• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Man that online dating is complicated.

Wolfnox

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Made the attempt on Facebook. Sheesh that's complicated stuff. Lots of overseas recommendations. For any USA dating site.
Not to mention it's pretty stiff and unreliable operation. Felt like I was sofacating on there.
Not kind at all to first users.
 
Sorry if I'm out of the loop or if I misunderstood - it sounds like you're saying that Facebook has expanded beyond being a social networking (and selling) site and into dating as well??
 
Facebook is a bit of a dumpster fire in my book, so I've never used it for dating, either.

I should mention that I've been with my wife for almost 9 years and we met on Plenty of Fish. lol
 
Last edited:
Hearing the exploits of a few friends, two inparticular that went through the tinder/online dating is one of the main reasons I'm still married. Hugely entertaining for me hearing about all the tales, but also does focus me on working on my marriage.

Whilst the above para may not be that sensitive, then both are now, and have been for 2+ years, been in stable relationships with partners they did meet online. So I guess they both went through some really bizarre/awkward/scary/surreal 'dates' and conversations before finding their partner. So accept that EVERYONE that does online dating ends up with a huge number of fails but then you'll find that right person in the end, and jsut need to laugh off all the fails to get there.
 
Try OKcupid. I enjoy it as you can write a long profile and it has hundreds, if not thousands of questions to answer. So you end up being able to match to potential friends/dates.

Ed
 
I think if I ever really did want to date, online would be the only way to do it since most people I've met in person have said I'm "not their type."
Not that I think it would be much different online, since I obviously still look and act the same, but maybe I'd be more likely to meet other autistic LGBTQ women.
I would also have way more options than I currently do living in a very small town where I already know pretty much everyone.
 
I think if I ever really did want to date, online would be the only way to do it since most people I've met in person have said I'm "not their type."
Not that I think it would be much different online, since I obviously still look and act the same, but maybe I'd be more likely to meet other autistic LGBTQ women.
I would also have way more options than I currently do living in a very small town where I already know pretty much everyone.

Nowadays I just think it's pretty much normal to do it this way since nobody gets the wrong vibe and people are ready to make connections. I wouldn't have been able to get into 90% of my previous relationships without it, because I always thought just hitting on random people in public was gross

Try OKcupid. I enjoy it as you can write a long profile and it has hundreds, if not thousands of questions to answer. So you end up being able to match to potential friends/dates.

Ed

Also, this! If anyone here only has FB (facebook, lol) dating experience I urge you to try a legit free site and see what happens. People are so much more willing to make those connections when they signed up for a site and invested time specifically for the purpose.

Sure, there are more rejections. But once you go through those you'll seriously find dates.
 
I don't have a lot of options around here because my home is isolated and I don't have tons of friends.

Being asexual or demisexual (I'm bad with labels) takes the urgency out of finding a girlfriend. It also makes you less likely to get a girlfriend generally.

I met someone on Catholic Match (yes I'm embarrassed for myself too) and we both had poor results finding a lot of people we liked. I looked at unattractive ladies' pictures for thirty minutes and said to myself I am going to write to this girl first because she's a nice honest face and she seems decent.

She'd been on there a month ago still had almost zero interest from men.

Anyway that was in July and I no longer have a dating site profile because we are happy as we can be working on getting to know each other better.

It's actually very nice, and I am going to see her again today. I've seen her parents and she has seen mine and no one has initiated hostility so yay.

I still would not recommend dating in Facebook and I am skeptical of dating sites like Catholic Match due to the userbase being mostly men. (Imagine that. LOL.) Furthermore, most girls were very sheltered and had some serious issues, such as being in this only to have a ton of kids, or being really into conspiracy theories, or being old enough to draw Social Security pensions but for the fact they are in Ecuador.

Girlfriend and I still can't believe we managed to get lucky and find each other. We had a wonderful first date within a week of talking and have not given up. I'm not expert but I think we are in it long term. Let's see what happens when we graduate college.l
 
I don't have a lot of options around here because my home is isolated and I don't have tons of friends.

Being asexual or demisexual (I'm bad with labels) takes the urgency out of finding a girlfriend. It also makes you less likely to get a girlfriend generally.

I met someone on Catholic Match (yes I'm embarrassed for myself too) and we both had poor results finding a lot of people we liked. I looked at unattractive ladies' pictures for thirty minutes and said to myself I am going to write to this girl first because she's a nice honest face and she seems decent.

She'd been on there a month ago still had almost zero interest from men.

Anyway that was in July and I no longer have a dating site profile because we are happy as we can be working on getting to know each other better.

It's actually very nice, and I am going to see her again today. I've seen her parents and she has seen mine and no one has initiated hostility so yay.

I still would not recommend dating in Facebook and I am skeptical of dating sites like Catholic Match due to the userbase being mostly men. (Imagine that. LOL.) Furthermore, most girls were very sheltered and had some serious issues, such as being in this only to have a ton of kids, or being really into conspiracy theories, or being old enough to draw Social Security pensions but for the fact they are in Ecuador.

Girlfriend and I still can't believe we managed to get lucky and find each other. We had a wonderful first date within a week of talking and have not given up. I'm not expert but I think we are in it long term. Let's see what happens when we graduate college.l
Yeah I'm debating trying Facebook again for this purpose. I've looked into other dating sites but, the review were atrocious and very disheartening. Mostly scams. Not to mention I'm not very tech savvy.
 
Where l live, the local attitude towards older woman is completely foreign to me. On the West Coast, you can be a older single female and LA was urban enough that l felt at peace being alone, and older men were respectful. In Florida, l run into a completely different attitude which l can't really relate to.

But l did meet a very handsome spiritual guy only after l was kicked off a dating site. The admin said my picture wasn't me, (it was). I think l would have talked to him in real life, but l still would have felt shy about it. :)
 
Made the attempt on Facebook. Sheesh that's complicated stuff. Lots of overseas recommendations. For any USA dating site.
Not to mention it's pretty stiff and unreliable operation. Felt like I was sofacating on there.
Not kind at all to first users.
I didnt realize that facebook even did dating. So I’ve learned something today. I get the impression that online dating is a minefield and can really depend on the people that you meet on these places.
I think if I ever really did want to date, online would be the only way to do it since most people I've met in person have said I'm "not their type."
Not that I think it would be much different online, since I obviously still look and act the same, but maybe I'd be more likely to meet other autistic LGBTQ women.
I would also have way more options than I currently do living in a very small town where I already know pretty much everyone.
Most likely for me too since my community is quite small and I am not the type to go into the bars and nightclubs that are specific for this — and I cant pretend to be comfortable in those places either. There are certain online sites for LGBTQ women: Her, Okcupid, Tinder, One scene. Although you have to be Careful with actual guys on there looking for lesbian women to turn straight (rolls eyes). And there are also some really weird people that use them but it is the same for any dating app or meeting in real life places.
 
I don't have a lot of options around here because my home is isolated and I don't have tons of friends.

Being asexual or demisexual (I'm bad with labels) takes the urgency out of finding a girlfriend. It also makes you less likely to get a girlfriend generally.

I met someone on Catholic Match (yes I'm embarrassed for myself too) and we both had poor results finding a lot of people we liked. I looked at unattractive ladies' pictures for thirty minutes and said to myself I am going to write to this girl first because she's a nice honest face and she seems decent.

She'd been on there a month ago still had almost zero interest from men.

Anyway that was in July and I no longer have a dating site profile because we are happy as we can be working on getting to know each other better.

It's actually very nice, and I am going to see her again today. I've seen her parents and she has seen mine and no one has initiated hostility so yay.

I still would not recommend dating in Facebook and I am skeptical of dating sites like Catholic Match due to the userbase being mostly men. (Imagine that. LOL.) Furthermore, most girls were very sheltered and had some serious issues, such as being in this only to have a ton of kids, or being really into conspiracy theories, or being old enough to draw Social Security pensions but for the fact they are in Ecuador.

Girlfriend and I still can't believe we managed to get lucky and find each other. We had a wonderful first date within a week of talking and have not given up. I'm not expert but I think we are in it long term. Let's see what happens when we graduate college.l
How wonderful! I hope you are on your way to a long-term relationship. As that settles in you wii have different work to do. I think it was not luck, but a willingness to connect and acceptance of another person that allowed you two to find each other. A nice, positive, story. Always remember it.
 
Made the attempt on Facebook. Sheesh that's complicated stuff. Lots of overseas recommendations. For any USA dating site.
Not to mention it's pretty stiff and unreliable operation. Felt like I was sofacating on there.
Not kind at all to first users.

When I used online dating sites I think I got a lot of liars. The responses showed pretty women but almost all from Africa and what they said to me did not sound right. I was pretty sure it was a trick. I saw some of the same responses on other sites.

I am glad I do not date any more but I did meet women on Craig's list. I went on a few dates. The woman I was with for eight years I met at the library. I kept seeing her and she would say no when I asked if she would join the group we were with for lunch. I kept asking once a month, always no. I could not stop thinking about her though so I sent her an email and we started talking that way and had a life together.

We did lots of things. One Thanksgiving me made the meal together. It was so nice being with each other that day. The meal came out perfect too. We are not together any more and do not even talk but I found out what being in a relationship was like and had all my questions answered.
 
Facebook is a bit of a dumpster fire in my book, so I've never used it for dating, either.

I should mention that I've been with my wife for almost 9 years and we met on Plenty of Fish. lol

I am glad you met your wife on Plenty of Fish but it went badly for me there. I met women who tricked me. One said she wanted to go on a date but she wanted to go to an Italian restaurant. I looked for a while and found one. Then she said she wanted a restaurant with a fireplace. She kept doing that, making it one more thing. This lasted about a month while I looked hard to find all the things she wanted and I asked friends for help and I was happy. Then she admitted she was never going to go out with me, she was doing it for fun, talking to me about dating. It hurt me so badly I never got over it.
 
I used online dating on and off for many years and only once did I ever get a date, and she completely ghosted and left me on read afterwards.

I used Tinder when it was popular and still viable back in 2015 and it was me and two other friends who signed up around the same time. My two friends both were able to meet up with girls and sometimes even sleep with them while I kept getting left on read and couldn't even get a date. They were both normal height and fairly attractive while I'm extremely short and back then, I had a skinny and undeveloped body, plus I didn't know how to talk to women at all. Those were the reasons I was never successful.

TLDR I'm too short for online dating.
 
I have no problems getting men for the wrong reason. Trying to find meanful relationships is a hassle. So l did meet a super sweet unique authentic person on plenty of fish. And l turned down a bunch of others because l suffer with meeting strange people. It's rather difficult for me, and l am pretty introverted but l am well trained in masking being social. Yes, this person is totally my type too. I didn't even read the bio. My bad. Don't objectify.
 
Facebook is a bit of a dumpster fire in my book, so I've never used it for dating, either.

I should mention that I've been with my wife for almost 9 years and we met on Plenty of Fish. lol
Plenty of Fish... Now there's a site I forgot about
index.png
 

New Threads

Top Bottom