the time I remember saying he's just ALL BOY - wreckless, busy nonstop, tantrums like you wouldn't believe, and so on. I remember him having to have an iv infusion for dehydration when he was around 3 and it took myself and 4 grown men to hold him down the entire time for the infusion. I've never seen such a fighter, I would think.
And I thought his demand for all my attention was because he was basically an only child. I remember getting so frustrated because I couldn't do anything - ANYTHING. I sounded like my daughter sounds now.
It was impossible to get him to sleep and he'd be first one up. He'd wander off - once found him at a pool alone at night. He didn't really play with his toys but they'd be everywhere. Could not get him to do things. When older kids tried to pick him up he'd head buck them and knock them down. Once he got 2 big boys with one head buck, and he was only around 3 or 4 at the time. Nope - no one picked him up. I remember having to leave restaurants because of his tantrums - once because he wanted a buffalo burger and got a hamburger and I couldn't get him to calm down, and we had to leave. When trying to have his picture made the photographer would be trying to get him to smile and I'd tell them not to, it wouldn't be him if he was smiling in the picture, because he was always so solumn. Mostly when he was little he just wanted to dig in the dirt. (look he still loves that - he got a little backhoe last year and he's out digging every chance he gets. lol)
But I also remember saying repeatedly that I wanted a dozen more just like him. So hats off to all you wild, crazy, don't mess with me autistic guys out there. I would have taken a dozen more just like ya'll.
Part of my son-in-laws concern was that they'll have to take care of him all his life. So I called her today with these memories and to ease their worries that he'll be fine.Yes, he's very demanding of their time. He had no interest in any of the other kids but demanded my full attention throwing a ball back and forth and I basically couldn't do anything else. Yes, now I can see things that I just didn't know before. Driving home it hit me that he's just like my oldest son was who we now know is on the spectrum. But when he was 3, that was 45 years ago and my first child - only child for 11 years. But all the memories of my oldest son came swarming back to me last night.
At the time I remember saying he's just ALL BOY - wreckless, busy nonstop, tantrums like you wouldn't believe, and so on. I remember him having to have an iv infusion for dehydration when he was around 3 and it took myself and 4 grown men to hold him down the entire time for the infusion. I've never seen such a fighter, I would think.
And I thought his demand for all my attention was because he was basically an only child. I remember getting so frustrated because I couldn't do anything - ANYTHING. I sounded like my daughter sounds now.
It was impossible to get him to sleep and he'd be first one up. He'd wander off - once found him at a pool alone at night. He didn't really play with his toys but they'd be everywhere. Could not get him to do things. When older kids tried to pick him up he'd head buck them and knock them down. Once he got 2 big boys with one head buck, and he was only around 3 or 4 at the time. Nope - no one picked him up. I remember having to leave restaurants because of his tantrums - once because he wanted a buffalo burger and got a hamburger and I couldn't get him to calm down, and we had to leave. When trying to have his picture made the photographer would be trying to get him to smile and I'd tell them not to, it wouldn't be him if he was smiling in the picture, because he was always so solumn. Mostly when he was little he just wanted to dig in the dirt. (look he still loves that - he got a little backhoe last year and he's out digging every chance he gets. lol)
But I also remember saying repeatedly that I wanted a dozen more just like him. So hats off to all you wild, crazy, don't mess with me autistic guys out there.
I would have taken a dozen more just like ya'll. 
