Management of Special Interests

[Nightingale121]

When I was younger it was rather easy for me to manage my interests. I had more time as well as more energy since the general expectations and requirements of my daily life weren't as high as they are now in my adult life.

Now I live on my own and work at a full-time job. I'm away almost 12 hours a day because of work, including the way to and from work. My job isn't special interest-related.
After work I'm often tired and I need enough sleep to recharge for the next work day.

I plan tasks with a specific end before open-ended ones. It'll save me from even more problems if I know that I have finished cleaning the kitchen (a known routine with specific tasks to be finished one after another until I have done everything) before sitting down and researching an interest on the internet for an unspecific amount of time, for example. This way I'm usually able to do all my chores and other things that need to be done.

However, that open-ended unspecific amount of time afterwards can be a problem. Once I get lost in my special interest, it's difficult to stop and I just go on and on, forgetting about time. Of course this isn't a good idea when I know that I have to get up for work early in the morning the next day.

My current solution is to mostly engage in other interests or tasks after work to avoid this issue in the first place. I usually do something that's easier to stop, so that it's more likely that I'm able to manage going to bed at a reasonable time and get enough sleep.
It works, but it's also sad as spending more time with my special interests would be nice. I realize this every time I actually have the time to focus on my interest without needing to do anything else or worrying about going to bed. I usually take some time for this whenever I have some days off of work in a row and have more time to do whatever I want to.

I also tried to focus on one limited sub-topic at a time, e. g. one specific movie, and go to bed afterwards. This isn't always successful either though as watching the movie might include some more background research and then I'll eventually get lost in my research again and forget about going to bed.

Another aspect of my management problem is that my thoughts often wander to whatever I had planned to do in the evening related to my special interests. For example, if I actually plan to watch a specific movie or read something specific in the evening, I'll often focus and think about it during work, looking forward to it too much. I'm still able to do my actual work, but it's distracting anyway.
The aforementioned but unsatisfying solution works for this as well. If there's nothing to look forward to, I won't be distracted from work as much.

How do you manage your special interests in addition to the requirements of day-to-day life?
Do you have similar experiences?
How can you keep your focus on other things and switch between work mode and special interest mode more easily without affecting either in a negative way?

Given my own issues I'm particularly interested in the experiences from people whose job isn't related to their special interests and who need to balance these two.
However, everyone else is welcome to share their thoughts as well.

P. S.: I think that the thread Does anybody else's obsessions cause them to feel negative emotions? is related to this topic, but it doesn't focus on the actual management aspect that much although it is briefly mentioned in some replies.

 

[Misery]

The one thing that honestly stands out to me is the bit about the 12 hour work day. EVERYTHING about that screams "unhealthy" to me. PARTICULARLY for someone on the spectrum.

Hell, I know someone who does that (and isnt on the spectrum). An indie game developer I've worked with more than a few times. He very often does 12 hour work days. And you bet it takes it's toll. He's often exhausted, sometimes sick, and generally the difficulty of it adds up. Hell, the community is often rather worried about him. Now, in his case he does these shifts not because he NEEDS to (except during crunch time) but because he likes what he does. However, that doesnt whatsoever prevent the draining effects of it. 12 hours is a LONG time to spend on something daily. And that's without going into things like the social aspect of a job like that, or other aspects that can be troublesome. And he's an NT... he's not on the spectrum. I can say from personal experience that development is VERY stressful.... and I did very low hours per week when working on a game with them. Very low. If I had to do long shifts every day, doing that, I'd have gone mad.

My point is, that level of workload... regardless of the type of job... is very, very draining, and I dont mean just from the point of being tired.

I know this isnt always an option, but have you ever thought of trying to find something else, as far as work goes? Something that is going to eat up less time and leave you less physically and mentally drained? I mean, if you had to work less hours, it wouldnt take so much effort to try to manage your special interests... you'd just outright have more time for them. Which also means more time to unwind and de-stress. You'd probably also be less distracted DURING work, because of getting to engage more with non-work things. And you'd have less incidents of going to bed too late, because the stuff you want to do would fit better into your day.


Just something to think about, possibly. I think most anyone would have trouble managing pretty much anything with that workload. But even moreso for someone on the spectrum. I'd love to offer some direct tips on managing that, but with so very little time available for you... I dont have any. Other than "get more time".

Anyway, that's just my own potentially useless thoughts on it, even if everyone ends up disagreeing with me.

 

[Sid Delicious]

I would also suggest considering a job that combines a special interest, as you wouldn't feel as though you are missing out.

"I can say from personal experience that development is VERY stressful.... and I did very low hours per week when working on a game with them. Very low. If I had to do long shifts every day, doing that, I'd have gone mad."

This is definitely where combining work and interests comes into play. I'm a developer. It's also one of my special interests. Other jobs I've had previously were incredibly stressful. Developing is fun for me (even when everything is a glitchy pile of bugs and I'm up at 3am trying to fix it). If I wasn't a developer, I'd be working 8 hours + commute doing a random job, then coming home and coding 2-3 hours after work for fun. Now I get to just code 12+ hours a day, my life is much less stressful. I've just combined my work and hobby hours. The total is still the same. If it wasn't a special interest, then I couldn't do the same hours constantly, so I can appreciate why other people would 'go mad' doing it. If I had a job watching TV for 12 hours a day, I'd be in a psychiatric ward within a month as that is painfully difficult for me. Yet many people enjoy watching TV every evening. Obviously if he's not using the remaining 12 hours a day to fit in sleep, food, exercise, etc, then it's a problem, but the equivalent of 8 hours of 'work' plus 4 hours of 'thing I like doing' doesn't seem abnormal to me. I would advise anyone to try to get a job doing what they love, or at least ensure there is some cross over. Otherwise, it will be incredibly stressful and you'll spend most of your life wishing away the hours.

 

[Graphin]

I dont...

I'll really try to get a job remotely of interest, even if I get much less money I don't wanna feel dead inside.

If you work 5 days per week on a job, as far as i know in terms of work hours this is more than one is allowed according to german laws in the long term.

 

[Bolletje]

When I engage in special interests after work, I often set an alarm to tell me it’s time to go to bed. That way I can indulge but it doesn’t hurt my performance at work.

 

[Progster]

Yes, when I'm working on something related to a special interest, work, chores and other things just frustrate me and get in the way of what I'm wanting to do, and I do often procrastinate, but I have to give priority to work, I have no choice as I rely on my work for income. So I need to plan carefully when I'm going to do things - try to get the chores and work out the way before starting on something related to a special interest.

 

[Nightingale121]

I think I should clarify some details about my work at first as it probably wasn't clear enough in my first post.

1. I don't actually work 12 hours a day. I have a regular full time job, so I work 8 hours and have half an hour lunch break. So the time I spend at work is 8.5 hours a day. That's why I wrote "including the way to and from work". I go to and from work by public transport and this takes about 90 minutes each way with all the waiting times etc. So adding these times I am away from home almost 12 hours every day.
   I usually use the time on public transport to read books, so it's some sort of free time, too. However, it's not the ideal time to completely get lost in an interest as I have to pay attention, so I don't miss my station, for example.
   I agree with @Misery that having actual 12 hours work days on a regular basis would be very unhealthy and draining. And like @Graphin mentioned it's probably not even allowed in the long-term.
   
2. As I wrote my job isn't special interest-related. This doesn't mean that it's completely uninteresting to me though. My job is interesting and I like it most of the time. So I don't hate my job in general or am bored all the time because of not being interested in my actual work.

I would also suggest considering a job that combines a special interest, as you wouldn't feel as though you are missing out.

I know that this is often suggested and it's great if it actually works for someone like you described from your own experience.
However, there are some problems for me personally when it comes to this:
My special interests don't tend to be permanent and often shift in one way or another. I think it's unrealistic to get a new job every time the focus of my special interest changes.

That's why I'd rather have a job that is interesting in a broader, not so special sense. It's more unaffected by these special interest shifts. This way I have a steady job and am free in my special interests as I can switch between different interests more easily without pressure or being forced to go on with one of them because of my career choices (though one can possibly lose interest in a job at some point regardless of how "special" the interest was at the beginning).

Furthermore, my special interests often aren't "useful" in a way to easily turn them into a job.

When I engage in special interests after work, I often set an alarm to tell me it’s time to go to bed. That way I can indulge but it doesn’t hurt my performance at work.

This is a good idea.
It also requires some discipline and the ability to deal with sudden interruptions though.
For example, I would find it particularly difficult to just stop reading somewhere in the middle of a text when the alarm goes off. It could be a good sign to maybe only read one more paragraph or chapter and then come to an end and go to bed (and hopefully not be like "oh, just one more page. And one more...").
The exact way one engages in an interest obviously influences this method, too.

Do you find it easy to actually just stop right where you are once the alarm goes off? Do you have "rules" to come to a somewhat satisfying end of what you were doing at the moment that doesn't take too long, such as reading one more paragraph before going to bed?

 

[SRSAutistic]

Hi everyone,

All of your posts in this discussion are interesting, but I need help managing special interests. I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism (HFA) at age 3. As a result of the intense special interests, I cannot make any NT (neurotypical) friends as they all think I am 'weird' and that I have 'unusual' or 'odd' interests. All the NT social skills are very hard for me to learn.

When I was 4 years old, I was obsessed with Disney Cars, Thomas the Tank Engine, and Disney Planes. Four years later, the obsessions subsided.

At age 9, I was obsessed with the FIFA World Cup (football/soccer tournament). I wanted to know everything about who won the World Cup from 1930-2014. That obsession went away in a couple of months. I still remember the facts to this day!

At age 10, I was obsessed with the American Revolution. I wanted to know everything about it. After some months, the obsession went away.

At age 11, my special interest was Apple devices. I wanted to know everything about iOS software updates, iPhones, iPads, etc.

From age 12, my special interest was plugs and voltages. The special interest is still ongoing.

However, at the same time, I was addicted to some video games such as Clash of Clans (video game made by Supercell) and Grand Theft Auto/GTA. I was addicted to those games from 2016 to 2019.

When I started high school at age 14, my special interest was clocks/time zones and electricity. It was the only thing I talked about. A special interest on clocks/time zones and electricity (plugs/voltages) popped up subtly and started intensely increasing. I wanted to know everything about the plugs and voltages used around the world. The fascination with reading about time zones and electricity around the world had got to such a point that it was the only topic I talked about in school and (mostly) at home.

The special interests about clocks/time zones and electricity (plugs/voltages) are still ongoing since August 2019.

Recently, in April 2022, another special interest popped up, this time about the battery performance of electronic devices.

So, now I have three special interests: time zones, electricity (plugs/voltages), and the battery performance of electronic devices.

I have some questions:

1. How is it possible that I, a high-functioning Autistic, focus on a special interest topic for many hours of the day?

2. What is the cause for Autistic special interests being so intense?

3. Why do Autistic special interests 'pop up' out of nowhere instead of being able to choose the special interest?

4. How can I manage the special interests to avoid info dumping (pouring random information into a conversations) about the special interests with neurotypicals/NT's?

Please advise.

Regards,

SRSAutistic